Whats a good way to defuse someone at family gatherings, thats "pushing your buttons," to get a reaction?

Answer 1

You said it your self, your answer is in the reaction.

Simply choose to not react and look at it this way: What someone else thinks about ourselves, others or situations is none of our business. That way we do not have to include ourselves in their conversation, as it is 'below' us and we are better than that.

To respond to these type of characters, is a choice. This person appears to want to act as the 'energy thief' as they derive pleasure from stealing the power of one other as they themselves have none (plays victim & pity parties). So they take it from those they consciously know will 'react' negatively to them, this is what they want. They are feeling 'low' so in order to get a 'high' they will persist with those 'remarks' they know will get the reaction they are looking for. It is how they gain their self power however, unfortunately when it is taken from a another 'person' and not through our 'higher source' which is our divine connection to our Whole Divine Source....it leaves the person they steal it from feeling empty, gutted and emotionally angry. This anger can remain deep rooted when it is family due to one being invalidated after being targeted for sake of filling ones own socks with ego.

If you choose to not react....they get absolutely nothing from you. Know you are higher than this and engaging with them is futile they do not understand what they are doing, they just do not have faith or belief in themselves...and for that one can only offer empathy. Just smile and stand in your own truth. To have to defend your beliefs or push a point is ego. Spirit knows truth so be the light and stand above the rest.

Blessings be yours in peace & light
Harriett Potty ;)

Answer 2

Well, to tell you the truth, I am telling you this because I am that button pusher at family gatherings.
The target is my "mother", or should I say, the woman who was my biological mother's best friend, ended up marrying my father, and adopting me as an adult barely one year after my biological mother passed away.
To this day I wish she never "adopted"me. Now I have no real relationship with either of them, and with each year that passes my resentment toward her grows exponentially.
So, all I'm saying is, might there be something, oh I don't know, that you could SAY to that person who pushes your buttons? Maybe they have some convoluted grudge like I do.
My wish is that my mother or father, or freakin' anyone in my family, comes to me to really find out "what my problem is."

As you can imagine, anytime I try to talk to them, it ends with her telling me all of the mean things I've done, but they never, ever ask why. Don't be like me.

Answer 3

Oh Gosh, this is the perfect question. I have no idea what the answer is, but I've got that problem too. My sister-in-law has always been a trouble-maker. She's my husband's sister. Her brothers can't stand her either. Now she's into drugs and dating a guy who just got out of prison for holding a 70 year old man down while his buddy slit the guy's throat. Nobody even wants to be anywhere near her during the holidays. It's awful.

Answer 4

Just smile and act like they're not getting to you after all that's what they want. If they get a negative reaction from you, you're the one that looks like the idiot, not the one pushing you're buttons. I've been in this situation before and I just have to keep repeating "rise above it" to myself. You will eventually win this war of the buttons if you can do this.

Answer 5

Any time things get uptight, I try to make a joke of it. It helps to make fun of your self. If someone is making comments about you at your expense, Try saying, " I know I hate that about me" and then laugh it off. Don't attack back because it just causes more fuel to the fire. Remember the guy is a jerk and try not to care what they say. Maybe the person is just very insecure and has to put others down to feel better. So putting yourself down and laughing about it, can ease tension.

Answer 6

Although my first impulse would be to knock the s*1t out of them, I'd probably just make my excuses and leave. You have to be in control of what you do and are responsible for the choices you make. Let the fool act crazy. You be the bigger person and move on.

Answer 7

Ask them if they pissed their pants, and say it rather loudly... finish by saying "you smell of urine".

OR

Just simply laugh at anything they say to you. Laughter is soooooooooo annoying to someone who is wanting to annoy rather than make joyous !!! When the laughing gets to you too just excuse yourself to the bathroom and make some faces in the mirror to lighten your mood then head back out and laugh it up again at their expense.

Remember YOU are in control of you let others make you feel. Do not give in to letting them affect your mood...CHOOSE to be happy and soon they will simply go away.

Answer 8

If you already know what they are going to say just say it with them smile and give them the thubs up good job! Then say your so lame get some new material... They should feel like a dumbass and leave you alone! Or ignore them and after they are finish say oh were you talking to me?

Answer 9

Do the complete opposite of what they expect your reaction to be. If you are normally calm and ignore them, bluntly ask them why, tell them they are annoying, and knock it off. If you react unexpectedly, maybe they will look and feel like a jacka$$.

Answer 10

Say something that will stun the person so badly they'll lay off. It works. It shouldn't be anything offensive, just shocking for the moment. Others will find it funny too : )