I was talking to this girl for 2 weeks trying to get to know her and was going to ask her out next week. We started talking alot and she knew I was interested... Well some guy just asked her out this friday. I feel like I've completely failed... which I have...
I'm going to write her a note tomorrow and give it to her telling her everything I've felt for her. And telling her she always has me as a friend to talk to if this guys a jerk. And letting her know that I'm happy for her as long as she's happy.
Is this the right thing to do or should I just back off and move on and never speak to her again...
Well anyways... I already know guys are gonna say move on, I'd like replies from how a woman would feel about this.
2006-11-21 17:21:07 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ask her out! You've messed around long enough and now things are heating up with some competition on the scene. Maybe she got tired of waiting for you to ask her out...
DO NOT give her a note, or talk about what might happen with this other guy. Don;t make a big deal out of her other suitors--in your own mind or with her. Do NOT tell her you'll be there for her if the other guy is a jerk! This will make you seem creepy... like you're lurking around waiting for it...
Ask her! Don't bumble around and ask if she'd like to go out some time. Ask her for a specific evening for a specific activity (dinner, movie, whatever). If she can't make it the first night you suggest, be ready with another-- but just one-- alternative. Be polite if she declines. Continue to be friends with her even if she is seeing someone else casually.
I've been around a while, and it's really common for the "nice" guy in the background (that's you) to get the girl...
Good Luck
2006-11-21 17:39:15 · answer #1 · answered by Ms. Switch 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it. You're on the right track. I know from experience that girls and women alike appreciate a good friend, whether it be a male or a female. Continue being a good friend to her, listen to her problems and maybe if she isn't uncomfortable with it; the two of you could still go out to the movies or some place. Just remember not to get too involved as she is in a relationship. When the time is right, go ahead and tell her your secret. I'm sure she'll come around and see all the qualities you have to offer.
2006-11-22 07:55:48 · answer #2 · answered by Baby Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to do either. The other guy got to her first, but it is JUST A DATE. It isn't like she's going to marry him next week. She may know you're interested, but she shouldn't be expected to sit at home waiting for you to ask her out. DON'T send her a tell-all letter! REALLY don't do it. It might scare her off, and you'll probably regret it as soon as you drop it in the mailbox. . Keeping her guessing for a while is going to pique her interest more than opening your heart and soul to her before you even go out a a first date. There's no need to give up on her, either. You haven't known her very long. Just muster your nerve to ask her out NEXT weekend before anyone else gets a chance. Chances are, she'll go, and you'll both get to see whether there is relationship potential there. Calm down a little. Relationships are best when you take it slow.
2006-11-21 17:31:33 · answer #3 · answered by roknrolr63 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your feelings, if you want more than friendship trully then go for it. The guy that asked her on a date on Friday is just a date, maybe just a friend, lots of people have friends of the opposite sex and that doesn't mean that they are interested in spending their life with them. You still have a chance, If I was her I would want you to try your hardest if that is what you really want to be in her life. I know that when I was younger there was a guy that I was interested in and never got the chance to know if he was feeling the same. Years down the road I found out the feelings were mutual and he never tried to carry them out simply because he saw me with a friend of the family. I know that if this guy would have followed his heart instead of letting his head tell him otherwise my life would sure have been different. I would have been happy that's for sure. Don't give up!
2006-11-21 17:33:18 · answer #4 · answered by ANG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a woman, but... homeboy, why you gonna leave the fellas out on this?
Have you ever considered that she accepted the other dude's invitation because she wants to make you jealous and speed up your game? Don't back down... instead tease her about now that she's going out, you two are gonna have to spend less time together then see how she reacts... if she drops hints that you should have made your move and go get her... you know you're still in. So read her signals...
Also, don't send her that note and "confess" how you feel - man up about it... and yes, you need both perspectives - the girlies and from the boys, so here's my two cents.
Cheers~
2006-11-21 17:27:55 · answer #5 · answered by sunsetconmartini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because she is dating someone else doesn't mean you have to stop speaking with her...show her you are her friend and tell her how you feel (talk to her, not in a note). If you care about her why would you never speak to her again...you can move on by seeking out another girlfriend and still be her friend. I don't suggest just hanging around trying to ruin her current relationship...and i'm sure that by just walking away you will hurt her feelings...be her friend...if it's meant to be more it will be.
2006-11-21 17:28:02 · answer #6 · answered by ginwill1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!
Sounds like you are a great guy.
Sorry this had to happen to you.
Knowing that you are writing her a note telling her you are happy for her,when you are actually hurting because you feel you failed.(which by the way you didn`t)
Just knowing you are there for her in case things do go wrong,she will respect you more for that.
I wish I had friends like you,this world would be a better place.
Take care now and stay strong *hugs*
2006-11-21 17:34:29 · answer #7 · answered by sunflower2052002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, she just accepted a date... that's all. It's not like she is going steady. First and foremost, act cool. Having a guy to "fall back on" is sweet, yet she wont respect you for that. Tell her that you know she has plans this Friday and that you'd like to take her out to ____ the following Friday. Be confident. If she refuses, ask someone else that you like. Who knows, you might even like the next one better.
D
2006-11-21 17:29:51 · answer #8 · answered by Denise L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should give it to her. saying your feelings will make your heart feel a lot lighter, and that way she can know that you are serious about her. you never know, she might as well want to go out with you but unfortunately this guy asked her first. then if you let her know what your true feelings are, then it might just work out for the both of you.
we women like it very much when we feel we are loved and we'd like to know what you guys really want from us! so go ahead and tell her.
Good luck! wish you the best. =)
2006-11-21 17:28:49 · answer #9 · answered by Marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you should give her the note, because some day maybe that guy will act like a jerk and she will brake up with him and she will let you to ask her out and when you ask her out she will say yes and your dream will come true. MAYBE
2006-11-21 17:28:12 · answer #10 · answered by Gayane P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋