I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 months now and he has asked on twice if I would ever want a threesome. I said no and he understands cause he said he wouldnt want one if I wanted to have a threesome with him and another guy. He says that he loves me, but if thats true why would he wanna sleep with another girl?
2006-11-22 02:17:07 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has had three somes b4 cause his previous gf's were bi and he doesnt just wanna watch if i do say yes, which would not happen. He says he accepts it but he says he just wants it to be an "experience" for the "both" of us.
2006-11-22 02:31:20 · update #1
He likes the fantasy...and if truth be told, we all have our own fantasies..there is nothing wrong with that. But most times fantasies are best kept to ourselves...it rarely serves any one well to share them with our partner.
What IS definitely wrong is if he keeps asking you once you've told him no. Let him know it bothers you and that you find the question disrespectful to you AND your relationship. If he really loves you he will understand that and learn to keep his fantasies to himself.
If he keeps asking, he may not be the guy to plan your future with hun.
xoxoxo
2006-11-22 02:25:05 · answer #1 · answered by Shakira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last question in your details gives your false understanding: you think that the only way a guy would want to have sex with a girl is if he loves her. That's where you're wrong. Most guys (and honestly some women) can want to have sex with someone for a variety of reasons. How many of your friends have ever said they would want to date a movie star? Or that a singer or whatever is "so hot"? Even when they had a boyfriend? Same thing! If you don't want to have a threesome, that's fine, don't. But don't try to read more into the question than what is there. You'll just end up with a guy who's afraid to ask "Please pass the mustard" becasue he's not sure what you'll read into it.
2006-11-29 07:12:19 · answer #2 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend and you are on two different wave lengths. He seperates love and sex, and it would appear for you they are one-and-the-same. He can have sex with another woman and it doesn't mean he loves you less or that the sex is less special with you. It is just sex and nothing more with the other woman.
My wife and I have been swingers for several years and this is a key point. We have sex with others, we make love to each other. Sex between us is on a whole different level than the sex we have with others. This is because we are in love with each other.
Sex with others is kind of like a one night stand. If you've ever had one you know it's different than sex when you are in love with someone. One is physical lust and the other is emotional.
Including more people into your life like that is something that when done right, is done FOR the couple, not for just one member of it. It is something both of you want to experience TOGETHER in the safety of your relationship. Done right it can greatly enhance your relationship.
Although I would say four months together is too short a period of time to really have that couple bond that you develop with years together, the fact that your boyfriend said he wouldn't do it if you don't want to shows he respects your feelings. And I agree, if he isn't willing to give you the same (a MFM for his FMF) than you shouldn't go there at all. Even if you never did a MFM, the option has to be open. The door has to swing both ways or someone is going to get resentful and their feelings are going to get hurt.
2006-11-27 10:05:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might not be every man's fantasy, but to at least 95% of men it is. Yes, we are pigs. Plus it has to be two women, preferably your hot best friend, never another guy. Never give in, because if you do, he will always expect you to find him more women. Let him know if he asks again the relationship is over.
2006-11-22 02:38:07 · answer #4 · answered by drewbear_99 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So far all of these answers have been women, so this is a fresh perspective. If you are not comfortable with trying this, then make that clear. If you're the one for him, he will accept it. If the thought has crossed your mind too, then by all means give it a try. It may be a very rewarding experience for everyone involved.
2006-11-22 02:22:39 · answer #5 · answered by Jeremy B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's really that he wants to sleep with another girl. It just sounds like he just wants to see YOU with another girl. Meaning he just wants to sit back and watch, not actually be a big part in the event.
2006-11-22 02:26:52 · answer #6 · answered by Snow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just testing you to see what you'd say. Like you said he wouldn't want it the other way around. Guys are naturally perverted and he'd probably be shocked if you said yes.
2006-11-22 02:21:08 · answer #7 · answered by cowgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any man who asks you this question after only 4 months is not to be trusted. Wake up.
2006-11-22 02:19:51 · answer #8 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes some maturity on both parts to handle that situation.
If you think you would enjoy it, tell him you want to start with him and another man. THEN you can let him have you and another woman.
Let us know the details.
2006-11-22 02:25:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two is good, Three is better! The more the merrier[within reason of course]!
2006-11-22 02:20:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋