why do parents spend so much money at christmas?

Question

there was a question several days ago asking people how much they spend on their kids, and the average answer was inexcess of 800-1000usd per child. that is about 500-650 Uk pounds.
personally, i buy things for my daughter through out the year, which i am sure most people do for their kids, and this christmas will not be spending more than 50 pounds. if i had alot of money perhaps i would spend more buying a one off expensive present. but the impression i get is that these kids will be getting ALOT of toys as well as clothes which are probably more expensive than they need to be.
so my question is really... why do parents feel it is necessary to spend so much money? what kind of lesson does it teach their kids apart from glutany? if parents are giving to their kids through out the year, why should suddenly at christmas do they go over board, surely the giving should be proportional through out the year? is this spending more to do with the parents than it is to do with the kids?

Answer 1

There are lots of pressures at Christmas to buy, aren't there? TV ads, newspapers, leaflets, special catalogues, in store promotions, shelves of offers in the supermarkets .... not to mention peer pressures and having the latest in thing etc.
But I think essentially its the perceived effort and value that parents and others get from buying at this time. It's all about keeping face and 'doing a good job' at the right time. But what I think is sad is that so many people put themsleves in extraordinary hock to do all of this .... the number of people that I meet who borrow £500 to £1000 from the 'doorstep man' to do exactly that ... and then they have a poor new year and a debt that will certainly outlast the next Christmas ... and the next ... and the next. And what fascinates me about all of this is that the giving pleasure only lasts a few minutes so why does it have to be a race. not only in effort but also in who can spend the most. We have come to live in a very materialistic world where perceived value is way above sentiment and the need to simply share things. And another thing ... a whole host of retailers make their living at this time of year, so they are under pressure to sell, sell, sell and live off their overdraft for the rest of the year.
I don't think it is entirely the parents' fault .... too many 'wish lists' I think are to blame!
But what we need is a good old fashioned recession .. where values can come down to basics again. I cannot remember how many times my mother told me about receiving a stocking at Xmas with an orange, nuts, a small toy a something warm to wear .... she said it was bliss but how welcome would that be today?
Your question was excellent .... it would be good if others thought the same way ..... !

Answer 2

I think maybe you have hit the nail on the head with your last sentence. Perhaps because parents spend less and less time with their kids due to the pressures of having to work, they think that they should overcompensate at Christmas by buying and buying. My friend spent over £1000 on her daughter last year and is now still in debt and behind on her mortgage payments. The worst part is that the girl was only just one year old at the time. Why did she spend so much when the kid doesn't even know she has half the stuff?

When my two were that age they were more interested in the box and the wrapping paper than the present it contained.

I also read in the paper the other day that at the launch of the new PLaystation 3 in California, they had to deploy armed guards to stop people 'lucky' enough to get one being robbed on the way home. One person also paid in excess of £15,000 on e-bay for one. What????? Why????

It's also perhaps due to the over-commercialisation of Christmas. I am a Christian but not a regular church-goer. However, I do think that people should think about the true meaning of Christmas and not get into a big debt hole that they can't get out of just for the sake of saying, 'Look what I got!'

Answer 3

My wife and I have had a £100 limit on what we spend on one another at Christmas for a few years now - it takes off the pressure to spend more each year - and now we apply the same limit to my daughter too.

I think many parents, especially those who work full time, feel guilty about it and think spending makes up for the time they don't spend together. We've taken the other route and my wife and I both work part-time so that our daughter doesn't have to be dumped in a nursery, so we don't feel that guilt - and we also know she gets just as much pleasure (and learning) from a £2 set of finger paints as a £50 electronic "educational toy".

Answer 4

I have a 6 yr old......I have spent around 250 pounds on clothing and 600 on a bike and toys for her for christmas. I am not rich by any means and start very early in the year for christmas and pay off alot of stuff weekly.
I agree with what you are saying, but the social pressure on parents is really bad. Where I live there is alot of competion and all the kids compare gifts etc on Christmas day and yes, it is like a bloody fashion show too.
But, I could not let my daughter br the only child without all the latest toys/clothing etc. I know I may sound very stupid but that is just the way it is. Everybody around me does it so I feel that I have to.

Answer 5

i have 3 nephews that make out like bandits -- 3 sets of grandparents, my parents, an very rich aunt, me. they probably rake in close to 1000 if not more. its a ridiculous amount of junk though. you can tell some stuff they like and some goes in a junk pile right after it is unwrapped. its madness. i stopped getting them presents and started getting them gift cards so at least they get what they want. the united states economy is on the verge of collapse. you have to remember everyone spends more than they earns because the economy is worse than it looks because everyone is so busy spending. it is reganomics and scary stuff. i think the american psyche plays into the overspending a lot. you have to keep up with the neighbors and this might be the last christmas and on and on. americans are very pragmatic -- they can come up with excuses for anything an none of them make any sense.

Answer 6

I agree with you there. I think some parents have always spent loads at christmas because of pressure or whatever, but kids of today just want the best stuff and love to compete with their peers.

Personally I cant afford to spend too much so am reasonable when choosing what to buy, although practical, I can buy little things too and I find it more impressive than one big present that almost broke the bank. My kids have never wanted for anything except love so Ive done a good job in bringing them up to realise that you cant buy love.

Christmas is far too commercialised now and it's just not magical anymore.

Answer 7

I absolutely agree. I have stopped doing christmas as my son already has everything he needs; from now on we will have a family feast, and perhaps a river picnic, enjoy each other's company, and buy a cow for a starving woman in India through an aid program. A cow and calf costs about three hundred dollars. We can do that as a family.

I agree that a spending spree at christmas is purely for the parents' sake. I think it teaches a child little except that money equals love, which is false. Parents do it to feel good about themselves, but many kids are just over-burdened with possessions, which makes them indecisive and careless about their stuff.

So, yeah, I agree.

Answer 8

some people are mad. I have spent £80 on my 21 month old son and £30 on my 12 week old daughter! Does that make me mean? What on earth does a 12 week old baby need? She has piles of clothes and all her big bros toys! He doesn't understand Christmas yet so just one toy will please him greatly.
I also buy them things during the year if I see something they might like.
when they get older they will get one big present each from us, e.g. a bike, toy kitchen etc. they will get enough stuff they don't need from friends & family!

Answer 9

i have set amounts for birthdays and xmas for my kids i rarely go over it i think some people spend a lot so they look good but to tell the truth a lot of kids are spoilt all year round so xmas is a big problem for some parents because they feel they have to buy everything just to keep the kids quiet
as children get older they start to learn the value of money but at the end of the day its down to the parents to get a backbone and tell the kidsa whats what

Answer 10

It is all about expectations and brainwashing.

Parents (and others) over-shop in an attempt to create the "ideal" holiday morning. Each year they are overwhelmed with images of what that looks like and they are so driven to give kids that "perfect Christmas morning" that they go way overboard.