Right Decision?? -Christian input needed?

Question

so i met my boyfriend a few months ago and there was instant chemistry, we just cliqued from the start and we started dating and everyting was fine.

but then later, he started getting distant, he got in trouble alot and he wouldnt tell me what he did or what was wrong or anything, so finally i confronted him about it and he admitted that he was doing drugs, which is what i was afraid of cuz i didnt know if i could handle that, and he said he was scared to tell me cuz he thought i'd judge him. and he's kind of an ex-christian, like grew up with it but let it go....slowly....and i really hate that people think christians are these judgmental hypocrites...when not every christian is like that. and i dont like ones that are....and so i told him that i would never judge him for anything cuz i love him so much and nothing can change that. but do u think that im just being blinded by my love for him and making excuses or do u think i made the right decision in just being there for him?

Answer 1

EDIT: Hi, I re-read your second question and as an ex-christian
I still think I can have a good shot at this here.

If something worked out, then why do you need to ask this question? The fact you stood by him is good. I still think that staying his gf while he was still voluntarily getting involved with that kind of stuff was a bit risky but it worked out for you, so
that's great. It COULD have worked out the wrong way; i.e.,
he could have persisted to do drugs etc and then you COULD have been stuck with the consequences of his stupidity; e.g, he could have died or got thrown out of school etc.

I rest by the main thing I said; i.e., when SOME people become EX-christians, they use it as in EXCUSE to do things that they know are WRONG or STUPID. Lots of people who were NEVER christians in the first place don't have this hurdle.

As a Christian, you may have serious issues with him leaving the church but you won't be the first and won't be the first christian to keep dating a non-christian. To my understanding, its not recommended but its not strictly forbidden.

Don't worry so much about the RIGHT thing "morally" in this kind of case. Worry about the outcome you'd prefer, accepting the fact that you friend probably won't return to the faith.

(Not that some ex-christians don't come back to the fold. Some do and some don't, it depends why they left in the first place. In my case, I never did drugs or whatever, but I just don't believe the gospel. Becoming a christian was emotional for me but in the end it did not last. I learned some positivies from chrisitan values but well, another story.)

IN SHORT, IM GLAD IT WORKED OUT FOR YOU. You may have gotten lucky. Again, tho, nothing wrong with sticking by a friend. Getting a friend to stop doing what he actually knows is STUPID, is not really changing him.

Answer 2

Christ calls us to comfort the hurt and needy, I think it would be very unchristian-like to walk away when someone is going through a tough time! At the same time though, I don't know if it would be a wise idea to be dating him. In a Christian relationship your faith as a couple is only as strong as the weakest partner, and whether you like it or not your own faith will suffer being in a romantic relationship with a non-believer. Perhaps it would be better to put the relationship 'on hold' for a little while (not nevessarily break up but just cool it down for awhile), but help him through his tough time as a friend for now? I think theres a big difference between being a judgmental christian and sacrificing your own faith for the sake of staying in a relationship. You definately have a responsibility as a christian to help out those in trouble... just look at the people that Christ lived life alongside, yet he did not judge them for their deeds, just helped them.

Answer 3

You should be there for him, do not judge him by what he is doing, instead try to help him in his situation. It's a touchy topic, but what you should do is anytime you notice something is going on with him, you should distract him so he doesn't rely on the drugs as much as before. You should also seek some help for him, it sounds like he needs it. Anyways, I hope you make the right decision, don't flee from him, but don't condone his actions just because you do not want to be judgmental.

Answer 4

not even a splash humorous or witty. only form of unhappy. FYI...there is not any such ingredient as an "evolutionist"...that's a made up Xian word. not all atheists settle for evolution, and not all Xians doubt it. the international isn't as black & white as fundamentalist Xians and King George's neocons could have you ever suspect.

Answer 5

You don't need Christian input. Read God's word if you claim to be Christian. What does it say about believers and non-believers in relationship to each other? What does it say about drunkards (drug addicts)? You wouldn't be in this situation if you read and obey God's word as a Christian should!

Answer 6

I think u know exactly wat u r doing. But the thing is u must help n nag him to get rid of drugs. if he can't promise u dat he'll quit drugs, better dump him. Think about ur future too....

U r not judging him. Everyone knows doing drugs is wrong. Sounds like he's trying to give an excuse dat he won't quit drugs...

Answer 7

I wouldn't be there for him as a girlfriend, maybe a friend...Dude doesn't have it together and he is screwing up really bad...You will not fix him, so let him get himself together before thinking of a relationship...

Answer 8

Right desicion. You need to be there. If you aren't there, he has no one to talk to emotionally to. Just stick with him!