I am a college student and my major is one that attracts mostly males and mostly geeks (not always a bad thing). I really like this guy that I have a class with but he is always really nervous, shy and basically acts like he's scared of the world 24-7. He is really smart and I would really like to get to know him better if only he would let me. I want to know how to approach him in a way that won't scare him off, will make him comfortable and allow him to open up to me. I know that is all up to him but anything I could do to help would probably make it a thousand times easier on him. I don't know if he has ever had a serious relationship before... I'm positive he is a virgin... I just want to make this a comfortable thing for him, if he is interested in me, too, that is. I can barely get him to talk to me about anything except homework... I just want to try my best to make this a happy experince for him, not a scary one. Thank you for your help with this 'issue.'
2006-11-21 17:47:10 · 4 answers · asked by nemos 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I have approached him about things... I told him that I liked him... I just don't know how to go from here and I really dont want to weird him out.
2006-11-21 18:17:43 · update #1
You say that he will talk to you about homework- what about setting up a study "date" with him at the library or a coffee shop. That might give you more of an opportunity to talk to him about other things as well as homework, but in a way that would minimize any of his insecurities. You could even try being honest with him and just simply tell him that you would like to get to know him better. Chances are that it will take time for him to feel comfortable around you, but if you are patient it could end up being a great relationship
Good luck!!
2006-11-21 18:04:34 · answer #1 · answered by kittyquilt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would probably be best to approach him as if you have a problem and need help with something. Like say you are having trouble grasping a concept and ask him to explain it to you. Keep the conversation within his realm of comfort. If that is only homework, then keep it at homework for awhile until he feels more relaxed.
But he might be really sensitive to feeling like you are insincere, so this is something to watch out for. Don't give him too many compliments or anything like that, he might question your sincerity and feel like you are patting him on the head like a puppy. Take it slow and be patient.
2006-11-22 01:59:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very good blog, a beginner’s guide to abnormal psychology.
Short, clear and simple; and you can even post your question and contact the author regarding particular subject you are interested in, for FREE
http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.com/
2006-11-22 09:04:02 · answer #3 · answered by LIz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically just talk to him and be yourself, allow him to be himself and listen to him, it will make him feel more confident and with time he will be very relaxed around you.I wouldn't push too fast, that might scare him, and I wouldn't give up so easy, patience is very important to make him trust you and therefore relax...Good Luck...
2006-11-22 02:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋