Could my sister n my husband be having an affair?

Question

Received sms from some strangers that they're having an affair.Both of them denied.I only come back during the weekends as my job requires me to travel during weekdays.My kids are with me all the time.The stranger seemed to know a lot about my husband n my sister and their night activities,n God knows how this person got my cellphone number.Me and my sister used to be very close, hangout together and all.Now we don't talk anymore n she mentioned that she will never forgive me for accusing her.Could it be that some people are jealous of us n wanted us to be enemies?

Answer 1

Sure, someone might be causing this... but so what if they were. Your sister isn't the issue here, she isn't married to you, she's family. No one but you and your husband are responsible for your marriage.

So, no matter how you feel about your husband right now, it isn't your sisters fault, even if she was a participant, and I am not saying she is.

The more important thing here, to your marriage, is to talk to you husband with an honest and open expression of how you are feeling, and with out suspicion or jealousy being part of the discussion.

Even if they where involved,how does it affect your marriage. Without this stranger causing trouble, would you have noticed any changes in how he felt about you and how he thinks of you and treats you. Jealousy is a destructive emotion and the stranger knows that.

You have allowed a perfect stranger to manipulate you for their own gain (whatever that might be). It is within your power to change that. The best way to do that is to be open with your husband and your sister about the circumstances that brought you to be concerned and talk it out. So what, if they were fooling around... You can break that cycle of jealousy by realizing that trust, openness, and communication makes those concerns irrelevant.

But remember that, if you want to stay married, then you need to go to your husband about your concerns and work it out. Then when things are out in the open, even if there was an affair, You talk to your sister and work things out for the sake of the fact that she will always be your sister.

Remember, so what if they fooled around. You still love them both. do you want either one or both of them out of your life....

Answer 2

It's quite possible.
My advice to you would be, pay someone to watch them both if you can afford a detective. If not, then you will have to have some time off work and watch them yourself.
If their in a relationship,they will both lie through their teeth. What sort of job do you have that keeps you away from your husband all week, that you can take your children with you as well?
If you love your husband and want to keep your marriage together,I would suggest you do something about this job, it's got to be a great temptation to any man to have an affair when his wife is away for most of the week.
Apart from that, do you think it's good that the children spend so much time away from their father?
I'm not trying to judge you badly, but you don't say why it's you that's having to work away, instead of your husband, I'd really like more detail.
What does he do all week, does he work at all?
This won't be an easy problem to solve, unless you have them watched.
I suggest you do though,there's not usually smoke without fire, although there are some people that just like to cause trouble between couples.
However, now the seed is sewn in your mind, you won't be able to settle mentally or concentrate on your job, whether it's good news or bad.
Sort it out for your own sanity it will drive you crazy not knowing one way or the other.
The thing is you need to know, if they have been having an affair, you need to decide if your going to forgive him.
Your not talking to your sister already,she says it's because you have accused her,but is she finding it easier not talking to you because she feels guilty.
You have children to consider as well,they need to know that their future is secure whether it be with a mum and dad or just mum.
I wish you the best of luck.
Hope you'll come back to answers and let us know what's gone on.

Answer 3

How would you have reacted if they owned up?

This would have an affect on how they react to you.

Some people never own up!(fear or excitement)
But it could be true that someone may be jealous

Could you handle it if they are seeing each other?

Act normal tell your bloke your gonna be busy for the day and
ask him what he's going to do? .Then snoop. If he suspects nothing and is a cheat then he will jump at the chance to be with her.

There is a fine line between awareness and paranoia.

But if he suspects a test !!..Or if he is not a cheat!!.. Dilemma.

Could your sister be the one who sent you the message because she wants him to herself?

What is her dating situation?

Just don't react without solid evidence If your sister cares explain to her how it's affected you and that you need her to keep her distance why you sort out your trust issue. If she still turns up Question why she is not respecting your wishes??

Both your sister and husband if they care should respect your concerns and want to get to the bottom of this.

Answer 4

I think that it may be true and whoever wants you to know isnt trying to hurt you but maybe trying to let you know in this way so that you wont be made a fool of any longer. If they seem to know details about this then maybe you should consider it to be true.
Apologise to your sister and husband and then just wait, if they are having an affair they will definetely get caught, now that you are aware of this you can watch for signs and trust me they will make a mistake sooner or later. Maybe after some time has passed and they think that you no longer suspect them come home early from one of your trips, you will have your answer.

On the other hand if this turns out to be false then your sister would forgive you if she loves you and has nothing to hide.
With her getting angry and defensive , it just makes me want to believe that something isnt right. I hope all works out for you...good luck.

Answer 5

Could be true. Or it could be a pack of lies. Either tell him to pack up his stuff and shift, or, get to the bottom of this and start to do some detective work. There could be somebody you know or he knows or you both know trying to hurt you and your partner. Are you sure it is your sister? it could be somebody else wanting to split you both up (another woman he may of had a affair with) and using your sister as the bait. Who knows get answers, you deserve it! This must be crushing your heart but don't do anything disastrous and dangerous, consider your kids and don't point the finger until you are positively sure.

Plant a camera as suggested by somebody or even a tape recorder hidden somewhere.

Answer 6

If the stranger doesn't reveal their identity, I'd be inclined to trust your husband and your sister. Why should you trust an unknown person more than the people you know among the best?

However, if you can't trust them, a relationship without trust is pretty worthless and will only hurt the people involved

Answer 7

Show her the sms's and ask her how in the hell are you meant to feel with recieving that sort of crap? If they are having an affair the only way you will be able to prove it is to catch them out.perhaps sms's on their phones? Or the other possibility here is you have made yourself an enemy or someone is attracted to you and wants you seperated...dig deep in you mind about all 3 scenarios and keep yourself safe...good luck

Answer 8

Go for the 3 some. Tell your sister you want to go down on her and her husband. Then you can have it all

Answer 9

It is possible, so if you are suspecting this, perhaps you could find your way home without them knowing and find out for yourself. This would be a horrible violation of your trust and respect. However, I have heard of such. Some people are just totally lacking in morals and values. I hope this is not the case, however, I would investigate the situation. God bless****

Answer 10

Man and woman can havr sex.You cant prevent.Donot believe on anonymous callers.But donot allow your sister to ruin your life.Ask your husband for a relocation to a place near to your work place.Better you try to find or relocate yourselves to a nearer place so that you can be with him.Use tact.Remember a woman near (your sister or not) is better than a wife far away when sexual urge props up.You have to take early action with tact.To day she may not be indulging but what about tomarrow?Prevention is better than cure.Persuade your sister to marry and settle.Be practical.