My mom and I?

Question

my mom is a complainer with a capital C. i clean up as best i can still i hear "Why didn't you clean up over here better than this?" I tell her i dont see every "dust bunny" she does. With the laundry, if i bring 3 loads down to wash, which in our family the rule is to wash only super loads so we can get more done at a time, she complains saying, "Bring your laundry down more often." I am so trying to get a place of my own, but can't afford it unless this full-time job comes through i am hoping for. She also complains that I eat too much and is surprised I am not fat because of how much i eat. So i offered to start paying for $50 of the grocery bill. I mean, I weigh 128 pounds and am 5'5", so I know I'm not fat. Please give me some advice on how to deal with my mom's complaining until I move out.

Answer 1

Renee, you might try agreeing with your mom and doing as she asks. Usually when someone is complaining a lot, they are generally unhappy. For instance, when she says "why don't you clean up better" you can just say OK mom, I'll go over it again." It will be hard to do, but you may be surprised at the result. To deal with the whole issue of eating too much, you could try a little humor -- just laugh and say, "I'm hungry! I'm growing!" You could offer to cook dinner and clean up, something that isn't too expensive but that is filling: a pasta dish. The other thing you might try is to sit down w/ your mom and say, honestly and forthrightly, w/o being accusing or complaining yourself, that you've noticed that she seems to be upset a lot of the time, and what can you do to help? She may really appreciate your willingness to listen to her. Who knows what's going on with her? Try to do little nice things for her once in a while -- maybe she is complaining because she does not feel appreciated. I wish you a lot of luck! I remember tangling it up a lot with my mom when I was young and lived at home. Later in life she became my dear friend and now that she's gone, I miss her terribly!

Answer 2

My mother is the same way. She is so critical of everything everyone does. I can't clean the house right or do the laundry right either. In fact, there is nothing in her eyes that I can do right. It is her bitterness and critical attitude that keep her from seeing the good and right things that I do do. Though she will never change, she has backed off a bit since the day I couldn't take it anymore and told said "Mom, I love you. I do all that I can the best way I know how. If you don't like the way I wash the dishes or do the laundry or the shopping, by all means, then please, take it upon yourself. I don't appreciate or need your criticism and put downs." If she says something to me now, I say ok and walk away from what I am doing. She's catching on.

Answer 3

It sounds like your Mom has some issues of her own. She sounds frustrated and bitter. Do you know your grandparents? Did they criticize her when she was young? Maybe she doesn't feel well. Maybe she and your dad are having issues. So many things could cause her to act in this way. Maybe having you continue to live at home is difficult for her for some reason. If you have a fairly open relationship, simply ask her if she okay. (Not right after she nags you but at a quiet time) Tell her you are concerned about her because you love her.Try to be patient with her. If nothing works, get your own place as quickly as you can manage. Maybe you both need some space.

Answer 4

Master the skills of tuning her out. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and I do hope that that full time job comes through for you. Just stay respectful to her and try to stay away from her. Some people are just complainers and nothing will meet their 100% satisfaction. It's good in a way that you get to deal with someone like this, cause once you get out there in the real world, there are plenty of them! Let her complaining help you build patience. There's always a silver lining to any situation.

Answer 5

There's nothing to be done about it...just suck it up and work hard to afford a place on your own.
Some mom's are just plain weird. I know with my mom I couldn't do anything right either. She bawled me out constantly and I cried almost every day. Now that I'm out on my own, we talk only every few days and haven't had big argument in over 3 years. Believe me, once you leave the nest, your relationship with your mother should improve.

Answer 6

oh my goodness, mothers are such a hard topic. She might be going through a rough patch and taking it out on you..which im sorry if she is..Why dont you talk to her about it, you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders so it might be a good idea...think about what your going to say first and also what she might rebuttle with, try not to make it an arguement, but if you can both give each other the time to get your own points and opinions across it might help...good luck with whatever it is you decide to do and with getting the full time job:)

Answer 7

Wow! Go live with a friend definately lol. The best sollution would be for you to go stay with a friend for a couple of days, because right now, no matter what you say it wont matter. So the solution is to just give her space, let her miss you for a little, then come back and she'll lay off for a while.

Answer 8

I agree with the other that maybe you could find a roommate to share the cost of moving out.

Maybe your mother is stressed and sadly is taking it out on you. Sometimes that happens. I am sorry.

Has something new happen in your family that may be making her act this way.?

The best thing to do right now is try and ignore her. Do your best, You know you are trying. Maybe tell her that.

Answer 9

Wow your mom is a complainer~!

Yeah, i had to struggle with a complaining and clean-freak mother. But youre living under HER roof, so I guess your just gonna have to follow her rules as long as you live there. Try telling her how you feel about her frequent 'complaints' and you wish she would stop it. Otherwise, your just gonna have to deal with it because you are a guest in someone else's house.

Best of Wishes!

Peace

Answer 10

Just get that job, save that money and get out as quick as you can. I know what you are going through. My mom is the same way. No matter how much is done it's never enough. The only way to deal with it is to keep up after yourself, buy your own food, work as much as possible and get your own place as quick as possible.