my daughters behaviour.. any suggestions please!?

Question

she was such a sweet little girl (sigh) but lately it seems like she cares nothing about her belongings, to the point where I am now making her throw away things that havent been put away.. sounds harsh i know but its honestly im at my wits end, like she just doesnt give a monkeys. The way she speaks to me is abominable and i dont let her get away with it, she gets told off then if it happens again she gets sent out of the room, ive tried praising her for being good and ignoring her bad behaviour but shes just horendous! is there such a thing as terrible 7's!?

Answer 1

YES! an it lasts til about 10. I am in the childcare industry professionally and I would give a whopping 80% of the girls this age have the same behavior. Not all their actions are aimed at you and it probably doesnt have anything to do with you. At this age, they are arguing with their friends because they want everyones full attention and they will do just about whatever comes into their little minds to be "it"! Its just a phase, it will pass, but usually, it takes til about 91/2 or 10. HANG IN THERE!!!!!!

Answer 2

Honey, its just a phase. I remember going through that phase, but I was around 10 or 11 yrs old. My mother did the same thing that you're doing...she would make me throw away my belongings that I kept on the floor. Its not harsh, eventually shell learn that she need to take better care of her things. Are you spending enough time with your daughter? That was the reason why I acted out. My mom was always working, so by the time she got home she was way too tired to tend to me. Take her to a movie over the weekend or maybe even rent some movies and pop some popcorn.

*Dont ignore the bad behavior...it will only get worse. Sit her down and have a talk with her, ask her why she feels her bad behavoir is acceptable. She'll tell you!

Answer 3

Children at this age are very susceptible to peer pressure and are still learning/growing, everyday. Maybe she is 'trying things out'. Why not sit down with her (if it has passed this stage - try to write a letter to her) and explain how you feel when this happens. Ask her how she feels when she behaves like this. It may simply be a bad habit she has got into. But habits at this age are not set in stone. Concrete can be ripped up, but she probably doesn't have the tools. But you do. Maybe some one on one quality time together would help subsequent to the 'talk'. Also there's the 'holding the stone' conversation. When you are holding the stone - you talk. When she is holding the stone - you talk. No interruptions. Remember - respect her and it is likely that she will learn to respect you back. Mind you, it's not an overnight remedy - it all takes time. But the biggest oak trees take a long time to grow from little acorns. Good luck. Be strong and keep focused. Oh yes - almost forgot - if you are violent to her, she will ultimately develop a violent personality in adult life and physically hurt others close to her. These kind of parenting is wrong and should never be encouraged. Try to ignore some of the previous comments with regard to physically punishing her. It is the wrong approach. All you will do is alienate her and cause long-term psychological damage.

Answer 4

It could be she is mixing with other children who talk to adults and each other in the same way or she could be having a problem with a friend or school. Try arranging a chat with her teacher and see if they have noticed a change at school or ask if they can keep an eye out for any bullying. All kids are lovely till they start school and always pick up other kid's bad habits and not the good ones. As for her stuff, put into a box or laundry bin and leave till she decides to look for something and has to sort it out.

Answer 5

I worked at a school for kids with behavioral problems. Some of the kids at the school were as young as 7 and were as dangerous as the high schoolers.

DON'T let this go any farther or you will have a dangerous teen on your hands.

Make precise rules and post them on your refrigerator. Each rule comes with a consequence if broken. Go over them with your child, and if she breaks the rules you must have the guts to enforce the rules. Standing in a corner only works for kids up to the age of 3, and leaving the room works to about age 5. Start taking away priviledges and things she likes (computer time- 1 day intervals, iPods, TV, telephone).

Answer 6

To the person who wrote: "Sounds like you need a spanking paddle", that behaviour will only add to the problem. Hopelessness and pain will be created in a 7 year old child who is being hit by her parents because she may be a bit disruptive. I recommend that for all the children who are spanked to give it right back to their parents when they get to about 16 or large enough to defend themselves. If their parents disagree or make their life difficult, punch their lights out. It is what they were taught and in the teaching is the evidence of righteousness.
Shame on you.

Answer 7

you have just lost control; sit her down and tell her about the children in the world who don't have things, this time of the year is a good time to make shoebox presents for the poor children in the world, get a shoe box fill it with things she no longer wants .eg pencils crayons small books ribbons hair grips nail-varnish, soap flannel tooth paste , make it a little project the you can do together, don't get her to through toys away take them to a charity shop .make a poster reward for good behaviour and a point off for bad, even if you have to council a trip out at the weekend if you say you are going to do it then do it, don't shout at her this dose not work,she is after a reaction from you even if it is a negative one..

Answer 8

Well just try and talk to her about it... girls have to change sometime... tell her that it doesn't make you happy the way she treats you and you'd rather her not say anything to you if she doesn't have anything nice to say... making her throw away everything she leaves out will only make her behavior worse, though you shouldn't give her what she wants... Keep it from her until she says she's sorry.. but you have to tell her that she has to apoligize cause it's not kind and that she shouldn't leave her things around, because if she does leave her things around she'll have to apoligize for it and never do it again. Do NOT ignore bad behavior... she probably just wants more attention.. take her to fun places if she's done something good... then she'll want to do it more if you take her to the movies, to swim, to ice skate.... kids love that kind of stuff.. i hope i helped somewhat! ^.^

Answer 9

I've got a 5 year old like that. When I threaten to throw his toys away he shrugs picks em up and puts them in the bin himself. I once gave him the choice to tidy the mess or i would send him to his room. He looked at me and said 'I'll go to my room then'.

He is a battle everyday bless him. But I do watch supernanny and then realise my little terror is an angel in comparison. You just gotta find their button.

The older one i threaten to take his psp off him and that normally works. I also created a wall chart that they could move up a space every time they tidied up after them and when they reached the top they would have a treat. The oldest wanted a football book. So they had a goal to work at. (They do revert back to old ways after, but it works for a while - or maybe i just didn't bother with it after there first treat).

You can download free kids charts from

http://www.freebehaviorcharts.com/charts.htm

Answer 10

Has there been any change in her environment or routine? It has been suggested that she being bullied at schoonl, I think, that could be a possibility.
Or maybe she is bored. Some gifted children need challenges, a hobby they embrace, etc. to keep them from getting destructive. Maybe you can assess her with an educational psychologist, she might aswell be too bored because things are too easy for her, good luck!