my husband's son was in a terrible situation w/his mother. (we thought) He said she was having sex in front of him,locking him out of the house at night,and giving him pills to make him sleep. we took this info. and gained custody. i thought he was adjusting well. his father had to go away on business and while he was gone the childs mother came to see him. to make a long story short, they filed child abuse charges on me. said i only fed my children while he watched, i cursed him and did terrible things! we gave up custody of him although it was determined that there was no evidense to back the allegations. he has sense apologised for what he did, but he wanted to live with his mom again. and she told him that when he was ready to go back with her all he has to do is say i hit him! and they would send me to jail! now i dont let him come to our house, i have other children,i cant risk his stories hurting them. my hus. sees him at his parents. how do i move past this?
2006-11-22 02:22:22 · 8 answers · asked by snickerdoodle30 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Well....he sure has caused some problems for you............The best thing to do is......keep him away from your kids.....hes sound very dysfunctional......keep a peaceful home....and let his mom do the parenting.........if your husband wants to see his son....he'll have to do other things with him........your right about your kids, they shouldn't have to deal with this in their lives...its not Fair to them.........
Maybe over time....things will be better.
2006-11-22 02:29:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never have the child over without a friend or other person around so that if there are allegations, your friend can vouch for you, as well as help control this problem child. It sounds like this kid wants no parents, no control, and will lie to whoever to get what he wants (also based on your other question). He's not your kid, but you're married to his Dad, so you have to be involved. Just be careful and very concious of everything you do around him because you may have to remember exactly what you've said to him later.
2006-11-22 03:07:40 · answer #2 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ain't wrong, this is a nightmare! Let the child live with his mother. If you can help it, maybe it's better if the father goes to his house to see him. You can't have the kid and all that negativity at your house, you have other children to consider and by the sounds of it, they've probably had enough to deal with. I would tell your husband that for now anyway, best he see the child at this mothers place. I hope (and I'm sure ) he will understand. My best wishes to you, i hope it all works out!
2006-11-22 02:33:02 · answer #3 · answered by melfromhell001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, this is a horrible situation! I suggest that you maybe talk to your priest or something. Everything happens for a reason and although I think your step son and his mother need a swift kick in the a s s...it will all work out in the end. Don't give up on him, but just focus on you and your hubby for a while!
2006-11-22 02:43:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to get him conseling or something, and as far as the lies go they will know you didn't do anything to him just try to ignore him the best can so he can't keep trying to get attention, you could also get a small recorder to record phone conversations and stuff i have done that before, i agree kids need their mothers in their life and father, everyone needs to set him down and talk to him about how he's acting and the mother needs to grow up! making him tell lies and stuff is just going to hurt him more in the long run.
2006-11-22 02:39:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A suggestion may be for you to see him but only when you have witnesses to say that you did not lay a hand on him. You do not say how old this boy is but hopefully he is going to be mature soon and get over this way of getting attention for himself. Best of luck to you and it would be a perfect Christmas gift if he was to say sorry and mean it this time. It must put an awful strain on your relationship and his with his step-siblings.
2006-11-22 02:27:13 · answer #6 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family counseling, and make sure he tells any case workers or court officials involved that he was lying to get back to his mother and that you never did all that. Getting something in writing from him might not be a bad idea either.
2006-11-22 02:35:49 · answer #7 · answered by tabithap 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like this child has some issues. Did these lying issues arise after the separation or did they exist before? Either way he needs some counseling to work his way through these emotional problems.
2006-11-22 02:33:01 · answer #8 · answered by Jabberwock 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋