My boyfriend is completelty stressed out and I think he is about to walk out of my life. I made the mistake of bringing him to live with me and my parents and now he hates it there. He tells me he does not know why he is there anymore and even though he does say it, I know he wants to leave. He has told me before that he would never leave without me but I think this time he wants to move and not take me with. I try my best to help him out and do what I can to calm him down but I feel what I'm doing is not good enough anymore. I don't even know if he is happy with me anymore. He says he loves me but never shows it like he used to and does not smile like he used to either. What do I do?? I'm in love with him but I think I might have to make him leave or he is going ot loose his mind..... HELP!!!!!
2006-11-22 01:45:48 · 8 answers · asked by Care Bear 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was in a similar situation where I lived with my wife's family for a while before we got married. Her parents are amazing, but her brothers were the laziest bunch of a**es I'd ever laid eyes on. I was the only person cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, shovelling the snow, washing the dishes, etc, etc. When in their house, I always felt that being the outsider, it was an obligation of mine to help out whenever possible.
It's tough to say in your situation as you don't mention where the problems are coming from. My wife was always worried that I would leave her because of her family, but I told her that I was with her because of her, and that her family would not change my mind, no matter how frustrated / angry they made me. We moved out of the house shortly after the wedding and I was much happier for it.
Maybe your bf feels that he has no privacy, is trapped in a situation where everything he does gets scrutinized, and can't really relax or be himself. When I go home, I want to sit back and do anything I want, but being in someone else's house just doesn't give me the flexibility to do that.
You need to talk to him and see what he is thinking. If you don't know why he's upset/unhappy, you need to find out. Maybe moving out is the only way to change things for him. It did me and my wife wonders.
2006-11-22 01:54:19 · answer #1 · answered by tipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, believe it or not, you may be making him angrier by doing more for him.
He already lives with you and your parents, which means he's probably taken a hit to his 'male pride'
He may feel the need to 'provide for himself' to make hiimself feel like a man, and if you and your parents are doing everything for him, you instead make him feel like a boy, because he isn't 'providing as a man should'
On the other hand, if anyone in the household is disrespectful towards him, then that coud be driving him crazy as well. having to come home everyday to a place where you dont feel comfortable is enough to drive ANYONE insane.
My suggestion would be to ASK him what he would want. (whether that means living alone, living alone with you, continuing to live there but taking more responsibilities so that he feels like a man, etc.) and go from there.
He says he loves you, and he might actually mean it, but keep in mind that he may be saying that because he doesn't want to get kicked out of the house either
2006-11-22 10:11:42 · answer #2 · answered by Mister 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to let him go. I know this is hard but girl there are so many men and so little time. You will find someone out there that loves you and wants to stay with you. It you're having all these questions now believe me you'll have so many more if he stays and is a miserable as you make him out to be. Not even smiling anymore...how incredibly sad. I say, Let him go.
2006-11-22 09:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by smango59 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living with anothers family is very stressful, and uncomfortable. He is feeling trapped, and not over you persay, but with the situation itself. He is going to need his space. Best suggestion, help him out in finding other living conditions.
2006-11-22 09:49:08 · answer #4 · answered by Kris p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you haven't been observant enough in the past, this guy did NOT, does NOT, and will NOT love you genuinely. Please get this right, if love is NOT there, it's NOT there. So stop wasting your time to persuade him to stay and so forth. Ironically, you'll find out that the more you do this, the harder he'll become and the more frustrated you'll become.
2006-11-22 09:53:11 · answer #5 · answered by mykemejeje 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try to find a cheap(but nice!) apartment for him, and then, when the time is right, you can move in with him.
2006-11-22 09:51:13 · answer #6 · answered by chincoteaguecowgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make someone love you. Let him go
2006-11-22 09:55:52 · answer #7 · answered by Snuffy Smith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make ur parents and urself happy..send him to a homeless shelter
2006-11-22 09:48:35 · answer #8 · answered by native,pride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋