Lawyer goes to heaven?

Question

A lawyer died. At the same moment, the Pope also died. They arrived at the gates of heaven at the same moment. They spend the day in orientation, and as they're getting their heavenly vestments, the Pope gets a plain white toga and wings, like everyone else, and the lawyer gets much finer apparel, made of gold thread, and Gucci shoes.

Then, they get to see where they're going to live. The Pope gets what everyone else gets, a replica of a Holiday Inn room, and the lawyer gets an 18 room mansion with servants and a swimming pool.

At dinnertime, the Pope receives the standard meal, a Manischewitz kosher TV dinner, and the lawyer receives a fine and tasty meal, served on silver platters.

By this time, the lawyer is beginning to suspect that an error has been made, so he asks one of the angels in charge, "Has there been some kind of mistake? This guy was the Pope, and he gets what everyone else gets, and I'm just a lawyer and I'm getting the finest of everything?"

The angel replied, "No mistake, sir. We've had lots of popes here, but you're the first lawyer we've ever had."

Answer 1

Thanks, that was funny.


This is my favourite joke.

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

This is my second favourite joke.

George W Bush, back when he was a "drinking man", walked into a bar.

He ordered five beers and drank them all down.

He then ordered four beers and proceeded to drink them as well.

With a confused look on his face, he stared down at the empty beer bottles in front of him.

He ordered another three beers and finished them of as before.

Now he looked really confused.

Looking around in bewilderment, he cautiously ordered another two.

The bartender, curious at the young George W's confusion asked him what was the matter, to which George W replied 'I don't know what's going on but, the less beers I drink, the more drunk I get'.

Answer 2

You Keep Droppin Duds Mate, Every One Knows A Lawyer Will Never Make It To Heaven Let Alone A Pope. Have A Gooday Mate And Please Try To Find Some Original Material.

Answer 3

Ha ha ha. Why are you asking this question. It relies upon on the class like most of the criminal legal specialists bypass to hell..... Lol . It doesnt relies upon . they're only doing there artwork thats all. It relies upon on thier sin. there is not any place observed as hell or heaven.

Answer 4

Good joke, but not very original...I don't remember how many times I've heard that one.

Answer 5

Hahahaha...good one. =)

Answer 6

Ha ha... funny

Answer 7

only if they're half-dog

Answer 8

Very Very good joke. LOL. thanks for the laugh this morning.

Answer 9

ha!

Answer 10

thats awesome!!! and probably true!!!