My ex cheated on me after a year of being together. I left him and met a military guy out of state. We are currently dating long distance for about 4 months and all was moving forward until my ex came back, willing to commit and clearly has changed. He didnt know about the other guy until recently so I know it's not a competition thing. Military boy offers a trustworthy relatioship and a better sense of security for our future, however I know I still love my ex. I have to decide before chirstmas because I know FOR A FACT that both of them are going to ask me to marry. One hinted around and the other told me. Im completely lost and torn. They both have unique qualities that I am very much so in love with. I want to move forward with a relationship, just what one. A part of me feels like I havent been dating the Military guy to know if we could last but everything has been effortless. I have spent time with the ex and he's truly changed, but he knows I have trust issues with him.
2006-11-22 04:26:38 · 28 answers · asked by TORN BY MY HEART!! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't go with your ex. This new guy seems much more trust worthy.
REmember: once a cheater, always a cheater. Nothing is going to change that, regardless of how commited he appears. Cheating is an addiction.
I would go with the military guy. Try a new relationship--you never know where it will take you.
Your ex is your ex for a reason.
2006-11-22 04:29:53 · answer #1 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never go backwards, always try to go forward.. at the very least it will take you some place new..
and Revese only takes you places you've already been , how many times do you need to watch the movie before you can remember the ending.....
And as far as love goes... loves has to work both ways... and requires character...
And personally Its seems his Character needs some more time to develop and Grow.... Miracles don't happen over night..
Sorry to say
Where as the Newbie.... Lets just say sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder but you are probably just in need of some good old fashioned SEX
Get someone you can really get close too ...If you get what I mean..
Good Luck
Good luck
2006-11-22 04:40:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel a need to rush into marriage just because you're being asked? You admit to feeling hesitant about Military guy because you don't know him well - four months of long distance contact isn't enough to base a marriage on. Having trust issues with your ex is a red flag. Marrying either of them would be a mistake. Take time out.
2006-11-22 04:43:25 · answer #3 · answered by Essmi d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure any of us are close enough to give you the answer to this. My first instinct was to say move forward, and that would be with the new love, forgetting the old. If you are intimate with both, or even if you aren't they may decide you have cheated on them.
I think...
Whatever you decide, you need to realize that you could still lose them both.
That fear may be what's clouding the issue...knowing that if you choose the "wrong one" and the other one doesn't work out, that you will be left alone. If it is, conquer that fear, accept that there are some things you cannot predict, and after some time alone and in prayer, make your choice. They deserve a committed relationship too.
2006-11-22 04:35:10 · answer #4 · answered by Calvin James Hammer 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're not in love with both of them, that's impossible. But clearly you're not completely sure about how you feel about either of them. If you and your ex broke up because you cheated then you would have to be absolutely positive of his trustworthiness before you go back to him. In my personal opinion, cheaters are always cheaters, but this one could be different. Having said that, I don't think you can move on with the military guy until you're completely over your ex, it wouldn't be fair on either of you.
You can weigh up the pros and cons of both guys for hours but it'd make no difference, you have to follow your heart. The way to do this is to discover which guy you just can't live without. You need time away from both of them, and see which one you miss more. Then you'll know in your heart which one you truly love.
Another piece of advice is they both might get p.issed off having to wait around to see if you're gonna choose them, so while I think you should take the time you need, don't push it by making them wait any longer than necessary.
2006-11-22 04:36:36 · answer #5 · answered by Ally 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When you are confused, the best thing to do is sit back and relax.Take a deep breath and forget about the two guys for a while and focus only on yourself.choose a pleasant and quiet environment.Ask yourself the above question which you asked us here on yahoo answers.Coz i know the only person that knows whom to choose and stay with for the rest of life is you.To the question of your life you are the only answer.think about the two guys,take one at a time,can u be secure or happy with a person who cheated on you in the past,chances are good that he may cheat you in future,or a long distance relationship isnt secure enough to completely rely on it.This is your moment,and you are capable of making a decision only for yourself,just choose one person with whom you think you will be happy with.dont get lost or torn,choose one who you think will make you complete or whole.your heart knows who it is and move ahead with him.dont choose the one you dont trust.
2006-11-22 04:52:04 · answer #6 · answered by Sheeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not be in love with 2 different guys. If I was you and your ex has changed then I would pick the ex because you have clearly not have known the military guy long enough to possibly marry him.
2006-11-22 04:31:13 · answer #7 · answered by butterflybaby 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
once a cheater always a cheater. he may say he cant live with out u but theres always a chance he will still cheat trust is the biggest part of a relationship if u dont trust him then get rid of him u dont want to spend ur life wondering if hes cheating on u all thats going to do is stress u out it may seem he changed alot but that can be a cover up maybe after u 2 broke up he didnt care but then he decided that he didnt want to see u with another guy he wants his cake and eat it to its up to u though
2006-11-22 04:33:09 · answer #8 · answered by swpa_couple15301 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would never go back to someone who cheated on me. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Go with the military man and give him a chance. Without trust in a relationship - no matter how much you love him - you have NOTHING
2006-11-22 04:32:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is harsh, but you have to look in your heart and ask yourself which way you want to go. If you marry a military guy you will hardly see him and you will have to leave your family and friends to go off to some weird place where he is stationed, but if you give your ex a chance he might hurt you again. I personally got cheated on and gave him another chance and we are happy and married and he has never hurt me again, but it took a risk. Good luck
2006-11-22 04:33:18 · answer #10 · answered by trsfernandez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋