why am I so fat and why can't I stop being an emotional eater? Please be nice!?

Answer 1

i've noticed that i eat when i'm bored. maybe that is partly your problem too. when you find yourself standing in front of the pantry or looking in the fridge, stop yourself and think of other things that would cure your boredom. it's really hard to break out of that habit. i know...

if you are a creative person, you should be able to find something to do in your spare time, so that you are not thinking about food all the time.

Answer 2

First of all, you are never going to stop being an emotional eater. You've probably been doing it so long that it's just second nature. You're going to have to re-program yourself and the way you cope with problems. I, too, am an emotional eater. This is what I have done to curb the habit (I lost about 45 pounds and I am going to run my first marathon in one month):
-Don't try to be a perfectionist. There are going to be days when you eat too many cookies. It happens. Don't give into that, however, by saying "screw it, now I'm going to eat a pizza and ice cream and whatever because I already messed up."
-Don't keep cookies, candy, salty snacks or whatever it is that you like to nosh on in your house at all. Toss all of the junk from your cupboards. Trust me, it is a lot harder to binge on broccoli and carrot sticks than ice cream sandwiches.
-Find a distraction. When you feel the need to eat (if you're not actually physically hungry), promise yourself that you will do something else for ten minutes. For me, it's writing in a journal or painting my toenails.
-Talk to yourself. Ask yourself what it is that you are really looking for when you dig into those fries. A hug? A compliment? What?

I think for most emotional eaters, food fills some kind of void in their life. You've got to treat emotional eating with a two-pronged approach. You need to curb the over-eating AND work on your internal issues. I realize now that I ate because I was scared to be thin. I was afraid that I would lose parts of myself if I let other people get close to me, so I created a barrier of fat. Now that the fat is on its way out, I am still terrified.

The thing that I will say is that you will probably become a lot more emotional outwardly when you begin to get your eating under control. Instead of reaching for a donut, you may find yourself crying or yelling or feeling sad. This is normal, you are stripping away your time-honored coping mechanism. You will miss food, I'm not going to lie, but you will feel (and look) better once you begin to think of it as energy and fuel rather than companionship and love.

I am going to shut up now, but I really hope that you can get your eating under control. I know what it feels like to be in your shoes and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

P.S. I also highly advocate exercising. First, because it's just good for you. Also, though, it is a great emotional outlet. You can take your frustrations out on the elliptical trainer instead of ordering take-out and moping. Also, emotional eaters tend to have addictive personalities, so that makes it easier to get hooked on running or whatever and then you aren't home to eat.

Answer 3

Well, the thing is -- you can. I did, and if I can, ANYBODY can. I got up to 400 pounds at my heaviest, diabetes, high blood pressure, meds - all because I refused to admit that I could change it, BUT it meant changing my life, including who I let into my life, and how I deal with them, and myself.

Therapy's a great thing -- it's like you want to go somewhere (healthy) but don't know how to get there, and a good therapist is a person with an accurate map of how to get from where you are to where you want to be.

In order to change your life, you have to be willing to really look at it, and yourself. What you're doing now works, in a way -- rather than change the situation, you eat to make yourself feel better, but of course, it doesn't fix the problem, which comes back, so you overeat... It makes you feel better in the short term (very short) but gives you more problems in the long term.

If what you want is a better long term, then you have to change what you're doing so that you're aimed at where you want to be. A friend used to say, "If you get on the bus to Idaho, you're going to wind up in Idaho eventually." Which is great, if you want to go to Idaho - but not if you want to go to Florida. By the choices you make, you aim yourself at a destination - different destination, different choices, 'cause the choices for Idaho won't get you to Florida, so to speak.

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result." Can't remember who said that, but it's true.

So why are you so fat? Because you overeat and don't exercise enough. Why can't you stop being and emotional eater? Because right now, you're using eating to deal with your emotions - and until you do something else (like learn to deal with yourself and others differently), you'll probably keep doing what you know, which is overeating.

Change the choices, change the result. You can - the question is, do you choose to? As Yoda said, "There is no "try." There is only do, or do not."

Answer 4

I'm speaking only from my personal point of view. I am an emotional eater sometimes, as well. When I eat based on emotional craving, I often want sugar. I find that when I eat a sugary product, it never really satisfies my hunger, so I want more and more sugar. When I stop eating sugar so much, I do not feel as much hunger. Nor do I feel as emotional either. This may be a similar problem for you.

One of the things that really helped me was to keep a food diary. I wrote down what I ate, and I also recorded how I was feeling before and after I ate. It helped me to see what foods I was craving and why. It also helped me to cut down on my bad habits.

Hang in there! You can overcome this!

Answer 5

I ate a lot when I was deeply depressed. Unfortunately, by the time I had appropriate treatment I had already begun eating compulsively. Unless our parents overfed us when we were growing up, I suspect most very overweight people eat out of some emotional need so the trick is to seek professional help before a person becomes a compulsive over eater.

I recommend that you try out "Over eaters Anonymous." Works for some people; not others.
It gives the tools for overcoming food addiction. They use the AA book but substitue alcohol with food & drinking with eating. Even if you don't go to the meetings you might want to buy the book.

Good luck; we need it.

Answer 6

I feel for you. Being an emotional eater is a really tough situation. My feeling has been that emotional eating is not the actual problem, but rather a symptom of a greater issue.

If you are really serious about overcoming this, I would seek help from a therapist or counselor.

Lots of luck to you!

< peace :>

Answer 7

The reason why people choose food as a comfort is because it doesn't yell back, it doesn't give opinions etc. You need to find out the trigger that makes you eat when you emotional. Once you can figure that out. Your emotional eating will stop.

I use to do the same exactly thing and I used to be extremely heavy. I have lost weight with weight management, exercising, eating right and seeing a pyschologist.

The is what you need to thing on. If you not healty in your head your body can't get healthy either. You have to have a positive mind to help your body.

Answer 8

I'll try to be nice. First off, i think that as hard as you're trying, you're really not taking the situation seriously enough. if you're like me (i'm not fat, but ya know.) you probably want instant gratification. Like, snap your fingers, and losing weight is easy. Probably not going to happen. It will be a struggle to get the weight off. Think of it as a battle, something which you MUST win, something that you REFUSE to give up on. Get yourself pumped about losing weight, and then don't stop trying. No matter how hard it gets, DON'T STOP. Get someone to go with you on it. Find a friend who will listen to you. Not even talk, just listen when you need someone to listen. Also, realize that you govern your emotions, not visa versa. It's your mind, you can do with it what you want. Find some other outlet for frustration, anger, sadness, whatever it is that makes you eat. Instead of going to the fridge, pound a pillow, read a book, draw a picture, SOMETHING to take your mind off what's bothering you and off your craving for food. It's all purely mental acctually, and that's probably what makes it so hard. Like I say, only perseverance will win this for you. Good luck!!

Answer 9

Thats is completly normal. Many people have diffrent stages with dealing with certain emotions. But instead of grabbing a soda and Chips grab a water and apple or something of health that way if u do eat for emotions then you will become healthier and be at a less risk for a blood clot.

Answer 10

A lot of people have similiar problems... that feeling of emotional emptiness. How they fill it varies... there's the complusive shoppers, gamblers, and emotional eaters. Maybe you should find some "alone" time where you could truly assess what you want out of life. Try to set reasonable goals and find ways to fulfill them. Wish you all the luck :)

Answer 11

Your eating to comfort yourself for whatever reasons. It would be easier for you to understand why you do this if you get some professional help. I have done the same as well as going the opposite way of not eating at all. The only way I'm able to control my emotions is to understand them. The only way I could do that was to get someone to help me to understand that its okay to feel the way I do without trying to shut it down. Wouldn't hurt to give it a try now would it? Good luck. I wish you well and health.