I was friends with this guy for 2 yrs, then we fell in love. it's a SERIOUS long distance love affair even though we only see each other 3 to 4 times a year. I knew he was having problems with his wife and i told him several times I would never stand in the way of him and his family (they have 2 kids). Now, on our 5th year together, he tells me he's divorcing his wife and somehow, i'm know it could be my fault.
2006-11-21 13:01:38 · 18 answers · asked by BMC 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
do not feel guilty, he's old enough and he made the decision on his own. it would be wrong to deny him his chance to finally find happiness.
2006-11-21 13:10:27 · answer #1 · answered by Bubuchachum 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell No! My ex and I are like brother and sister now. We have a daughter together. But I don't get it twisted sweetie. I wouldn't have his a*s again if his &ick was mounted on Mount Rushmore! It was good while it lasted. We were married for 13 years and to be quite honest with you, I was tired of being married after the 1st 5. I get bored honey! To have to wake up and look at the same man every f*cking day can just really disturbed me. Well at least it did back in the day. Now, I'm good! My second husband I was with him for 9 years. He was the best man that I've ever had in my entire life. I miss him a lot! He passed away. It was a year last August. I've relocated from state to state. I'm good! Don't dwell! Sometimes divorces happen for the best. There are plenty of good men out in the world. Don't sweat the small stuff. Get what you want and not what other people think you should have.
2016-03-29 04:54:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think there are two sides to the coin here.
you should feel guilty because you were selfish and got involved with a married man. you interfeared with his life and his fanily.. what did his wife and kids do to deserve this?
on the other hand. he is a grown man and he chose to cheat on his wife.. he also needs to shoulder full responsibility for the demise of his marriage.
i think what matters most here is lessons learned..
the fact that you feel guilty about what has happened is an indication that you have done something that goes against your values..
although it may have been fun fooling around with this guy 3-4 times a year, please think seriously about whether this is really worth it. can you really be emotionally satisfied with a guy you can only have 3-4 nights out of 365 days in a year?
now that this guy's marriage is over, he will be going through all sorts of emotional problems, not to mention legal problems with divorce, child custody issues etc..
the best thing you can do is leave this guy alone and stop dating married men!
please think long and hard about make a commitment to yourself to seek out single guys from now on..
2006-11-21 13:10:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't ask him to divorce her the it isn't you fault. He is a grown boy. He knows what he feels and you can't change that. If he decides to do that then you need to stand behind him. You also need to accept his kids as if they were yours. He must want to take your relationship futer. Be happy. If this is what you really want.You might even have kids with him. Just don't put your kids that you and him have before his kids. Accept them with loving arms. If you don't then he will see that you only love him and not his kids. Good luck. I think your future is looking brighter.
2006-11-21 13:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by Ready G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I am sure very few people would feel guilty if their bf divorced HER wife, because no bf's are HERs!
But if you really did that, then you are trash. Trying to make a married man fail in life is dispicible. What kind of a person are you? There are literally BILLIONS of men out there, and you want to do one that just happens to be married AND have children? I hope he marries you, and then you will suddenly see the marriage fail. I hope you catch him cheating in YOUR car.
2006-11-21 13:11:33 · answer #5 · answered by Johnny 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes its your fault. not completely bc he should have gotten a divorce long before you two started talking but how can you say that you would never stand in the way of him and his family (he has a wife and kids!) you should never have started talking to him! wow.
2006-11-21 13:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'd have been guilty dating a married man! and his divorce is not nessacerily your wedding.but there are thousands of woman,
millions threw the centuries who gave their all and all to be second fiddle to a wife with the mere promise of a divorce. i'd be careful about marrying him too cause he doesn't do well under pressure and i wouldn't want to wait to become the old model!!!
2006-11-21 13:11:02 · answer #7 · answered by tink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you met him and he was married then you should have back off then but it is to late now cause the damage is already done and those children are going to have to deal with a broken marriage and it is a golden rule never date a married man! but you just remember he is leaving her and what is to stop him from during the same to you good luck
2006-11-21 13:12:47 · answer #8 · answered by poda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel guilty?
This is the fundamental question you need to decide for yourself. You can justify it either way- it's your fault, or it's not your fault. You just need to decide which one your conscience is truly telling you.
I hope it works out for you. I'll keep you in my prayers.
2006-11-21 13:04:42 · answer #9 · answered by Link 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not your fault, it is his choice. If he is a friend, you may need to be there for him, this will not be an easy time for him. Please encourage him to keep in good contact with his children and help support them and his wife, if she needs it.
I hope it all works out well for you all.
x
2006-11-21 13:05:12 · answer #10 · answered by WildWildHeart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋