why is it so hard to find the man off your dreams?

Question

that feeling your suposed to get when you meet him?

Answer 1

I think the biggest reason is we tend to look in the wrong places.

Answer 2

In my opinion, I belive that the "man of our dreams" is just some image that we have at the current time and will change as we change, so if we ever did find him, he would not be the man of our dreams for long because people always want more. We are never satisfied with what we have. We take things for granted and then look for something else because we feel like we are sometimes missing something, where in reality, we might not be lacking something on the outside from who we are with, but maybe lacking something in the inside like realizing what we do have, and appreciating it. It has also become part of our culture and society, to always strive for more or getting to the next level. If you think about it,it is almost like money. Remember when you first had a job, maybe you made minimum wage and then you got a raise and how it was cool, but only for a little while. Then as we got older and more experienced(as we changed) we made more money and then chuckled at the memories of how we used to be satisfied with what we used to make. Say you found someone great and were so happy, you would want more eventually. Another reason why we can not find the man of our dreams is because we as humans are not perfect. We all make mistakes. If it were always sunny outside, you would never be able to appreciate a nice warm sunshiny day because it was always sunny, why would you? That is why there is pain and suffering in this life. If we never pain and hurt and saddness, we would never feel happiness and enjoy anything good. We would have nothing to compare it to. Just like size, a woman has gained 15 pounds and feels depressed that she is fat. If you were to take her and compare her to someone that was obiese, then she would be glad to have only 15 pounds to lose and she would not feel so fat. People are never satisfied, myself included, but this is how I have learned to be happy at times because I think about what I have and how things could be way worse. I am not perfect, there are times when I look at my husband and wish he were better, or that maybe I could have chosen someone better, but would another guy be better, or would I find things about the new guy that I wished were different. a new guy with just another set of issues. Part of a relationship is accepting the good with the bad, or it would not be part of the cerimony, (for better or for worse) are you the perfect girl? Ummm...I bet not, so do not aim for perfection. Plus, that whole feeling you are supposed to get can fade away anyway if the two of you are only looking at how the other person is not as perfect as you wish them to be.

Answer 3

Reason #1: Dreams are too perfect. Dreams don't leave room for the sweet garbage man, the intelligent groundskeeper, or the guy that works in Parks and Recreation. Sometimes dreams will block what some good guys are trying to offer. Women are survivors. We want the best. While not trying to settle, we impede our own efforts and sometimes the "best" get passed over.

Answer 4

most times your expectations are too high. You get so caught up in thinking about what he doesnt do that the man of your dreams does do, that you lose sight of the fact that he might be a really nice guy. I think you should definately have standards but if you keep holding out for the man of your 'dreams' then you might miss a good man when he comes along.

Answer 5

Most men these days weren't raised properly and don't know how to treat a lady. The romantics are gone and the good ones get plucked early. This relates to an answer I just gave. We married successful men who are traveling on business get hit on like mad when we are out with co workers because we are good looking successful guys going places in our thirties and know a lot about women. We are usually faithful but it is hard to say no to beautiful charming women that spend time with us befriending us and our friend while traveling away from home especially if we are not quite happy with our situations at home. We are going places and we are already trained to please women.

Answer 6

I suggest to look in the right sort of places. The man of your dreams is not hiding in some dingy bar or nightclub. Also I think getting to know your potential dream guy is better than just jumping in the relationship side of things, slow down and give it time. There is always someone out there.

Answer 7

because in our dreams we can make a man be exactly what we want and in all probability, that person does not exist in the real world.

that "feeling" you are supposed to ge when you first meet is fiction, the romantic ramblings of poets and the invention of the movies for financial gain.

better to find a man who becomes your best friend, and all those "feelings" will happen naturally.

Answer 8

Part of that answer depends entirely on your my dear, and your present circumstances. Are you a young woman, who has a TV vison of romance ? All sky rockets, locked eyes -accross the room, two beautiful people, no apparent means of support, living on love alone, one usually with a fatal disease and only a short time left to live. . . .

Or are you a a divorced mom of three, who has'nt seen a support check for 8 months, from the Daddy of her youngest child - the 16 month old, (that's three still in diapers and three different Daddies), and you're working two jobs just to keep your head above water, while most of your money goes to a 14 year old baby sitter, and for a crappy apartment. You're too proud, to ask your folks for help, and you don't know how to get in touch with any of the kids fathers any more, thank-god for the welfare, and just how is Prince Charming going to find you anyhow - unless he's one of those darn bill collectors - who can track down a cockroach at a dump?

Or Are you a college grad, working in a pretty good job in a downtown office, - living in your own place, you've got friends, you date occassionally, sometimes still go to alummni games, hit the bars with friends, still hook up with college buddies, and it seems like the only men that you are attracted to are the boy friends or husbands of your best friends or your Gay friends.. I mean where are the good guys? Where do you have to go to find Mr. Right? You tried the Church social once -( a total disaster), a mountain retreat for "Aspiring young Men & Women of Today" - what the hell was that alll about anyway - THat was like a cross between a seventies EST session, and a Junior High school dance, you're thinking about one of those "Bare foot"crusies but aren't comfortable with putting yourself up on the platter as the Daily Special on a meat market cruise.

So what's wrong? Are your standard's too high? Are you sending out the wrong signals? If you were a "guy" - would you think you were a "Hottie" and would you want to pursue yourself for sex and something more? And Speaking of the "S" word, - what do you want out of a "Relationship" with a man" Just sex? Companionship? Marriage? Friendship? Something more - something less, - ? Or do you just want to get out there and start having fun with other people, to socialize, to be a part of it all?

Somethings to Think About, and to Do / Become:

1. BE what IT IS that you WANT TO ATTRACT. If you want to find someone who is attractive, confident, witty, sexy, comfortable to be with and who is comfortable around others,. YOU need to be come that person to a certain degree. Opposites do not necessarily attract. The Hot Guy generally does noy seek out the plain Jane wall flower - might be a good read in a Walt Disney movie - but in reality - he's going to go for the hot blonde with the great figure, who knows she's a knock out- and isn't afraid to show it. She's proud of her looks, and dresses to show off her figure, and she uses all he assests to get what she wants when she wants, - she's no tease - and men know it. She's not trash - she's all class, and pure sex, and all woman, and she's learned a secret that most women never understand or embrace fully enough - she loves herself, and she loves being a woman. She undersands the enormus power of her sexuality and .uses it to its full advantage, shes is intelligent, and possese a wicked sense of humor, and shes is - above all else - and this is perhaps the one thig that makes her the most beautiful woman in the room - confident in herself as a woman.

2. She also knows how to treat a man, - she undestands the ritual and roleplaying of the magic that can be created, along with the heat and passion between a man and a woman if they are both willing to use the sexiest part of their boidies - their brains - in "courting" one another in public on that first chance meeting.

3. The chance seduction can be incredibully erotic if both are interested, and both are sending out the signals and are receptive - and that's the key - you can not be passive you need to be somewhat agressive and you will find that energy willl be returned, you will also find that maybe the fellow that you are having fun with at the time - while not the man of your dreams - will be enough to spark the interest of other single Alpha Males out there, who will catch the nuances of what is happening, and may decide to join in the dance as well, - if not that night - then the next, - so don't wait for it to happen - make it happen. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN MAKE YOUSELF HAPPY OR SAD - CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY - CHOOSE HAPPINESS IN LIFE AND PURSUE IT!!

(Always leave a little room in your heart for Angels to dance)

Good Luck - Not all Men are Beasts - JR

Answer 9

The man of your dreams happens when you are ready. When you have become the best version of yourself. I know for myself that I am not even close to the relationship i want to have. Till then I plan on improving myself so that I will be qualified to ask for "the man of my dreams". This stuff takes time, but dont forget to have fun.

Answer 10

It is not hard to find the man you are looking for , I guarantee you he will come and your destiny will cross path and you will know it, but to tell you the time when it will come that I can't tell.
Some will happen sooner than you think, but some will happen sometimes when you are about to celebrate your 45th birthday. Just be patient.. ok!

Answer 11

Some are lucky to find what is close. I am so very glad to be able to say I am one of them. I never thought Id find him, but the reality is this: if you truly love someone, then the "man of your dreams" will no longer be just in your mind, he will be in your arms.

Best of luck.