trying to pick his pals?

Question

My son is a happy bright 7 yr old , but has chosen to be friends with some boys in his class that are how do i say "on the wild side". He often tells me about trouble theyve been in at school fighting swearing (swearing at the teacher !) kicking balls at windows ect . Recently one of these lads has been coming in for him after school and when they go out i dread what they are getting up to. We only moved to the area recently and he doesnt know many children i think he,s excited someone wants to be his friend.ive tried saying "why dont you play with wee billy he,s a nice lad" but no , he tells me he,s got friends he likes and they have great fun (its the kind of fun that worries me!) I know everyone thinks their own children are fine but he really is a good wee lad thats never been in trouble(that i know of anyway) what do i do? id hate him to start getting into trouble just to stay in the gang.any ideas or similar experiences would be appreciated.

i didnt mean "my" son is swearing at teachers and fighting ,he tells me the boys he plays with do this.i just dont want him doing this to try and keep the friendship of these boys. im not saying these boys are "bad" just a bit wild and a lot more streetwise than my son.

Answer 1

Try being open with him and guiding him to realize that his friends are not really friends at all. He needs to figure it out for himself but of course with a little help from you. Be open with him and try not to get upset. Discuss what types of activities these friends do and ask him whether he thinks it's right or not. Ask him if he thinks it's ok to swear at teachers and if it's ok to kick windows and get into fights. Ask him how he would feel if he were the one getting beaten on and sworn at. Guide his thoughts with questions without forcing any ideas upon him. Hopefuly this will make him realize what kind of people he's hanging out with and make him realize that he doesn't want to be that kind of person. Patience and a little openess will hopefully guide him in the right direction. Good luck.

Answer 2

If you're new to the area try finding cubs/scouts or swimming/football club locally that way you can introduce new people without making it obvious that you're not impressed with the other kids.

In the mean time are you in a position to have the kids in to your house so that you can supervise (on the softly softly to start with) and keep an eye on what they're up to? Maybe you could have a small pre-Christmas party and invite their Moms too-never hurts to know a bit of family background I find.

It's difficult I know but try not to be anti these kids because you know that he'll dig his heels in if you make ultimatums-and at the minute he's telling you stuff that they're doing not hiding what he's done by the sounds of it.

Answer 3

it's unfortunately a phase they go though ive witnessed it a few times with my cousins...and eventually will witness it when my daughters get to that stage one is my step daughter the other my eldest i birthed lol , it is mild when they get to 7 but it is more of a trouble when they reach 13 or 14 dont let it bother you too much let your son know what is right what is wrong and let him make up his own mind

Answer 4

Can you get to know the parents of the kids in question to maybe reassure you that they're not really so bad?

Answer 5

I HAVE YOUNG CHILDREN ..THE CHILDREN YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT ARE 7 YEAROLDS SO WHAT KIND OF TROUBLE CAN THEY BE GETTING INTO..KNIFE FIGHTS IN THE PLAYGROUND DRUG TAKING..I THINK NOT.REMEMBER BACK TO WHEN YOU WERE THAT AGE ..WE ALL GOT A BIT BOISTEROUS SOMETIMES..AND THERE WILL BE CHILDREN LIKE THE ONES YOU TALK ABOUT IN EVERY CLASS HE JOINS ..SO DO YOU KEEP MOVING HIM .I THINK NOT..AND WHO'S TO SAY THAT YOUR SON IS NOT INSTIGATING THE HIGH JINX..THINK ABOUT IT.WE ALL THINK ARE CHILDREN ARE SAINTS..BUT THAT'S NOT ALWAYS TRUE

Answer 6

He wont get in trouble as long as he only smokes dope in the woods