Depression?

Question

I am have had a lot of outside influences in the past 6 months that have really depressed me. Leaving my career to start a business that failed, a wife that was not supportive, no money etc. My wife and I are going through a seperation and I am not able to be with my son as often as I wold like. I just seem to keep getting kicked when I am down. What can I do to try and keep my sanity.

I have been trying to fight it, but my frustration tends to push people away. I do not have any type of support system ( my wife was basically it) I have gone to therarpy but it does not seem to help. Most of my frustration comes from my wife who left me in the cold when I asked her for help.

Answer 1

Please see your primary care physician. They can discuss this with you, possibly give a preliminary diagnosis and outline possible treatment options. Depression is not something to be ignored - many celebrities (ie Mike Wallace) have spoken about their situation.

Keep up a vigorous exercise regimen, too. The endorphins released during hard exercise make a difference to your emotional well-being. Running, bicycling, swimming - whatever you do will help you change your focus, keep your cardiovascular system strong and help control weight.

Eat well - don't snack on rich, fatty foods, but try to eat 3 balanced meals every day (or even 5 smaller ones) with complex carbohyrdates, some protein and lots of vegetables and fruits. Cut the alcohol and soft drinks, and eliminate refined sugar.

Write a list of your accomplishments in your life - you will probably recall much more than you realize you have done. Write down things you are thankful for - your parents and siblings, your health, the health of you wife and son. (Who knows how things will turn out - but if your son has two good parents, that is what matters.) If you are religious, continue with your practice and remember to be thankful for every blessing you have. Perhaps your church or synagogue can offer some support to you.

Make a list of priorities for the next 30, 60 and 90 days. Health & nutrition, stabilizing your financial situation (get several jobs - use a temp agency if necessary, borrow from your family if they are willing.) Cut expenses down to the bone - cancel cable TV, cell phones, subscriptions, eating out, cut insurance to the minimums, wear sweaters and turn down the heat -- anything you can think of eliminating or cutting -- do it.

Work with your wife to keep your son's welfare a top concern. Visit him and do free or inexpensive activities as much as you can. Tell him you love him every time you see or talk with him.

You will get thru this - it will take time, patience and maturity. Think of where you want to be in 2-3 years. Think about how you want your son to think of you during the separation and/or divorce process - as a respectful adult and father, not an angry man. Be respectful to your wife thru this process, how ever it turns out.

Hopefully, you two can reconcile your relationship. If not, make the best of it. You may eventually need legal help and counselling to work thru a very emotional process.

I wish you good luck, and I hope the 3 of you can have the best Thanksgiving possible during a very difficult time.

Answer 2

Everyone's response except coolbeans sounds like it'd make me even more depressed & frustrated. Nothing like reading about or listening to someone talk about how life really is so wonderful when yours is in the sh*tter, is there? I understand your feelings...I am in a similar boat. Honestly, the only thing that helps me make it through the day sometimes is a fresh experience. By this I mean just take a couple of hours and go do something you've never done before, whether it's go to a park you've never seen, go fishing, whatever. Just make sure you've never done it before and it interests you. Part of the depression cycle I've found is that your daily routine is a big part of the problem. By not breaking free of this routine you're never able to see outside of it. If all you do is get up, have breakfast, do work, have lunch, do work, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed, then you've created your own self-sustaining universe. And if things in that universe are making you depressed, then you need to break the cycle & get out. I hope I'm making sense here. Day by day, break the routine of your life and you'll find it gets brighter & brighter. Day by day. Please consider meds only as a LAST RESORT as anti-depression meds are serious business (and I do mean business...nothing like keeping you depressed to make the manufacturers money, is there). Good luck to you!!

Answer 3

First off, there's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying. If you're having a hard time getting your business off the ground, change your strategy. Remember, every goal has infinate paths to its attainment.

Secondly, maybe you should start dating again. If your wife left you on the grounds of your business not doing well, she's not the one for you. Go out and date and eventually you'll meet someone who will support and encourage you through good times and bad. It also wouldn't hurt to increase you circle of friends.

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Do this in order that I give you.

1) Go to your libary and get a book called Celestine prophecy and read it all the way through no matter if you are bored.

2) Get the movie What the Bleep do we KNow

3) Go back to your libary and get Zen Commandments. If you library doesn't have it see if you can get it ordered from another
library

Then let me know how things are going...I have a final suggestion but you must complete those first. Good luck

Answer 5

I actually were affected by placed up partum melancholy for the previous one 12 months when I gave delivery to a toddler boy. i could not provide up wondering about how my husband loves him better than me and how issues will be extra useful if he wasn't born in any respect. therefore, I stayed far flung from him because I knew that i'd do something i will experience sorry about for something else of my life. quite somewhat perfect away I went to a therapist and convince them that i favor help. between different issues, i have tried organic supplementations and different e book to administration melancholy yet no longer something works like the melancholy free technique. So now i'm proud to say i'm between the happiest mom contained in the international. My husband loves us both very a lot and that i thank the Lord for the blessing he gave us. melancholy free technique?

Answer 6

Read "Calming Your Anxious Mind" by Jeffrey Brantley, and Read "Working with Anger" by Thubten Chodron, which deals with depression and anxiety alot too.
Read anything by Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD.
Read also anything by Dr. Andrew Weil.
Some of these books are available to read at the Library, as well.

Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn also has a practice/a clinic which might be worth visiting for you.

R.N. - with Masters Degree.

Answer 7

Start exercising every day (strenuous exercise) to help activate the endorphins in your brain. If after two weeks you still feel depressed then talk to your doctor. In the meantime, see your son as often as possible and find a temporary, meaningless job that you enjoy that will bring in some income. Hope this helps.

Answer 8

sometimes it is hard to fight it. you deserve to feel better, and once you do you will be able to fight it. seeing a doctor to go on an SSRI for several months might not be a bad idea. therapy takes longer. if you are relctant, there are ways to increasse your serotonin levels - drink warm milk before bedtime and get a good nights sleep, get a good 1/2-1 hr of sunlight everyday, excercise regularly (in the morning might be most helpful). and sex increases serotonin levels, but that might make things more complicated for you know.

Answer 9

well, this is an emotional issue. meds might help, but they arent probably the route to take. the best thing to do is fight back. being kicked when you're down is bad, but if you dont fight back, it's worse. you need motivation to keep you going here. you're not going to be happy, so dont try to make yourself happy. you're going through bad times, and noone should force themselves happy in a situation where anger or sorrow is justified. just keep pushing ahead if not for you, for your son. kids are always good motivation to keep you going through hard times.

Answer 10

depression is something that is not easy to get over it takes time the best thing to do is actually talk to some one who cares and someone you dont know might be the best because it gives you time to hear things for a different point of view ive been depressed for a while and i know how to deal with it if you want to talk [e-mail]