I have two children and it is very hard to get them to get up in the morning.?

Question

I seem to ask "get dressed, get ready" 50 times. I am ignored and told I am a naughty mummy!! My keys are missinng, the mobile phone is taken time and time again and played with it. Today my 4 yr old took to packets of milk and opened the lids in her room and dipped the dogs flea collar in it. I know bright children will entertain themselves if they are bored but its realy hard. do yuo have any effective parenting ideas. my children are 4 and 6

Answer 1

Most importantly you need to make sure they get enough sleep. A structured bedtime is good for them, I was given a bed time of 7:30 for years when I was growing up. What my mum used to do which helped me get up was to make getting up fun.

To wake me up she would first call my name really quietly and in a nice voice. To make it fun she would take one of my stuffed animals and have them talk to me in silly voices. She would ask questions, so i would have to answer. It makes waking up fun, starts them off well. If you spend time with them in the morning they have your attention they will start the day better.

I am not a mother and i know it is a difficult job, I am just offering how my mum used to do which worked for me. Children love their parents and crave their attention, even if it is being told off. Give them some of your attention and encouragement and they should be better in the morning

Answer 2

Golly - without meaning to be critical, your kids are out of control. Sorry to have to say it, but that is beyond normal bright behaviour. You need to get some boundaries in their lives, not with negative telling off but more along the lines of praise and postive encouragement for things done right. At 4 they have no concept of time. Break down their tasks into steps and only tell them one step at a time. Help them dress at that age. Do everything with them and be cheerful about it. It isn't a chore if it's done as a game, all together. Have a dressing race (you against them?). DON'T let them take your phone - how did it happen a second time? How come they can get at the dog's flea collar? There are dangerous chemicals in it.

I think you need some guidance on positive behaviour management. There are lots of reasonable books. Believe me, correcting things at this stage is worth any amount of time and effort.

Oh, and good luck - parenting is SO hard.... I hope you come through this ok.

Answer 3

I got so tired of doing what you are doing. I have a 7 year old and a 5 year old (plus a 3 year old) who are not self motivated, but they are still young. I find that it helps to lay out expectations. Pu tout the clothes, the toothbrushes, everything. Make sure you stick to the same routine every morning. Wake (if they do not get up, go to bed earlier, or get them their own alarm clocks- fun for them) then have breakfast, after breakfast, bathe or wash up and brush teeth. This gives you time to get breakfast cleaned and work on yourself. Then once that is done, clothes are laid out and they are to get dressed. Then it is socks, shoes, hair done and backpacks packed. If we have extra time when everything is done, they are allowed to watch a cartoon until time to leave. The hardest part is when they resist. I take away favorie toys or programs. But mostly, I just try to tell them that it is a much better start to thje day when we all work hard together and have a happy morning. It can work for you- I went from feeling like I was having a panic attack and screaming the whole way to school, to haveing a really nice morning talking and intereacting with my kids. And they are very proud of themselves as well. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

Mine are six and 10, and I find myself nodding in agreement to your question.

What helps: the night before, pack your own bag, and have the children help pack their bags for the day. You may have to lock them (the bags! not the kids!) in a closet if they can't understand that the keys, etc. are not play toys.

The night before, lay out clothes for the next day.

Try to get to bed early. Especially you!

Get up 15 minutes before the kids, have a cup of tea and get breakfast started. Then help them get dressed and washed (if you have an elaborate routine, then you need to get up even earlier and be almost ready to go). Even my 10-year-old sometimes needs me in the room saying, OK, time to get dressed now.

The kids are old enough to help a little with breakfast -- butter their own toast, maybe pour their own milk, definitely get their own dishes (if you have them in an accessible place). And they can put all that stuff in the sink and throw away all their garbage. (-: You WILL need to remind them, unless you have some sort of check list they can check off themselves.

If you've tried all this and it doesn't work, get the book Cheaper by the Dozen by the Gilbreth kids. It's a great laugh, and the process charts are a fascinating idea. You may need to implement charts and rewards and all that into your schedule.

Good luck! It's more of a process than an actual "they're trained now!" thing.

Answer 5

Play hard with the kids. Eat at 6:00 pm showers/bath at 7pm. stories then sleep at 8 pm. Get yourself up at least an 1 1/2 hours before the kids. Organize the keys, phone, breakfast, all that. It'll be much easier on you when you have & keep a routine

Answer 6

Even at those ages they still need help and guidance! Get a routine in place - do the same things in ths same order every day so the kids know what they're meant to be doing and when. What are you doing when you're telling them to get dressed 50 times? Are they seeing you doing anything constuctive? It is nothing to do with bright children being bored - it's to do with lask of guidance and discipline. Sorry if I sound hard but that is my own opinion. They are getting away with mischief purely because they can and you are the adult so take charge of them. If my kids were being that disruptive and calling me naughty mummy then they wouldn't get away with it a 2nd time!

-Consistant behaviour on your part
-get yourself up and ready (and dressed!) before the kids
-take charge from the minute they get up
-set a morning plan in action and stick to it (kids love routine - believe me. They do like to know what's coming next regardless of what others might say. It settles them and gives them a sense of security)
-praise the good behaviour and ignore/punish the bad, but I'd recommend going great guns on the praise for good things.
-Take part with them and help them, not so much as physically dressing them but even just handing them their clothes involves you and the kids will like you being there for them.
-Address your own behaviour - what are you doing that they think is naughty? What are you doing that makes them think their bad behaviour is acceptable? Children learn mainly by example - so set a good one!!

And one thing that is forbidden in our house in the morning is TV. If it's on then there's a struggle to get them going so it's not been on once in the morning for about 4 years and it makes a huge difference.

Might take time but so long as you are committed to changing their behaviour then it will happen!

Answer 7

If my kids acted like that they would be told to stop it!!!! Time you removed some of their most precious toys and remind them they are the children and you are the adult! At 4 & 6, this behaviour is disgusting!! I have 3 sons of 21, 19 and 8 and none of them behaved so badly without a reprimand or sanction!! Until they are older, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE GROWN UP!! Stop acting like a "naughty mummy" and be a bloody mother!

Answer 8

Its a capture 22 relatively isnt it? ugh...i've got confidence for you. besides the undeniable fact that it feels like the anger situation is along with his mom and such as you suggested not the siblings. i could consult with the toddlers and in a around approximately way ask them how issues have been going. they're going to inform you if something fishy is going on on a similar time as mothers not there. And with somewhat greater probing i'm specific you will discover out if something is going on while mom is there. I consider you that your toddlers shouldnt be subjected to his outburts. You havent stated the age of your stepson. i'm assuming he's nineteen or 20ish. start up on the backside nevertheless and ask your toddlers. they are going to be a stable thermometer as to whats occurring. If there seems to be a difficulty then talk on your ex spouse. If shes not keen to do something approximately it than you extremely have not got any selection yet to bypass to young toddlers amenities. yet going there desirable off the bat will positioned every person on the protection desirable out of the container. you look as though a point headed guy and quite ordinary going. attitude this the way your character has been conveyed in this posting and you will do large! stable success.

Answer 9

Put your keys on a high up hook and your mobile phone on a high shelf so they can't reach them.
Help them to get ready. Get everything that you need to do this prepared the night before.

Answer 10

They need help to get washed and dressed particularly the 4 year old