We have been together for two and a half years. I love him very much and see a great future for both of us. The only problem is: He doesn't want kids and I do. He used to think that he wanted one or two, but after living with my neice he has decided that they would get in the way of his future. I se my future with him AND children. Should this be a problem? What should I do?
2006-11-21 16:22:23 · 17 answers · asked by txaggie2514 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
He's not too stuck on the idea. what about waiting to see what happens? Because he use to want them, he's just so career oriented. I agree with the woman who said her hubby was like that and then got used to it. He is GREAT around children and I HOPE that he will be better if he knows they are his own!!
2006-11-21 16:36:04 · update #1
You need to decide if you want to be with him or have children you may no be able have both. You can't force him to have children he will only resent you for it. Not everyone wants children and that is their choice and it should be respected. You just need to decide if it is a deal breaker and think about what is more important to you.
2006-11-21 16:28:02 · answer #1 · answered by Sakora 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to make a decision before you get married. You cannot go into this expecting him to change. The fact that you are calling this "his problem" is not a good sign. If you're married, you're a team and you make decisions together. If the two of you want different things, consider it a lucky thing to have figured that out before marrying and move on. When one person wants kids and the other doesn't, it's a deal-breaker. You probably have to choose between him and kids, unless you want to wait around and see if he changes his mind. He may not, though, and that's something you should prepare for.
2006-11-22 00:26:51 · answer #2 · answered by wildkitty822003 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not marry him until you come to an agreement. My friend is married to a woman that desperately wants kids and he does not. They never talked much about it before the wedding she just figured he would give in and let her have his kids, he just figured she would "grow out of it". There marriage is in serious trouble over it.
You cant make a person Want kids, either they do or they don't you have to ask yourself what is more important to you personally, him or having kids.
2006-11-22 00:59:18 · answer #3 · answered by Lori R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest to talk to him, before you got married. You might can convince him to change his mind one day. Maybe you don't want kids right now, and he don't neither. Ask him if you could discuss possibly having kids in the future, when you both agree that the time is right.
2006-11-22 01:16:51 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband was sort of like that....he wanted to put it off as long as he could, FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN...now 3 years later andi amdue any day with #3....now i keep getting pregnant cause hes affraid of a vasectomy!! hahaha... how serious is your fiance about not having kids....cause i will tell you right now, having a neice around for a while and having our own, is two completely differnt things.... he woudl probably be thrilled, if he knew exactly what he was gettinginto. My husband wouldnt change it for the world!!!!
2006-11-22 00:33:22 · answer #5 · answered by bangbanks72 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may want to discuss this more thoroughly with HIM ... before you get married. This is a very important factor in marriage and you want to find some sort of compromise before you say your "I do's", otherwise, it can really cause some issues. Pray about it, too. You never know, he may change his mind some day, but don't pin your hopes on a maybe.
2006-11-22 00:38:07 · answer #6 · answered by schaianne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sort this out now. It is definitely going to be a problem. Especially if he don't change his mind. Better to cut and run & start over with somebody new. Than to live a lonely life without children. I'm not trying to discourage you from staying with him, but you do need to fix this problem now.
2006-11-22 00:32:59 · answer #7 · answered by oilfieldinsultant 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is a HUGE problem that should be agreed upon BEFORE marriage
You will not be able to change his mind or trick him into having a child or 2 without him resenting you for it
If he doesn't want kids and you love him
you have 2 choices
1) agree ... no kids
2) move on ... and find another guy who wants kids
2006-11-22 00:31:46 · answer #8 · answered by Mopar Muscle Gal 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a good way to start a marriage. Maybe you need to rethink who you are going to marry if your wants are so different on this very important issue.
2006-11-22 00:27:04 · answer #9 · answered by schoolot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't spend your whole life waiting for a man to change his mind. You need to realize that no matter how much you love him he can't give you what you want and just move on.
2006-11-22 00:28:07 · answer #10 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋