I'm a twenty-eight year old guy who was in the only real relationship of his life for six years (which ended in 2004). Now, there is someone else on my radar, and I don't know if she's interested in me, or how to show her I'm interested in her. I'm a nice looking guy, but still lack self-confidence from when I was extremely overweight as a teenager. Somehow, I can't help but feel like I'm going to be rejected, and the thought simply paralyzes me. Any help anyone (especially female) can provide would be greatly appreciated. Again, I AM twenty-eight years old. This means I really am not interested in answers from teenagers, or silly, cheesy answers (that said, I'm sure to get one). What I'm saying is I know what doesn't work. I want to know what does. Thank you.
2006-11-22 01:52:01 · 11 answers · asked by ringthechains666 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i'm 23 and can tell you honesty is always best. i like flirting but if i know a guy is interested i make it pretty obvious i am too but most women are not like that so you will just have to walk up to her start making small talk and try and read her body language to see if she's interested in you. then just ask her, if she says no she's in a relationship believe her, its nothing against you. if she says yes then you're in! i really think all the game playing/flirting without making it clear that you're interested in someone is a waste of time and you miss so many great opportunities. as far as your past and the overweight issue, i understand i have a sister who has struggled for yrs. with this and she went through a divorce several yrs ago and that really damaged her ego further. she felt like no one would ever want her but the thing is there are many men who prefer larger women. i tend to be on the thinner side not skinny but more slender and have been out at clubs with my sis and there are just as many men who hit on her as they do me. the difference i think is confidence plain and simple, she went through alot got some counseling and came to grips with who she really is and accepted it in doing that she overcame it and many men find that more attractive that she's confident and sure of herself and really comfortable with herself. you need to understand that no matter what weight you are you are still attractive and that you're a good person, witty and intelligent and have a lot to offer. even beautiful ppl get rejected (just look at all the stars lately getting divorced) so its nothing personal and being rejected is not necessarily bad it may well save you from a really bad relationship. bottom line you will never know if this woman is the one unless you talk to her and pursue it, if she isn't interested then you know she's not for you. try not to let the past control your future (the overweight teenager thing) recognize that this is an issue with you that you let it control your actions probably in all aspects of your life but especially dating. once you recognize the problem its easier to deal with, now its time to put it all behind you, what you are in the past is not as important as what you are today and understand that all the bad stuff in your past has made you the person you are today, be thankful for the good and the bad. you sound like a really nice guy and i can tell you although women fall for a bad guy at least one time in their lives they are searching for someone just like you. i really hope you act on this, you just never know who is waiting and wanting to meet you and if you don't do something about it then you are guaranteed to never know if she's the one for you. go for it...because the worst thing that could happen is she's already taken then you will know for sure and can move on. good luck, hang in there and don't live in the past , learn from it otherwise you are doomed to repeat it.
2006-11-22 02:07:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the situation you are with this woman. Have you ever spoken to her, does she know you well, etc.?
If you've spoken to her before and aren't comfortable with flirting, let her flirt with you. If a woman is interested she will make the first move. Now, if the both of you are shy someone will have to give and take a little here.
I know it might sounds childish but if you can't find the words to tell her how you feel, write her a letter. She will appreciate the gesture and once the ice is broken, I'm sure you will hit it off.
Bottom line, try to feel more comfortable with yourself and try not too worry too much in advance. If you ask her out, the worst she can say is no and you can chalk it up as experience. Life is full of ups and downs, just buckle up for the ride and you'll be just fine.
Good luck with everything, hope it works out for you!
2006-11-22 01:58:13 · answer #2 · answered by Minouners 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 25 and my problems are very much like yours in this sense. Now a days girls are more into a guy that can challenge them mentally, as well as be pleaseing on the senses. If she starts talkin trash and trying to get in a verbal battle or a battle of wits, the best idea is to run with it like she was one of your friends. Don't go overboard and insult her or anything. At first it seems like she's putting you down, but that's one aspect of flirting that I totally messed up with. I'm all gentlemanly when it comes to women, so that always threw me off and I'd think she was just being a jerky hater. Try not to make the same mistake, and confuse playful flirting with insulting. Good luck.
2006-11-22 02:02:13 · answer #3 · answered by Johnny Afman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 31 years old female. I assume the girl you like is around your age? Is she on your social circle? If she is, try to get as much opportunities as possible to interact with her until you get to know her pretty well. You can compliment her on what she is wearing or if you notice a change on her hairstyle and things like that (women like those things) but overall, be natural. She will be the one letting you know she likes you by smiling in a particular way, by approaching you, etc. Nevertheless, don't be afraid to ask her out in a casual way...you know, not making it sound like a *real* date. Let us know the results! ;)
2006-11-22 01:59:21 · answer #4 · answered by Cami 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't really have anyone tell you how to flirt. What works for one person, doesn't mean it'll work for another. What did you do to get that girl in the past relationship... you must have done something right when you got her :]
2006-11-22 01:55:38 · answer #5 · answered by uhd0rableo8 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. SMILE at her. Be friends with her. And the number one way to be with her...ask her out. I know, it takes a lot of confidence, but if she likes you and is too shy to ask you herself, she will be overjoyed!! A way to make it a little easier...write her a note, email, IM, etc. Its easier not face to face. Good luck!!
2006-11-22 01:57:49 · answer #6 · answered by missmiranda212 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I just got banned from the local swimming baths just because the f###ing letter S came off my speedo trunks
2016-03-29 05:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rejection is a part of life..how many interveiws b4 getting a job
life is taking risk,,cuz if u dont get over this hurdle you wont get anywhere
2006-11-22 01:56:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just look at her like if you know her smile if she smile back ask her for her number and if she gives it to you then call her and ask her for a date. good luck
2006-11-22 01:59:42 · answer #9 · answered by nancy o 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2006-11-22 01:54:23 · answer #10 · answered by oompah loompah hahaha i93huir38r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋