this child and his mother pull strings and manipulate everything to their advantage. i just found out that my husband is going to have him over christmas break, which means he will have to come to our house and wake up here chrstmas. i dont feel like i owe it to him to be santa because he put me and my family through hell. i know i have to and i will, but the fact is that i dont want to. I allmost lost my kids and went to jail because of a lie he told. and once the lie is over, the hurt and resentment doesnt just go away. i have been in school for 3 years to become a social worker. i have now dropped out because i lost my faith and trust in children. i see now that they arent ALL innocent. some are just mean and enjoy hurting people that love them. i wish i could believe again that i could change the world one child at a time. will i ever?
2006-11-22 02:52:05 · 7 answers · asked by snickerdoodle30 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
dont let any one take ur dreams away u can do anything and u will get ur faith back
2006-11-22 03:20:39 · answer #1 · answered by pg#3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This kid has affected your faith in children. Yes, not all children are innocent and it makes him the one who gives children in the system a bad name! Maybe for Christmas this year (along with being santa) maybe get an adoptive family who doesn't have much and make this kid come with you to do the shopping and such so that they will have a better Christmas. I would like to think that this would some what change his views...but I really don't think you'll even get him to appreciate this much less be a part of it. And as far as your husband allowing this child to come over with his past and what he has done to HIS extended family is beyond me!
2006-11-22 11:36:10 · answer #2 · answered by Mom to Foster Children 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This kid has effected you so much that you gave up 3 years of schooling then he won. Don't give up on your dream (maybe teaching is the way to go, because you learn better how to deal with kids, discipline, etc.). Be strict with this kid, don't let him get away with anything. Seriously consider giving him coal in his Christmas stocking because of his behavior. That honestly may do the trick.
Also consult your husband about this...what is he doing to support you through this? He's your husband now, not hers. Yes, it's his kid, but the Dad is married to you now and should support you over the kid and his mom. It seems like a bad situation all around, but if the kid's mom isn't doing any real parenting then you have to. He's got to have some discipline in his life somewhere.
2006-11-22 11:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You"lost your faith & trust in children". Please look at the purpose of social work with a different perspective. I am not in social work but I do take an interest in the welfare of children. From the first part I decipher that the kid is being used by the mother - she is the evil one. And isn't the purpose of social work to save kids from situations and circumstances brought on by irresponsible and selfish adults that fail at being caretakers. It is sickening to know that there are adults out there with such evil hearts that practice deception on a daily basis - and that is what the children need to be protected from. I see similarities in my husband's ex - but he seems to take a strong stand against any of her shennigans - I hope your husband has some moral fortitude to protect you and your family against any potential harm.
2006-11-22 12:12:47 · answer #4 · answered by susan kb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to work in residential treatment. One thing that I learned about children who are hurting is that they will lashout wherever they see an outlet. Do not lose your faith in children. Children are not born mean spirited, hurtful, and angry. They are created by their upbringing and issues they develop as a result of their living situation. You have every right to express to this young man that the behavior he exhibited before will not be tolerated. You can still change the lives of children. If you still have faith in life and the future, you can change the lives of children one child at a time.
Sounds to me like your step-son has issues of anger. It could be with you, his father, his mom, himself. The only way to get to the root of the problem is to talk to him, and try to get him to open up. The longer the issues he has go unresolved, the longer it will take you and your family to heal from his past indiscretions.
2006-11-22 12:30:02 · answer #5 · answered by Meesh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very sad that you feel this bad toward your step child,Which you should be considering him your child to since you married his dad.This whole situation sounds bad,He is a child and he is probably hurting because he doesn't have his dad full time and when kids want their parents to be back together they will do and say anything to get it.It is sad that he felt like he had to do that to be a part of his dad's life.You have to remember he is a child not an adult and you can't expect him to act like an adult.I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive him and learn to love him.You need to develop a good relationship with him,He will always be a part of your life as long as you are married to his dad.Good luck.
2006-11-22 22:45:21 · answer #6 · answered by crystal powell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is the only way. But if this one child could make you give in then maybe you should look for a different career.
2006-11-22 16:17:38 · answer #7 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋