I have a "friend" who I lent $200 to about 1 month ago. I asked about a week after that when he though he would be able to pay. He got furious with me. I explained that I was only asking for a date not the payment and he explain that I shouldn't be asking.
A month later I asked again, this time specifying that Im looking for a date and he still gets furious. He goes on to explain that I said "to pay it back when he can" and I reminded him that he said "I'll pay you back when I get paid" fair enough.
It will be alittle over a month now and I know he has been paid. I've seen the checks and he also been out to the bars and stuff.
So why is he getting mad? It can't be right. I can see I'm not getting my money back even though it was to help him out. And thats not right.
2006-11-22 00:51:00 · 18 answers · asked by lor3d 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Mind this that I'm only asking for a date of when he could pay it back. Which he misinterprets as a demand. And yes I did lend him the money because he said he would pay it back when he got paid from him new job. I think he should be telling me it should be any of these coming weeks or something, but he not even saying that.
2006-11-22 01:12:47 · update #1
true friends dont worry about money, keeping tabs, because one day they might help you in such a way that you could never repay them
2006-11-22 00:53:40 · answer #1 · answered by gazooks 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
this kind of situation is why I never lend anyone money, and if I am conned into lending them money it will only be a small amount. I lent someone $350. Two years later they still owe me around $150, but I've pretty much kissed this money goodbye and chalked it up to experience.
when and how they were going to pay you back should of been discussed when you gave them the money. You are entitled to ask when you're getting your money back, especially as it's been over a month. ask them if they could start paying you back maybe $50 a week? Or try borrowing money off them until it reaches $200, and never lend money again without working out EXACTLY when you will be paid back.
2006-11-22 01:13:05 · answer #2 · answered by arcanehex 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you lend money to friend always do it knowing that there is a chance you won't get it back. and the only reason he's getting mad at you is because he wants you off his back, not something a friend would do, so you go and tell him you need the money NOW you have to pay your bills.Tell him in the morning and tell to bring you the money by the end of the day. And if he starts make 101 excuses you know this guys not going to make good on it. and lesson learned Never give money out your not willing to lose it.
2006-11-22 01:33:12 · answer #3 · answered by Lara <:(((>< 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are short of money, you should not have lent him in the 1st place unless you treat the lending as a part and parcel credit of life.
let it go.
he will return you when the time is ripe.
i had lent my friends money and vice versa.
realised better not lend money to friends unless you can wait indefinitely for at least a few years or more before he or she returns you.
else, if he or she returns you early, you should not take it for granted.
either way lending or not, you must know that money goes round the world and 1 day part of it should come back to you after 1 or many trips around the earth.
ask your other friends for help financially or your family or other sources.
put your shoes into the friend's shoes you lent money to.
he will gladly reciprocate to you once he settles his problems if he still treats you as a friend and you should too still treat him as a friend.
good luck!
mercury of love
2006-11-22 01:07:22 · answer #4 · answered by mercury of love 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to pay you back and is trying to deflect you away from your original question by accusing you.....never ever lend this idiot money again! I highly doubt you'll get the money back unless you outright DEMAND it and threaten to take him to small claims (which you can only do if you have proof that you lent it). Otherwise use it as a lesson never to lend money without a written IOU or better yet...never to lend money at all.
2006-11-22 02:44:53 · answer #5 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and demand the money immediately. Offer to hold the check until he gets paid, then once you know for sure he's had a paycheck, cash it. That way he can keep the money a little longer, and you're garaunteed what you deserve, maybe not immediately but in at least a week or 2. Don't lend this friend money any more.
2006-11-22 00:58:43 · answer #6 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
he shouldnt get mad. you did him a favor now all ur asking is for a slight favor in return (cant really be a favor since its owed to u) a bank wouldnt stand for that type of response when waiting for a loan to be paid back. and neither should u. tell him by a certain date u will need the money back. (if u know when he gets paid make the next day) if u feel u need a reason to justify this (which u dont) then say u are going christmas shopping. if you still cant get the money back then start accepting gifts/freebies. a drink here, dinner there until u feel like its all been paid back
2006-11-22 00:55:46 · answer #7 · answered by jenivive 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm afraid you are in the process of learning a painful lesson. Your "friend" obviously has no intention of repaying your loan. The tantrum he throws when you ask about reimbursement is a tactic designed to distract you and change the subject. If he really cared about you or your feelings you would already have your money back. You are not without recourse, however. Ask all of your common acquaintances to remind this person of their debt and their promise. Your money is gone, but this person will be unable to abuse the generosity of others.
2006-11-22 19:01:22 · answer #8 · answered by datamonkey0031 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, these situations often lead to hard feelings between friends. Always better not to loan or borrow among friends when it can be avoided. With no secure arrangements in advance, if the friendship is important to you, I think you have to let him do it in his own time. You might be able to try one more tactic - find a reason why you need the money back and let him know.
2006-11-22 01:00:31 · answer #9 · answered by JenV 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's right for your "friend" to get mad at you. But many people do that. Next time, you should only lend the amount that you can write off. So you won't have that kind of problem.
2006-11-22 02:19:05 · answer #10 · answered by JT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he has no intention of paying you back...and he's getting mad because either he's trying to justify to himself that he doesn't have to pay you back cuz you're hounding him (at least in his mind) or most likely he's hoping that if he just gets furious when you call him on his behavior that eventually you'll just drop it......i don't really think there's anything you can do unfortunately to get your money back.......i've learned that if some-one asks to borrow money i handle it one of two ways....i either GIVE them the money as a gift and expect nothing in return or i don't give them any money at all....this rule can save a relationship and your sanity
2006-11-22 03:41:35 · answer #11 · answered by SNAP! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋