How should I approach my bf with my circumstance?

Question

Me and my bf met after 1 month I came to London.
We've been together for only 5 months now, but I can tell he loves me as much as I do. I really like him a lot, never felt this before.
2 months ago, my office told me they want me in the States on April. "I want you to stay, but it's your carreer and I have to respect your decision." is what he said. But after that he planned for trips, took me to many places, been to Spain last weekend, and he's inviting me for familly Xmas dinner, first time ever in his life.
My boss came from Japan yesterday, and he said he needs an answer by this month. I'm going to have a talk with him tomorrow, ask him how he really feels about me, if he see our relationship as a long running one...but I don't know how to approach this.
Although I'm doing well in carreer wise, my happiness is to be with someone special and have a child in future...but I'm not sure if I should mention this. It's just too fast!

Answer 1

well i can see that this would be alot on u .but i know it may seem hard but u have 2 tell him about this .i had a similar situation i was with my bf of 3 months and i had 2 tell him that i had 2 move 2 Texas and i wont be able 2 see him . and it really broke his heart and he was crying and all of that but he said he really loved me and he would move there too i was so happy .i mean i did not have 2 move but the point is u never know how he will take it so don't be scared to let him know this way u will know how strong his love is and if he was no good 4 u

Answer 2

It is true that you shouldn't mention yet what you actually want to look like your distant future but it is great that you decided to talk to him about your feelings. Yes, there is that "old" question: "how can I start this kind of conversation?...." The circumstances are already there....It seemes to me you have the age when is normal to dream to a career and also, the perfect type of personality to do it right. The first step has been made. He invite you to his home and spent great times together. It means that he also is interested for this friendship to go on. What I believe should be very important to mention is the fact that you don't let him for a career but you hope that your friendship to last. Most love stories are so beautifully at the beginning when one is sacrificing a part of his life for the sake of the relationship ,but it won't work ( or it will be much harder if so). I mean if you two want to have a future together you most be also realistic and find first the resources to have the type of life style it fits better to your needs. Quite probably the emotions will overtake you tomorrow but this is a great think to ( don't try to hide them, instead make sure you say to him that this friendship is also very important to you and you appreciate a lot what he said about the subject. You see, you two have already talk about it but I guess the discussion most have an end too (- don't hesitate and tell him the truth: " you are also important to me", cos he is indeed....)

If you cerrish your friendship in the same way then you should give support to each other in order for you to be able to over come this situation and reunite in London or USA as soon as posible. Speaking of reality I know it mayte sound a litlle bit ...unrealistic, but I strongly believe that:

HAPPYNESS = { Love / "blind week" + [ frienship +
+ (honesty+ care+ attention+ appreciation) /TIME]*
* mutual respect}* gratitude

...............................................................

Answer 3

What a dilema.Are you sure that after only 5 months he is the love of your life and the person you want forever.I am sure you may feel that he is but i sense your career is also very important to you.The pressure to make a decision must be enormous.Is there any way you can make the decision to go in principal with the option of changing your mind.Somehow i doubt it so what do you do?You are right to discuss this with your man and express your feelings.You need to make an informed choice and this can only be achieved by talking through every possibility with him AND your boss.There is no right or wrong answer to this,,only you can decide.Love is a precious thing when you find it and your dilema is based on so many uncertainties and what ifs.Infomation and agreements are the key to helping you decide.Good luck.

Answer 4

Men aren't known for their ability to understand their emotions. It takes time. If you were to ask him whether he thought this was a long term relationship, he would not know, even though he might say yes. The fact is, he appears to love you NOW but is unable to understand whether or not he is permanently in love -- whatever he might say to you at the moment.

You also are new to the relationship. You have not stated how you feel about him. That leaves the impression that you want to have a husband and child and he might or might not be the one, but he could be.

I suggest you go to the states and work on your career, while at the same time maintain a long distance relationship with your boyfriend. With you gone, he will be able to focus on whether he misses you so much that he would begin discussing a long term relationship. And, you too will be able to understand whether or not you're in love with him.

The United States isn't that far from London. You could visit each other as frequently as desired. You are still in the infatuation stage of your relationship. Relationships enter into other stages -- not nearly as much fun as the one you're in now. A long engagement enables a couple to understand whether there is something there beyond infatuation.

Therefore, I suggest you say nothing beyond what you have already said to your boyfriend, go to America, and see what happens.

Answer 5

go with the career, men come and go, theres no guarantees. If he wants to do long-distance see how it goes, 5 months isnt a long time though is it? Hes trying to make you want to stay by taking you away , inviting you for christmas etc. Itl be easier for you as you will have a new life and he will be left in his old one without you, but dont feel you have to stay cos of that, Ultimately though its your choice but just imagine a friend asked you the same question,what would you advise?

Answer 6

i have been with my partner for 6months and he may have to go back to London in two months if he does not get residency here in australia. i love him so much and know how your feel. 5 months is long enough, if you love him stick with him, cos there are not many decent fish in the sea that you can stand to be around for 5 months. Look my opinion stick with him :)

Answer 7

You need to sit down and ask him if he sees a long term future for both of you, just explaine that your desission is based on the fact your with him and you see a future together. Maybe he would be willing to move with you

Answer 8

career and money mean nothing if you have no-one to share it with. if your both pretty well heeled money wise, why nor bite the bullet and stay. start your own business together. even a burger van. sometimes you have to do what the heart tells you, sod the bank manager or the boss.

Answer 9

i've got self belief choose for to good answer this question i need to be attentive to precisely what you probably did, or what she did, that led to the two considered one of you to interrupt up? relationships are all approximately making sacrifices and compromises for the different. possibly she desires it sluggish to discern herself out emotionally. attempt to make it clean to her which you're prepared to grant her the gap she desires, yet which you are going to be there for her if she desires you. in case you nevertheless the two love one yet another possibly sooner or later you would be at the same time lower back. Love works in very unusual strategies...

Answer 10

Stick with your career for now... Relationships come and go, but careers are more fulfilling... If your bf loves you, he'll let you get your career to a point where he has to make a decision to move where you are...