Is it okay for me to tell my son he can't play with the neighbor anymore?

Question

I've seen him get in trouble for hitting another kid, and today he hit my son who is 5 in the back and punched him in the leg just because he wanted my son to take this little girl's toy to the basketball court when her mother told them not to take her toy out of the specific area, my son told him no because the lady said not to, and that's when he attacked him; my son hit him back though.

I've heard this kid who is 6 years old tell his mom he hates her and she said, "No one cares" and the dad just said, "Don't talk like that." not in a demanding tone either.

I am so mad even though my son got his lick back, his leg is still hurting. I don't want him to hang around him anymore but I don't want him to want to be around him more because of the fact that I don't want him to play with him anymore. I asked my son did he want to still be his friend and he said he didn't know.

I explained to him that friends may disagree but they don't hit eachother. What do you all think?

Answer 1

Sadly enough I have a niece who is very rough and deliberately mean to my children. She is quite mean to my daughter who is older than her but as my daughter is very placid she just backs down. There is no speaking to the girls parents because they think it's funny and as she is my husbands sisters child I can't just decide not to have them around. When she is at our house I watch her like a hawk, her parents make comment on me being overprotective (the time I didn't look they let her punch my 6 week old son in the face) but in my house I don't allow that kind of rubbish and I explain to my daughter that she can't go to their house by herself because she will get hurt. As she has been hurt before she knows what will happen. Perhaps you should explain to your son that this sort of thing will just keep happening if he keeps playing with this kid but more likely it'll get even worse. I'm sure you don't want him to be scared of this kid but it might be better than letting his bad behaviour rub off.
Good luck to you in what ever you decide.

Answer 2

I would definitely stop letting him play with the other kid and just tell him that the other kids plays too rough and it's not okay. It's sad because the kids don't understand but the problem is with the parenting and there is nothing you can do about it.

I have had to limit play between my son and my nephew because my nephew would bite, hit or lay on my son and his cousin just wasn't understanding the severity of what he was doing and the parenting wasn't there like it should have. Of course I had to limit and not eliminate because it's family but if I were in your shoes I would eliminate the play. My son started picking up on the behavior and trying it with us and we still have to correct behavior after he is around his cousin.

On the other hand, as long as you are consistent with correcting problems and telling your son it's not okay and maybe even telling his friend that it's not okay when it happens...you might help your son to understand self control and hopefully let the other kid know you won't allow it and he will begin to understand that hitting your son is not allowed.

Good luck.

Answer 3

As a parent, you must do what you feel is right for your child. If you notice something happening which you are not happy about, is important to consider and address the issue as you feel appropriate.

I neither know you, your child or the situation. And I therefore believe it would be wrong and arrogant of me to offer any specific advice. But the most important thing in all this is that you are the parent and must feel comfortable making a decision for the benefit of your child regardless of what anyone else says.

Answer 4

Oh this kid is NOT someone I would let my child play with. It is perfectly okay to say we aren't going to be playing with so and so anymore. Now is the time to be careful about choosing their friends because they are so impressionable now. I liked what you said to him about friends disagreeing but not hurting each other, way to go Mom. It is sad that these kids parents seem so non chalant about teaching him some manners as well proper behavior, socialization, etc. No wonder he acts this way, if his parents say those things in front of you can you imagine what they say inside their home????

Answer 5

It is up to you to protect your child from this bully. I would tell him that he cannot play with this boy because the other boy does not know how to play nicely. I hope that there are other kids that he can play with.

Of course, if they are playing at a public playground it would be hard to just leave every time you see this boy --so you need to keep an eye on him and step in if you see something happening.

Answer 6

I wouldn't let my child hang out with that brat. Explain it if you want, and you probably should, but be firm about your resolve. I think your son did a good thing by punching the bully back. Good kids don't hang out with bad kids

Answer 7

Yes, this is an acceptable thing to do.

If you can talk to the mom without an argument, do it. My mom never could talk to another mom about a bratty child. I promised myself I would NOT make that mistake. I felt like my mom let the kids' moms bully her around because she never stood up for us.

Answer 8

Yikes. Is there any point to talking with the other mother and trying to work on it together? She might need some support in handling her out of control son. You might have to supervise their play dates if they continue to play together, until you can be sure your son will be safe.

Tough situation.

Answer 9

i would have to explain to the other kids' mom that her your kid is not allowed at their house because of the rules of that house are not as strict as yours, but her son is allowed at your house as long as he can play by your rules.
this will explain to her that you are in charge of her son and can punish and praise the same as your son. your house=your rules. if they are at your house it will be so much easier to keep your eye on him (the other kid) and stop him in his tracks when he starts to hit and explain WHY NOT to hit. (not just ' don't do that' in a monotone voice that a kid can't understand)

Answer 10

WEll, yeah he shouldn't play with the boy but, to be effective you have to tell the boy. Make sure and let him know that his behavior is not accpetable, your son can't play with him because he hits him and makes poor choices and that if he chooses to change...........then your child will be able to play with him again.