I'm 19 and im married with one 4 month old daughter, a 16 month old addopted daughter and i'm pregnant with twin boys, and i feel really bad to say it but i feel like evrything is all happening way to fast it's nothing to do with my children or my husband it's just the whole thing that by the time i am 20 i will have four children.And it's started to depress me now because i feel so awful for feeling like this.Is this normal or should i be really worried i just feel like such a terrible wife and mother even though i love my husband and kids with all my heart.help?
2006-11-22 00:33:29 · 25 answers · asked by tamika_follow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I dont hurt my children just for the people that asked, if any thing ive been described as to leanient
2006-11-22 00:46:03 · update #1
you should be happy.. i envy you... i would die to have a good husband and so many kids by the time im 20.. relax and enjoy life.. its too short to waste it on thinking that you're not happy
2006-11-22 00:36:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
First of all take a deep breath.
You are not a terrible mother. You are very young yes. And it s understandable that 4 kids at this age is a little much. It s even a little much if you were older.
I think despite the hormons that make you feel this way, you are just a little stressed.
Beeing depressed is not good, but as long as you dont abuse and hurt your children it s normal for some pregnant women.
If it gets to much ask for help. Your husband, your parents, his parents, your friends. Even if they just take the 2 little ones for a few hours, it ll give you time to relax and do something for yourself. Like a bath or read a book or just take a nap.
Well hope you feel better soon.
2006-11-22 00:39:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you could benefit greatly if your husband and you talk more about your feelings and his as well. Since you are so young and have 4 lives both of you will be influencing, it would be a good idea to get as much help from the people who love you and get as educated as you can about relationships and raising children. The more you do this the more confident you will feel about your life and your future.
One bit of advice for both you and your husband, kids DON"T come first. What I mean by that is a child's entire world revolves around the stability of their parents relationship. Make sure it becomes and remains rock solid and you will have a successful family. Please understand that it takes a lot of hard work, understanding, empathy, support, and especially love. Do your best. Good luck.
2006-11-22 00:51:43 · answer #3 · answered by Jon O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Tamika,
Put those thoughts out of your head. If you are a responsible parent and are providing love, nourishment of mind and body and providing love for these children, then you have nothing to be ashamed of.
The neat thing about the passage of time is that it is quickly behind you.
Besides historically parenting began even earlier! Big families are a challenge but also a blessing. You will look back in the future with pride in how well you handled everything at such an earlier age.
That which challenges us, makes us stronger!
Be strong girl!
2006-11-22 00:39:34 · answer #4 · answered by lafram5 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well darlin... let me tell you - I am 22 years old and between my boyfriend and I, we have 4 children that are 6, 5, 35 months, and 11 months. We just found out our FIFTH child is due in 6 months... our oldest has down syndrome as well. So when I say I can understand where you are coming from... I can. It is definitely T-O-U-G-H. When I was 19, I had 3 children as well. And I've broken down I don't know how many times, for a good reasons or not. I've just crawled into my bed before and not wanted to take care of ANY of my children. That's when you just have to look at your life and realized how BLESSED you are! You have beautiful children and are the light of your life everyday where there are so many people out there who are DESPERATE to have children and can't. :( And look at it this way... it may be tough now - but when you are 40, you'll be able to live the high life because all our children will be grown! :) Just take it easy on yourself... it ain't easy, but you will get through it just fine. :)
2006-11-22 00:57:01 · answer #5 · answered by Stefanie F 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are not a horrible person or mother. You just realized that maybe you started your life a little too early for yourself, and that realization can be stressful enough to make you feel this way. A good way to get through this is to see a counselor. They can help you realize that your children are a blessing and you have a lot to be happy and proud of. You should also talk to your husband about this, he should be able to give you the support you need. Good luck!
2006-11-22 00:49:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not as young as you I'm 30 with four boys and I feel the same way sometimes there is nothing wrong with you it is normal at some time in your life to get a little depressed at how your life has turned out we all go through it some days I feel like my life is all wrong , but then I sit and take A few minutes to my self and think how truly blessed I am and ask God to give me the strength to go on being me and it really makes me see i am truly blessed. if you ever need to talk email me i am a good listener
2006-11-22 01:06:49 · answer #7 · answered by SAHM and proud of it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am around your age just a year younger. I have not begun to even think about children or marriage. Your nineteen. Your still a teen. Four children is inevitable but maybe there is some reason for your abbundance of children and need to mature faster than normal. At 18 then only thing i am thinking of is college and finishing school and getting a career. With the answer to your question. No i do not think its normal but that is your choice. If your happy then thats all that matters. Your life is now about your children and its you and your husbands job to make those kids happy. In a nut shell you have decided to not experience life and devote it to your children. There is nothing wrong with that. Just most peopel wait to be older.
If your happy, your kids are happy and your husbands happy than you couldnt be anymore normal than anyone else.
2006-11-22 00:40:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
not a bad mother no,,but it would be of benefit to you if you saw a doctor,your body has been through so much in such a short time it is no wonder you are exhausted with it all and anyone exhausted is bound to feel down,,,the doctor has come across this many times before so hold your head up,,tell him the ages of your children and my bet is he will know why you are there straight away.good luck and in a few weeks you should feel a hell of a lot better and able to enjoy your family...
2006-11-22 00:51:21 · answer #9 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have my respect for adopting a child. That is a gift that means alot to a child believe me I know. I am adopted. I have three children of my own and there are days I get discouraged because I see people my age out having fun going out with friends and I can't because I have 3 kids but then I look at their faces and to me every sacrifice I may have made to have family instead of a social life seems very much worth it. I am blessed to have beautiful kids and though they may not be perfect to me they are. Hang in there alot of us moms go through it but if you are worried there are support groups that could help.
2006-11-22 01:22:39 · answer #10 · answered by Jenn L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not a bad mom, I'm 27 with a 2 yr old girl and a boy on the way and i'm struggling too. Just remember everything happens for a reason, things will work itself out if you focus on the positive and not the negative.
2006-11-22 00:39:00 · answer #11 · answered by j.soto416 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋