Why do I have no motivation for living?

Question

For years I have been trying to find my core, my values, what I am, what to do etc. And cannot find an answer. It has been so depressing that I just cannot see the point in living. I’m 47. Oh sure, I have seen the doctor who gave me some happy pills; saw a shrink who wanted to take me back to my childhood; saw a Life Coach (the biggest waste of money ever!!) who suggested going to an amateur drama group.. So here I am – in debt, lost my house, car repossessed, cannot see what to go for. Oh by the way I am a freelance Chartered Accountant and hate it so much, or maybe I find it useful to blame. Answers on a back of a £50 note please. (No religious answers please) Thanks. Garry

For years I have been trying to find my core, my values, what I am, what to do etc. And cannot find an answer. It has been so depressing that I just cannot see the point in living. I’m 47. Oh sure, I have seen the doctor who gave me some happy pills; saw a shrink who wanted to take me back to my childhood; saw a Life Coach (the biggest waste of money ever!!) who suggested going to an amateur drama group.. So here I am – in debt, lost my house, car repossessed, cannot see what to go for. Oh by the way I am a freelance Chartered Accountant and hate it so much, or maybe I find it useful to blame.

I have a smashing girlfriend that loves me to bits and yet I feel I am letting her down so much. I seem to cause misery and depair everywhere I go.

Any yet, the most frustrating thing is that I know I can be GREAT!! If only I know at what!!!

Answers on a back of a £50 note please. (No religious answers please) Thanks. Garry

Answer 1

The hard fact is that life is intrinsically pointless and you have to find your own meaning. It sounds as if you are deeply self aware and have tried everything to find something that works for you. You have had enough of trite answers from others ("x worked for me so it must work for you") and if even your life coach couldn't figure out what would interest you then I doubt if anyone on here can do it in 5 minutes.

What I would suggest is that if your life feels so useless to you that you want to give it up, then why not live out the remainder of your days making it useful to other people? Not for any altruistic or religious reasons, but simply because if it is no use to you, why not let others get some benefit? Give up your job, walk away from your debts and go teach bookkeeping or mathematics in a third world country. You've got nothing to lose, and you might find someday that this makes you feel that your life is useful after all.

Good luck, whatever you choose to do.

Answer 2

Sounds like a mid life crisis to me. What triggered off all these feelings? There must have been a time when you werent feeling like this. What is different now?
Life can be just one big question live to try and find an answer to them? Or just live! enjoy your life make changes try somthing new. Do things you only dreamed of doing there is so much out there.
Or why not stop thinking about yourself and try to help others?
Friends, family or even a tottal stranger im sure you have alot of life skills and knowlegde that you can pass on.

Answer 3

Why would you ask this question on an open format like this. Baby, you need a goal. Leave your job and go out and enjoy what life you have left. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something good. You don't need $$$ for that. Everyone is in debt Baby. EVERYONE. And, I don't know what a freelance chartered accountant is but if it is adding to your depression, leave it. Walk away and don't look back.

Answer 4

Hi Garry,

I think life is tough for everyone. We put on happy faces in public, but for the most part all of us have unanswered questions.

If you do not have a family to care for, I would suggest leaving behind the career you hate, and joining the Peace Corps or VSO or ... anything you think might break the cycle.

I find that if I concentrate on the happiness of others, I am happier myself.

Answer 5

hey man. this is a big issue. values and life goals are important, and i know how you feel. i'm a lot younger (20) and when i started in college, i was an architecture student. i hated it, and since i planned on being an architect for the previous 4 years, i was entirely lost. so i joined the art program as a graphic designer. i didnt really want to be one, but i didn't know where else to go. i did nothing in school, slacked off, and had no motivation cuz i had no idea what i really wanted. then, i talked to a teacher and started takin an art history class and loved it. now i'm on the road to being an art history professor, and just having a goal that i'm happy with has made me more motivated.

what you should do is start over. you've worked hard in your profession i'm sure, but in the end, you're gonna work a hell of a lot harder at something you like, and will succeed further as a result. also, consider this to be your mid-life crisis, as that's what it sounds like honestly.

you have to find a goal! that's basically what it is. any old goal. ether it's to make a certain amount of money by the end of the month, or something. make it achievable! that is the MOST IMPORTANT THING! dont make it too easy, but make it easy enough. you'll feel much better after meeting this goal.

i have paranoid schizo, and it makes me fear groups of people with a passion. i wanted to fix this because it was driving my fiance crazy! so i made a goal, and that was to go to a club and dance for about 10 minutes ont he dance floor. well, i went to a club, and spent about an hour on the dance floor. it really REALLY bothered me, and i was panicing to no end, but i more than accomplished my goal. and it made me extremely happy, and it made my fiance even happier! so it made me even mor motivated to fix my problem that way.

so set yourself a goal of some kind. achievable, but not stupid and small. also, consider going on antidepressants. i ,for one, dont like to jump to the pill bottle when helping people. but this sounds like a mid-life depression, and should be treated as such.

i would give this on the back of a 50, but i myself am a student and in GREAT debt. but you, my friend, would be who i would send it to if i could.

(p.s. Screw religion...it's only useful when you're healthy, rich, or dead)

if you want to talk to someone, feel free to email me at [e-mail]

hope i helped!

Answer 6

Change your life. You're freelance so can afford to take time off to try other things. Get a new job, start a new activity, move. Make some changes.

Oh and don't look on Yahoo Answers for life advice.

Answer 7

Well you need deeper contact with life - how you go about doing this, well only you can decide.

Goethe said there is greatness in action. Stay on your antidepressants but take the plunge and do something that you think might be enjoyable or make you smile. We're here for a good time, not a long time, remember.

Answer 8

I feel for you, at the mo im so miserable i cant tell you,ive been told im a young pretty woman, with aparantly my whole life ahead of me, still sometimes i want to just top myself! Im too creative to be stuck in the depession of my boring job, and feel like im trapped, meet me down the boozer and we can drown our sorrows!

Answer 9

I can understand your feelings as i have gone through such situation. "Change is necessary for you." It could be a change of any kind in your routine life.

You better make some friend to share your problem. Send an IM message to me if you really want to develop such friendship.

Answer 10

Change careers, we spend so much time at work it can really get you down if you hate what you do. I think we underestimate how our job impacts on our feelings of self worth and how much it actually defines us. I think this would be a good start.