sister and her kids...uggghhhhh?

Question

I babysat my sisters 2 kids... a 2 and a half girl and 7 year old boy...the girl has to go to sleep with 2 pacifiers..one in her hand and one in her mouth and a juice cup, has to be read too and held and will not go to bed before 930 pm...then she wakes up at 2 am and will crawl in her parents bed and go to sleep..the 7 yr old boy will not sleep without the tv on. .to me, its just ridicilious!!!! my kids are 8 years old, a girl and a 9 month old boy and my kids will never sleep with me and my fiancee and let them run our lives. the other night, my 9 month old son cried in the middle of the night, i left him alone and he went back to bed within 5 minutes. please tell me nobody does what my sister and her husband do with their kids???

the reason i am complaining is cuz i helped my dad babysit my sisters kids and it was a nightmare being woken up at 2 am by a 2 year old...my son is 9 months old and does not wake me up

i had to help my father as he is hard of hearing....i do give my sister advice but she does not listen to me

then the 2 year old will blame my daughter or her brother for hitting her and she will get away with it. its not fair and yes, i have spoken up but they always say to rachelle, the 2 year old...you are such a sweetie when she is a brat

i know my sister is frustrated with the kids behaviour cuz the minute her husband comes home from work, she will leave for a few hours...but she does nothing about it

Answer 1

I definitely don't agree with how your sister handles her kids. They have her wrapped around their fingers! These days most parents have no backbones and will let their kids do almost anything just so they don't have to hear them whine and complain. What they don't realize is, the whining and complaining goes away once the kids figure out life doesn't always go their way. You seem to have a much better head on your shoulders regarding parenting. Keep up the good work with your own kids!

Answer 2

Every child can be different even if it is raised in the same house as other kids...my first two kids who are almost 9 and 7 have always slept good and were not that difficult,they had their moments but you could reason with them but my 3 year old drives me nuts he never wants to sleep he wakes up in the middle of the night and sleeps on the floor he has tantrums all the time,he is just plain difficult .I have tried everything in the book and he is so hard to parent sometimes and i am very firm with my kids but he tests authority like crazy.I just stay consistant and hope he will ease up soon.Having two or three kids that behave does not mean the fourth or even the tenth will be the same way.Two kids is not a big number so the chance of having a monster child is lower.By the way my one year old...also an angel so like they say every family has a crazy one.

Answer 3

I believe in picking up a crying baby. If they are tired enough they will return to sleep, but then it could have been a wet/poopy diaper and if you leave them in it they can get a nasty rash. Would YOU want to have a nasty diaper on?

Anyway, I run the TV when I sleep too. So what?

Two year olds are known to climb into bed with mom & dad. It's really a cultural thing that we have in the west to keep our kids away at bedtime. It's a debatable topic and your sister is probably on the other side of the debate from you.

If you don't want to babysit them anymore, you have a right to choose not to do it. But don't judge your sister and her husband for her behavior.

What's this about sleeping with your fiancee? Some people believe that's a sin too. Do you want everyone judging you about that?

Best Wishes,

Sue

Answer 4

I have a 7 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. They have a TV in their room. They watch it until 8:30 on school nights but they can watch it all night on weekends. Also if my 4 year old son gets up in the middle of the night he crawls into our bed. It IS annoying but I have been unable to change it. If you have any suggestions let me know. Maybe instead of b*tching about it you could talk to your sister and give her some ideas? Just a thought. Good luck. If it bothers you so much don't watch her kids. I know she would rather you not watch them if that is how you feel.

Answer 5

Well, my sister lets my 4 yr old niece sleep with the t.v. on and lets her go upstairs all by herself watching t.v. I told her, all she needs is a night light. They have the t.v. on for light because they are scared of the dark, that's how I was. I believe pacifers are wrong for a child over a yr, it can cause tooth decay. I don't like pacifiers, plus a 2 yr old drinking juice at night???? What is she thinking, more tooth decay there. The children are spoiled and your sister doesn't know what to do, she lets them get away with anything and one day she will snap on them and do something. Don't put pressure on her, just let her have your help. My sister doesn't model after me, which I pray for, she just smacks her children around and is a bad mom, but if you think your sister is a good mom, but needs help please help her. Send the pacis away

Answer 6

The thing is that htey have gotten them into bad sleeping and bedtime habits. It is now going to need perseverance and some patience and determination aswell as upset to get them into a more structured and healthier pattern.
It may be that your sister has done it for an easier life, though seems harder to me, so that she hasnt gotta get up and deal with it.
My 2 and a half year old only comes in with us if she is poorly. She takes herself up to bed most nights to "read" to herself and her teddies. She does take a drink with her though. We then go and tuck her in after a while and put the light out.
They are both using "things" to get to sleep be it the tv or a cuddle. I found the best time to drop the pacifier was when she was full of a cold as she couldnt breathe through her nose she wasnt using it, then we carried on by saying it was up to her to remember it when we went out and that we couldnt find one as she was loosing them. Only took about 4 nights for her to stop asking for them.
Its your sisters and her partners choice how they bring up their kids, however I think its a rod for their backs and sooner than later it will come and bite them on the bum.

Answer 7

Each parent has the right to make their own parenting decisions.
Just like you have made choices in how to deal with your children, so does your sister. If she is happy with it, and the kids are well loved and happy then that's that!
She could probably make some similar statements about your parenting style!!
There are many people who have a "family bed" or "co-sleep" with their children. It works for many families and doesn't for others.

Answer 8

My sisters 10 year old still gets up at night and wants to crawl in bed with mommy! The only suggestion that I have for you is to not babysit at night.

Answer 9

She is spoiling them. It happens a lot actually, especially when kids are younger.

I don't think the TV is so bad, I had a TV when I was that age, mostly because I had such a fear of the dark. A TV with a sleep timer worked gerat for me when I was younger.

It sure does take an aweful lot of work to get the younger child to bed though!!!

Answer 10

I can understand your frustration. Other peoples children have a tendency to raise my blood pressure. Ask your self this... are they healthy and well mannered, if they are then its really is OK. Every parent has different ways of going about, as long as the end result is healthy loving human beings, this really isn't a problem. Just gently give her your opinion then drop it, If she ever needs advice about the matter, she'll know where to turn to receive good advice with out feeling defensive. Good luck.