Im 21, andmoved in with my mom, after living away at college. She was totally nice about it when she made the offer, saying that i was more then welcome to move back in while i was in nursing school so i would only have to focu on shocll and not worry about work. But lately she insists on knowing where im at at all times, she wants to know who im going out with where i went and how long i stayed there. She also wants to know the names of guys i go out with. Help, this is getting ridiculous. I dont want to hurt her feelings but i NEED my privacy!
2006-11-21 13:44:13 · 15 answers · asked by ksellers85 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sometimes it takes moms awhile to see their little girls as a grown women. It is best to talk to her and say that you would like to have more privacy. Explain to her your feelings. But I do think a compromise may be a good thing, decide on what you would like to tell her, like your school schedule and when you will be out with friends and when you will be home. What is wrong with telling her the names of the guys you see? Say something like "his name is Tom, met him in class and I can tell you more about him later." Remind her your focus is on school. Also, make sure you do spend time with her, that is probably what she is wanting. She offered you her house, respect her for that. I'm sure you can see your way through this, it will be worth it in the end, esp. if it has saved you dorm fees and other costs.
2006-11-21 13:56:05 · answer #1 · answered by hazyseptember 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing and promptly moved out!! Sorry to say this, but it's true...her house, her rules. No matter how old you get, some parents will still look at you as their "baby". You have to decide which is worth more to you...going to school without worrying about a job but not having the privacy and freedom you want...OR...having your privacy and freedom, but also having to work AND go to school.
2006-11-21 13:50:09 · answer #2 · answered by Alishia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have not told her so. Your mom needs a life and is trying to live one though you. YOur young she in not. At 21 i would say she is being a bit nosey so say so to her. But be respectful is you can. Tell her at least when you will be home, if your in school you can't be out late anyway. Your in school so that is where you are.
2006-11-21 14:05:49 · answer #3 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then I suggest you get out of her house. Look, not trying to be mean, but if you live in her house and she so warmingly invited you to, it's probably because she wanted the company. For someone to come and go at all hours of the night probably disturbs her rest, escpecially if she waits up for you. Also, by not sharing with her, it probably makes her feel like you are in trouble, or doing something wrong. Look at it through her eyes, she's your mother and is going to worry. Sit down and tell her things that are going to make her feel at ease. She probably feels the same way I do...if something happens how do I know where she is??? If something happens to her, how will I know who did it. I literally had to tell my grown kids who live at home that if they didn't start being a little more considerate to our feelings then they had to go. (My husband would pace until all hours of the night) We don't need to know everything, but locking us out makes it worse. Afterall we are all, supposedly grown ups.
2006-11-21 13:56:28 · answer #4 · answered by Ofie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think her asking you to move in was her way of not letting you go off into the world on your own so to speak its okay for her to be concerned because that feeling never goes away as a parent but at your age there should be limits try just telling her before she asks be like im going out with brad at the movies i will be back at 2.a.m if this isnt working then get your own crib.
2006-11-21 13:50:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to chat with her tell her that when you were on your own you had the freedom to do what you want without telling anyone where you are going and asking why and questions. Tell her you understand that she cares for you and wants to know some details on things. But tell her its just driving you crazy, and you would love it if she could just cool it a bit. Tell her that you will let he know some things but not every little detail. See if yous can comparize and come to a arrangement. Make sure you tell her and make it clear that you understand that she is doing it because she cares for you and your not mad just you want some more freedom.
2006-11-21 13:51:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she will always be a mom tell her that you are 21 and you need to have some privacy not to hurt her remember she is your mom and may kick you out so tread lightly tell her but you don't have to spill the whole pot of beans or tell her before she asks and yes you will do this to your kids so think before you talk i had to tell my mom to look up one day and she said why i told her that was my roof ha ha be cool about it
2006-11-21 13:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by rradboys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just tell her that your not a kid anymore and that you really dont hink that where you go or who your with is any of her business. ***note*** are you obey the rules of her house? i mean although who your with and what you do isnt any of her business you should still follow her rules. meaning out of respect if she says that she would like you home by 11:00 then be home at that time.
2006-11-21 13:51:33 · answer #8 · answered by thinkofmealwayslver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you've become so accustomed to dorm life, you'd like to go back to it. You'd rent an apartment not too far away from her, so you can be close at hand if needed, and would visit her often.
2006-11-21 13:48:25 · answer #9 · answered by wisdom tooth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her house, her rules. Follow them or move. She's doing what she thinks is best for you.
My son (19) moved out and won't talk to me. He started staying out late (which i didn't really mind), but he flunked out of college (which really made me mad).
So he moved, got denied financial aid due to his grades and is now working and living elsewhere.
Like i said -- my house, my rules.
2006-11-21 13:52:36 · answer #10 · answered by toobusytostress 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋