OK I don't know how to feel any more. I have two kids both boys. Ones ten and the other is seven. They both have differint mothers and I have custudy with the ten year old. I just seperated with my most recent babys mother and we are moving on with our lives with out each other. But when I have both my kids together I start thinking to my self why can't I manage to have my famaily stick together?I have a new girl in my life but it feels like nothings certin in a relationship. It feels like after a certin time in a relationship every body wants to go their seprete ways after a while. I mean I see my parents and my sis and her man staying together and look happy. How can I have a lady stay with me till the end and not worry that shes going to leave me? How am I suposed to feel and trust any body anymore? I just feel so down casted and don't feel motivated to have a new relationship cuss I feel it's going to end up the same way. I'm just not looking forword to the pain agian. Please help.
2006-11-21 15:27:44 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Looking for more relationships is not what you need at this point in your life. The last two failed relationships are a testament to that.
You have two children who should be the focal point of your life. If love happens to come your way, so be it...
But you are a father now. The two children you helped create should be the only thing on your mind, not your love life.
Think of them, and once you have established yourself in both their lives, and are a more stable person, perhaps then you can search for love again.
I had a father who was in and out of my life when I was young, because he has three different 'babys mommas'.
I'm fine, because my mother was a stable person, and she married my step father, who ended up becoming my real father.
Do you want your children to be the second most important thing in your life? Or do you want them to grow up knowing you did everything in the world for them?
Think about your kids, first. Please.
2006-11-21 15:36:40 · answer #1 · answered by A Wells 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well that is a hard thing to go thru. I would say that it means that the right one has not walked into your life yet. Yes, it is hard to wake up everyday and not know who is still goin to stand beside you in the good times and even the bad. Not the easiest thing to gain...Trust...it takes alot to really trust someone when alot of people have let you down but do remember those who are there for you! And maybe it was not you that is not ready for a family but the mother of your childern!
And when the right one comes into your life she will always be there and you will feel it in time! But keep your chin up the best takes time, and you will look back and understand the reason you had to wait!
And something else, don't rush so fast into other relationships, sometimes wit out meanin to you can carry the problems that you had in the one befor into the next when you are still sore and scared of the same fear and trust...And to have a relationship a good one you must trust! If there is no trust you should have no reason to be in that relationship. It will not work!
I really hope anything that I said helps you in this chapter in your life cuz I know it is hard! The easiest way I have found is to know that better is goin to happen and I don't want to waste my day achin over heartache.Your childern, you have them and they are your family. Smile for them!!
Wish you the best!!!
2006-11-21 16:02:29 · answer #2 · answered by kat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi.....lifes lessions are not often fun...especially when they repeat themselves. I think you need to see if there is a common thread between these two woman...not looks or the fact that they were once yours, but some internal thread. What attracts you to them...there personalty. When you figure that out, maybe you can get a better understanding of why this type of wm is unable to have a long lasting relationship with you. It takes two poeple though....you may be part of the problem, as are the gals you choose. In the mean time, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and learn from what has happened. Don't allow it to repeat again. You have two children, so i am guessing you are in your early thirties at least. trust in yourself....the trust in your gal will follow.
2006-11-21 16:18:54 · answer #3 · answered by KaLee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Comon, Uncertainty is certain. You cannot control people' minds, and even yours. What are you going to make sure that you will not leave the girl who you are with now. There's no certainty. You may not wanna leave her but if something make you might in the future. Who knows? I know what it's like walking through pain agian and again. I think the best thing to do is just doing everything best for today, more likely that good result happens the next day.
2006-11-21 15:34:17 · answer #4 · answered by Sunny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man, you need to pull youself together, Search your heart and find out where you really goof and make corrections. Chances are if you did not keep the first and the second, the odds are against you for the third one. The women are not the problem, you probably are and you could yourself a favor by trying to estblish what you are not doing correctly and changing how you are doing it.
As you know women are tender -for the most part - and if you treat them differently they turn really ugly, do yourslef a favor, never ever lose your first love, unless there was abuse or consistent cheating.
At least you are capable of loving, allow correction, allowc mature conversation, allow yourself to love and be loved.
Good luck buddy. make good choices
2006-11-21 15:33:28 · answer #5 · answered by Trinity 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have two beautiful daughters who do work in the tv business. I am single and have been for 11 years. I am able to date but I say no. I want to serve God. There comes a time when you need to be alone and think about life. I know people can't believe that I do it. I have the grace from God that even though I could date I put God first. I know He loves me as no one can. If this doesn't help you. I am saying try to be alone and l think you will see what you are to do. Jumping from person to person will solve nothing. I will pray for your happiness tonight.
2006-11-21 15:39:41 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
once you're bereaved your view on the international can exchange into very slender as your attitude on each thing revolves around the deceased and what you may desire to do is detect a manner of 'stepping lower back' out of the present subject so as which you would be able to think of and get some attitude. Take your self off for a protracted walk or a bike journey or bypass the well-being center or bypass swimming and it enables blow the cobwebs away out of your thoughts. think of roughly your Dad and what it exchange into that he enjoyed approximately you and what he exchange into enthusiastic approximately and concentration your energies on those good factors of your individual character that your Dad enjoyed. if your Dad died of a curable illnes sor diseas then sign in to do some fund elevating or a marathon run or something like that and concentration on it - you prefer something outdoors your contemporary circle of thoughts so as which you would be able to get your life lower back into some order. Ask your boyfriend that might assist you bypass on a walk or bike journey, and enable you to organise some fund elevating to help scientific care the ailment that your Dad had. stable success
2016-10-22 12:52:52 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one. Do you love any of your kids moms? Mabey you can have a sitt down with one of them and try to find out where your relationship went wrong. Find out what you could have done differently. Or vysa versa. Because you don't want to keep bringing different woman into your kids lives because it kinda messes them up. They need stability. Im trying to think coming from a woman why mabey nobody sticks around with you. Do you pay attention to the woman that your with? Because woman need attention and to know that they are loved. It's really hard to say what to do when I don't really know you. But good luck and try talking to your kids mothers. Mabey you can rekindle something.
Good Luck!!
2006-11-21 15:38:46 · answer #8 · answered by I love my kids! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't have any advice for you other than to say it's a choice. You can choose to try or you choose to not try. Honestly (and sorry you're going to take a hit from me on account of my gf who is very much the same way) this is very selfish of you and you need to get over it. If you're looking, goddammit, part of you wants this, wants a successful relationship. Problem is the other part of you realizes it's going to take risk and work and so you tell yourself "This can't work". Get over it. I don't know how to suggest to you you do that, but quit looking or start trying. You will only hurt other people if you look but won't try.
2006-11-21 15:34:36 · answer #9 · answered by randyken 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well the first thing you need to do is pick someone to marry and wait awhile before you decide to have more kids. i don't know if you were married to these girls or not, but kids before marriage is usually not a good thing. maybe you should just take time for yourself and your kids right now. don't go looking for a girl. the right one will come along. it may be when you are not looking.
2006-11-21 15:30:32 · answer #10 · answered by leela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋