I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. In May I found out (by snooping) that my boyfriend cheated on me for the first 2 months of our relationship. He was still with his ex and saw her a few times but couldn't resist having sex with her those times.
He told me he was in love with her (she didn't love him) and it was just so hard for him to break it off with her. Finally he did on his own because he cared about me too much.
We went through 2 months of hell, broke up, and are back together. Would anyone else take him back or do you think the once a cheater clause relates to this case too.
I know how hard it is to break up with someone you love, so I kind of understood. But at the same time I can't understand how he could of done such a thing especially when he took my virginity and I had to break off from my church for dating him.
Always a cheater?
2006-11-21 12:55:31 · 10 answers · asked by Jessie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh my GOSH! I literally just went through almost the exact same thing. I've been with my boyfriend for two years and I found out about two months ago that he slept with his ex (of 4.5 years) once about three weeks into our relationship. He was also my first and I was really religious too. The only difference is that it was he who broke up with her. It put a huge strain on our relationship for a while. I eventually was able to put it behind me, but only having a million fights and eventually a sincere heart to heart, where he cried (for the second time in our relationship) and told me how hard it was for him to tell his ex that he didn't want to be with her anymore while she was crying hysterically and begging him not to leave. I know he has never cheated on me since (we are painstakingly honest with each other). I only share all this because I can understand how hard it must have been to break ties with someone.
Try to think about if you two broke up for good. Would you be able to let him go? Would you maybe sleep with him for a while, not necessarily out of love, but guilt and what's comfortable? It's really hard to break up and then be emotionally disconnected as well. I say give him a chance.
I don't know if I answered your question or not, because only you truly know what is right, but you aren't alone, at least know that much for sure.
2006-11-21 13:04:57 · answer #1 · answered by Flip L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that is a interesting one. You wont know if he is a continual cheater until you are together again. In the end, you have to trust him. He will either cheat on you, or he wont. I do commend his effort for doing what is right and letting her go and moving on in his life. That to me is a significant step to being committed to you. He made a mistake but repented from it. Time will tell if he has REMAINED changed. She was his heart. Remember that. When he slept with her he thought it was through mutual love between them, but it wasn't. She just got free you know what from him. So now that he has dropped her its time for you to take her place. You have seen that through her he can love mightily and so it might as well be you that he loves and cares for. I really hope that works out for you. :)
2006-11-21 13:04:39 · answer #2 · answered by Wheres the Rum Gone? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. Do you think he is worth your time and energy? You don't want to be the rebound girl. I can't believe he would take your virginity knowing he was still in love with another. I think his morality is in question. I'm not so sure that he cares for you as much as you would like. I think you should keep your options open. There is someone out there who will love you and treat you with the respect you deserve.
2006-11-21 13:05:10 · answer #3 · answered by beccaboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a cheater always a cheater defiantly applies if he cared about u so much he wouldnt of done it in the first place, and what happens if this girl comes back and wants some what do u think he'll do of course he will cheat i would get rid of him plus u all will always have all of that emotional baggage and lack of trust in between u
2006-11-21 13:01:07 · answer #4 · answered by earthgoddess777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the standpoint of a man who has cheated I can honestly say that " once a cheater" does not always apply. Take him back if you want his actions will tell you if he changes or not. I would not give him a 3rd chance though.
2006-11-21 13:11:00 · answer #5 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-04 05:39:26 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i want to say ...once a cheater ..always a cheater
but for some reason i feel that you should give him one more chance
if he does it again or you even think he is doing something wrong
kick him to the curb
2006-11-21 13:05:44 · answer #7 · answered by Bren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the guys that cheated on my cheated again. Go with your heart.
2006-11-21 13:00:24 · answer #8 · answered by ladiebugg81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most likely he will hurt you again. He's already seriously disrespected you and the trust he expected you to have in him.
2006-11-21 13:05:07 · answer #9 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow ur heart
2006-11-21 13:01:22 · answer #10 · answered by JoJo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋