they want to know everything i do and where im at. they never let me do what i want (even if its a good thing) if they dont like it then its NO! im at college....and im not allowed to see my boyfriend either....
2006-11-22 00:39:33 · 38 answers · asked by Laura D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Damn! What they are doing is considered mail fraud and it is illegal. Consider getting a P.O. box at your local post office. As for your parents not letting you do what you want or to even see your boyfriend...you have to stand up for yourself, remind them you are a legal adult, and you have the right to do what you want with your life and they need to accept that. Good Luck.
2006-11-22 00:45:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is not legal, it is called an invasion of privacy. At 21 you have been an adult for a few years and they have absolutely no right to check your mail. Talk to them about it and find out exactly why they open your mail or why you can't see your boyfriend. If you are living with your parents in their home they can still control you to a certain extent if you want to continue to live in their home, but controlling you as strictly as you say seems unreasonable.
2006-11-22 00:44:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 21, legal? No. Can you do anything about it? Well depends. Are you living with them? Are they still supporting you? Do you want to continue a relationship with them for the rest of your life? If the answer to all those questions are "Yes" then no you can't do squat. If they are no, then why are they getting your mail. Change your address. Get a PO Box. As long as they are supplying you $$$ then you have no right to complain. Once you get a job and support yourself, if they continue, then tell them to butt the hell out. Good luck
2006-11-22 00:43:09 · answer #3 · answered by Need Answers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your over 18 then yes its illegal but if you still live in their house no one is going to press charges.... Get a Post Office Box and do a change of address form. Send all your mail to the P O Box then they won't have a chance to read it.
2006-11-22 00:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by DEBBY'S BABY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that is illegal. Tell them if they don't stop it, you will have no choice but to go to the authorities/post office. Even if you live with them you are entitled to your privacy. And it IS a federal offence. I am sure your parents know this. It is extremely rude of them! It sounds to me like your parents are living in the dark ages. See him anyway. There's nothing they can do about it. You are an adult. If they touch you, it's assault. Have them arrested.
2006-11-22 01:34:34 · answer #5 · answered by smango59 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're 21, you're of legal age. You have the right to live your own life, without them interfering. If they are paying for your education, I would look into other forms of financial aid because they are using this as a way to control you.
Get a P.O. Box, cut the apron strings and get on with your life.
2006-11-22 00:46:01 · answer #6 · answered by rustybones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have an 18 year old and when his mail comes, I put it in his room. I respect his privacy.
I think it is time to have a talk with your parents. You are an adult. They are treating you like a child. It sounds like it is hard for your parents to let go. Just remember they do love you. Talk to them about what you need. Good luck!
2006-11-22 01:11:47 · answer #7 · answered by what's up? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If we want others respect our space, we first need to create enough space within and around so that others can see it clearly and learn to respect that, but first we need to draw our boundary lines for others to see and respect it ourselves. Once that is done others follow us naturally.
So the first step towards resolving this miscommunication in your relationship would be to take responsibility of your parent’s behaviour towards you, as they only learn how to treat you, by looking your own behaviour towards yourself and the world around.
So do watch out for your behaviour towards them. As that is how parents know what is ok with their children or not, they still feel you are their little girl and needs protection and guidance, so they behave accordingly, and it’s really not their fault.
Once you come across a mature, independent and grounded individual to them who can keep her point of view, calmly yet assertively they would definitely back off a bit and give you the space to grow that you need so badly right now.
No one can treat us badly unless we are ok with it, so if it is not ok with you, do let them know so.
Let them know that they can trust the values and sensibilities they have bestowed on you while growing up and thank them for that too, so if they cannot trust you now, then they really are mistrusting the values they might have given you.
2006-11-22 01:42:40 · answer #8 · answered by Abhishek Joshi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to fly out of the nest I think. If this is impossible, get yourself a post office box. If you want to go out, or do something that you know they will say no to, just lie. I dont think this is wrong, you wont be hurting them, except maybe their ego, and at 21 I think your freedom of choice and privacy comes before their controlling opinion. You can still love them, just do whatever you can to take control of your life.
2006-11-22 00:47:49 · answer #9 · answered by sunline 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are they paying for your college? How can they stop you from seeing your boyfriend? Is he at school with you? Is he like 50 or something? Maybe they have some good reasons for being strict? It sounds like they are looking out for you.
Get your address changed so your mail goes to you at school.
2006-11-22 00:43:25 · answer #10 · answered by avalonlee 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋