Are you a mother?

Question

I want to ask all of you mothers a simple to the point question. Picture this... your 2 year old is sick and in the hospital. No one knows why he's sick. He's on IV's and oxygen, and flips out whenever a nurse walks into the room. Would you consider leaving him there alone and going home? My sister in law did, and I'm beyond furious. Could I be overreacting?

Just to clarify (starwoode) she didn't a "break" she wanted to leave after a couple hours of him being in there. My mom flipped out on her and forced her to stay. I just can't believe that anyone should have to TELL her to be a good mom.... again. (She always pulls this crap, but this time it's serious)

Answer 1

No, you are not overreacting. The poor thing is scared of the unfamiliar noises and people and wants someone he trusts around.

Answer 2

No, you are not over-reacting. If this is the first time a child is in the hospital, it is not a good idea to leave him/her. BUT, I will say this also, it is not nice for someone to criticize ALL mothers that do this. Let me explain: I am a mother of 6, and my 5th child was born with several medical problems, and spent a lot of time in a hospital. She trusted the nurses, and knew what to expect, so....during the day, I would leave her for short periods to go home and eat lunch with my other children, or just take a shower and re-pack my bags. I never left while she was asleep, that way she would not wake up and not know where I was. I would explain to her that I would be back, and when. I would tell all of the nurses, and make sure they knew where I would be and when I would be back. This did not make me a bad mom, I was just trying to handle all of my children. So, in some cases there are different circumstances. My husband is military, and is in Iraq now, and other times he was out of town or state, so it was just me. My family is 1500 miles away, so I had to do the best I could. I do agree however, that a 2 yr old that has never been in the hospital should not be left alone, but she could have gotten someone else to sit in for a bit if there was someone. I did not always have that option, and I had other children to pay attention to also, and my daughter understood that. So, each case should be looked at differently.

Answer 3

No way not over reacting, I have 2 children & I would leave the well child w/ granmda (etc) and stay at the bed side of my sick child no matter if the child was 1 day or 17 years, thats what moms do! I can see going to the bathroom , but I would not leave the room to even eat unless someone else was there too. I would be beyond furious, what a terrable decision!

Answer 4

I personally would NEVER leave my daughter at the hospital alone for a second! Unless her father were there, and even then only for very short periods, e.g. to go pick up some food.

Some mothers, I swear...

Yeah, I bet she was stressed out and needed a break, blah, blah, blah. She should have thought of that before becoming a mother! Taking care of your kids is not optional! What about that poor, poor baby who needs his mommy more than ever? Selfish!

In reference to your edit: yeah, well, what can you do, right? Some people just weren't cut out for the task of parenting. Dwelling on it isn't going to change her if it's just the way she is. The best thing you can do is, if you can afford the time, step in as a surrogate mother for the baby from time to time. He'll probably need it, and you seem to care about him very much. He needs someone who's not going to leave his side when the going gets tough. His granny is there for him already, so that's something, at least.

Answer 5

You are right- this is outrageous. My sons have both been in the hospital when they were quite young. I never left their side. My husband or myself were there around the clock. How scary for the little one, to not know what is going on and to be alone. I hope you ar your Mom stayed with him. He needs some unselfinsh people right now. Shame on Mom.

Answer 6

Yes i am a mother and no i woudn't leave my kid at the hospital alone not even for a minute.
The nurses do not watch or really truely take care of kids while they are there in the hospital (Like a mother would).....I wouldn't leave my son for the simple fact of someone could kidnap him.

She shouldn't leave him alone. That is uncalled for.

Answer 7

no your not overreacting. if she loves herkid she would be worried and stay there every moment untill he is better. its ok to leave for maybe an hour or something just to breath. i hate hospitals. but not for long. i mean, its a 2 year old..they need their mom more than anything.the poor thing sounds like its deathly sick.

Answer 8

from a father point of view, she would be better off getting away for a bit, cause it sounds like the doctors are unable to help at this stage. The reaction to the nurses should dissipate without the mothers presence. It probably is hard on her not being able to help her son, and he can probably sense this. Its easy to criticize other peoples efforts, and not as easy to be in their shoes. From a child's point of view, how helpful do you mothers think you are being by showing your children that your constant presence is having no effect. You would provide greater comfort if you would take some breaks, to give the child a chance to feel reasurement, instead of why you aren't making them anybetter. How selfish of you all.

Answer 9

am a mother to four kids,well,i believe that in that case my kid will need my support and existance the most,and i wont leave him/her alone..but if it took so much time,then mummy herself needs some rest to keep going on, so she can be as usefull..but surely i will choose someone i trust much as the daddy or the grandmothers..just for a short period of time..then i will get back to my blessed ever duty (being a mum)

Answer 10

IF my child was in the hospital i wouldn't leave his/her side! BUT not every mother is the same... try not to judge your sister-in-law... it's impossible to know what she's thinking, or why... but please don't pass judgement THAT will change your relationship with her forever.