Should bad grades determine involvement in after school sports?

Question

My ex and I have a difference in opinion on this. My 12 year old has always struggled with school. He is very bright but has been diagnosed as ADHD & BiPolar.He recently brought home MORE poor grades and his teacher says that if he would study at home he is more than capable of getting A's and B's. Last marking period he played football & got the bad grades. He wanted to sign up for basketball this marking period but I said no.....until his grades improve and he can show me that he can maintain good grades while playing sports then he wouldn't be able to join. My ex husband thinks it's too strict and thinks that playing sports is good for his self esteem (which I agree) but unless we truly believe he will be picked for a pro sports team when he's older - then I think that academics is most important and sports comes second. Am I wrong

Answer 1

Playing sports is a privilege granted to students who can show they can manage their time well enough to get homework done and study for school. If your child is not getting the grades he should be, he should not be allowed to undertake a highly time consuming outside activity that takes away from his time to work on school work. Once his grades come up he should be allowed to start again. They even do that in college sports where if an athlete's grades drop below a certain level they are suspended from playing.

This reflects the fact that doing well in school and getting into college and finishing college are the biggest factor in allowing you to get a good job. Whatever boost to his self-esteem the football is, it can't counterract the detriment to his self-esteem that doing poorly in school creates.

Answer 2

School work is way more important than what goes on out in the field or on the court. Most after school activities try to promote school grades staying above a C or else be put on probation then being kicked off the team. You were totally right to tell him no school and grades determine how life ends up. How about getting him into after school study groups or tutoring to fill the gap of sports while he works on his grades? It'd help his self esteem and give him a chance to still be apart of something outside of school and home.

Answer 3

There are differenet kinds of intelligences. If one does not do well in school, should they never get to do anything else? I think that is unfair. If your son does his homework and really attempts to stay with the class, then he should be allowed to participate in sports, not everyone can make A's and B's. If he is not doing his work and sitting in class or being a pain in the as$ then no, he should not be rewarded. Kids need somewhere to excel, if you don't want him in sports b/c of school maybe dad could teach him how to fix cars, construction, etc. It is good that you value education as this will teach him to do the same. But, the bell curve shows that not all kids are college material. Give him tools to help him succeed even if college is not in his future.

Answer 4

We have the same problem with our 11yr old son. We refused to allow him to play football this fall because of his final math grade at the end of last year. The trick is to make sure that he understands what is at stake. Do not arbitrarily yank the activity without warning him that it's a possibility & giving him time to reach a predetermined goal. It absolutely worked for us. His math grade is much improved this year so far. He now knows that if it doesn't stay up, he will lose baseball season. Because he is the catcher on his team & loves the sport, It is definately providing incentive.

Answer 5

I think you are absolutly right. Grades should come before extra activities. That can be a huge motivater for a kid to do good in school and then see that they get a reward. I know this might be nuts....but a lot of docs just diagnose kids as ADHD or By Polar and put them on med. when many of the time they dont need it at all. Everyone learns at different paces and different ways but when you are different the doc says your by polar or ADD or ADHD.

Answer 6

Hi. I teach karate to kids of all ages, and when I hear of bad grades, there are certains measures we take at our school to help keep them on the right track. Do the coaches see their report cards? I try to get all of our students to bring in theirs, and there are some rewards in place for those that make the honor roll. The more people in his life that can encourage him, the better he will want to do. I can't speak for other sports programs, but in my experience with ADHD kids, any activity that requires extra focus and concentration can help him. Have you thought of enrolling him in a martial arts program? I've watched C,D,F students make the honor roll many times at our school.(We have close to 300 students elem.,H.S. age) I highly recommend it, if its something he might like to try. Just make sure you find a school that cares about their kids! Hope this helps.

Answer 7

Most schools require at least a C average to participate in sports to begin with.

I believe that school is more important than after school activities and just had this a conversation with one of my daughters. She has two weeks to start turning things around, or we start turning things off.

Answer 8

No, I totally agree with you. In order for a child to be able to do both, he must prove that he is capable of doing it. If he is ever to get a good job in life, make colleges and the such, he has to have good grades. The probability of him going pro are alot less likely with the competition and all. Just work with him and tell him that grades are very important if he is likely to succeed in adult life. Is he on med's for his ADHD and BiPolar? With him being BiPolar, he may need more of an outlet though. Good Luck with whatever you decide to do.

Answer 9

It can go both ways. I would speak with the school counselor and his teachers again to get their feedback on it. Also, as ADHD & BiPolar, he may need special counseling and/or learning tools or techniques. If he's been diagnosed he should have a doctor you can consult with as well.

You may end up having to balance the two. If he finds academics too challenging & uses sports as his main outlet and image builder - it may be vital to keep him in them as you develop better tools to assist him with his education.

Get all the facts before you make a critical decision.

Answer 10

School comes first period. If he can't pull his grades up he shouldn't be rewarded. Would you get a pay raise at work if you can't perform satisfactory? His education is his future. If he is truly trying his hardest you can tell by his conduct and effort, I would get him a tutor. In a nut shell I strongly agree with you.