So thanksgiving is coming back around and my wife is wanting me to go spend 3 days with her at her parents house. Problem is though, her family makes it clear (Other than her mother) that they don't care for me at all. Truth be known, I feel the same way.
What should I do here folks, I really don't want to be around people who make clear they don't care for me.
2006-11-21 14:07:29 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
tell her how you feel.. If she loves you, she'll understand;)
2006-11-21 14:10:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to explain to your wife that you love her very much but you cannot go to her parent's house. Let her know that you don't feel comfortable around them and they have made it clear that they do not like you and the feeling is mutual on your part.
Ask her if she might be willing to have Thanksgiving at home this year (you can start a new tradition) or tell her that if she chooses to go she will have to go alone.
My husband is no longer going to his mother's house because of the way his parents are treating me. I am making Thanksgiving dinner for us and our five kids. I told him that ultimately if he did choose to go there he would be going alone because I was not going to spend Thanksgiving without my children. He never intended on going though because of how badly they have treated me.
If your wife is understanding she will work out some alternative arrangements so that you don't have to go through another uncomfortable Thanksgiving. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your happiness every year by spending time around people who openly treat you badly....
Good luck. I understand completely what you are going through.
2006-11-21 17:22:12 · answer #2 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can stay somewhere other than at their house, then your wife can go round more often than you.
Maybe you can just make it for the meal? and let your wife have some 'quality time' with her family alone on the other days?
Arent there some attractions in their area that you are just dying to see? Or some old school friend who moved down that way? Then you could take her and her mum out to lunch too and that lets her know things are okay btween you.
2006-11-21 14:14:42 · answer #3 · answered by asiwant 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you could have her go spend Thanksgiving with her family while you spend it all alone. I am assuming that you knew these people didn't like you before you got married, and yet you chose to marry this woman anyway. Maybe you should try to remember WHY you did that and learn to tolerate her family, afterall they ARE related to your wife and maybe someday your children So either you put up with it or you isolate yourself from even YOUR immediate (wife and later kids) family during the holidays because of your childishness.
2006-11-21 14:16:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were youI would have a fun talk with the mom-in-law first. Make it at least enjoyable for the 3 of you. Have an inside joke and just be polite to the maximum. It may drive them crazy, no matter how bad they act. Shrug it off and enjoy mom-in-law and your wife. Be the bigger person and impress the ones you do care for, and care for you. Have fun.
2006-11-21 14:17:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that. Remember you are the man of the house .If you love your wife standup to her folks ,with her. If she loves you she will be upfront with you. The best thing you can do is if they say they dont like you ,tell them, say " tough i married your daughter not you ,I love her very much and am going to stay with her no matter what." Ive done this and it works , They will respect you knowing that you not only love their daughter but are not afraid to stand up to them. Your wife will be on your side once she sees you care more for what she means to you. Go tell them!! youll be glad you did. Just be nice and firm when you tell them.
2006-11-21 14:19:22 · answer #6 · answered by dadat44 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is too short to live it miserably. I know that you may feel obligated to spend your Thanksgiving with them this year, but please be reasonable. Three days is pushing it. That is too much to ask of you even if you were in love with your in-laws. It would be practical to eat dinner with them on Thanksgiving Day, pretend to enjoy the bland food just as millions of Americans will do and then get in your car and get your a$$ out of there as fast as you can.
2006-11-21 14:22:57 · answer #7 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay at a hotel/motel instead of with them and then you will limit your time with the family. For the other few hours, you can be polite but distant. Bring a book and read while your wife visits.
2006-11-21 14:11:15 · answer #8 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you are married to this woman and sometimes you must do things you don't want to do. I know you will be very uncomfortable but I think out of respect for your wife you should do this. Be very pleasant and show them you are a better person then they are, they have no respect for their daughter or they would put their feelings for you aside and act like civilized people. Good luck to you
2006-11-21 14:19:25 · answer #9 · answered by inmate3685 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definitely wouldn't want to be around people who don't like me for 3 DAYS! You should just explain to your wife that it makes you feel uncomfortable and one day is enough. And if you have to be there longer, but act polite and stuff.
2006-11-21 14:11:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could talk with your wife about how you feel and ask for a compromise. Maybe a shorter visit, or maybe having them to your house so that you can be on your own turf. If you get stuck going...plaster a smile on that face, never let them see you sweat, and never sink to their level.
Good luck!
2006-11-21 14:16:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋