Occasionally my husband will leave to go to his computer while I am still eating my dinner. I have told him a few times that this bothers me, but again he did it tonight. When I told him this time that it bothered me when he did that, he was upset that I had an issue with that since he brought the meal home (take-out). I told him that it doesn't matter which person provides the meal, but that it was rude to leave the other person to finish eating their meal alone. He doesn't think it is rude. I asked him, "If we weren't married and you took someone out on a date, would you leave her before she finished her meal?" He said "No, but that is a DATE." So, I said, "But I am your WIFE."
Is it rude to leave when the other person hasn't yet finished their meal? If not, why do I find this offensive? I can't even explain to him why this bothers me other than to say it just feels disrespectful.
Thank You :-)
2006-11-21 12:46:25 · 21 answers · asked by SingingChimp 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
it is always good to wait a little and talk a little more until everybody finish
:> peace
.
2006-11-24 17:38:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hate to tell you this, but it does sound as if your husband is being disrespectful of your by leaving the table before you are finished eating. It is rude and bad manners, and there is no other way to look at this.
I am a bit more concerned about the fact that he is treating you in a manner less than what he would treat a date. He needs to be valuing you and your relationship as his wife more than he would value a date.
Is he on the computer for necessary reasons that are work related,? or is he just wasting time on there and ignoring you??? You need to talk to him at a time when he is away from the computer and really make him understand that this is serious to you and he needs to work on being more respectful of you and your marriage.
Good luck and have a good night.
2006-11-21 12:59:15 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my home we turn the TV off for dinner and no one eats until everyone is seated and the blessing has been said. No one gets up until everyone finishes eating. If someone has something that they feel is important homework etc. then they ask to be excused and they can go. I think it is shows respect for me having slaved over the stove. Also I feel that dinner is the only time that we can sit as a family and enjoy each others company. Sometimes my husband does not want to sit at the table because of a game or he wants to leave early but he always asks to be excused. He was raised that way as was I. Maybe your husband was not raised like that but just explain to him that you enjoy his company and that dinner is an important time for you. I don't see why he wouldn't do it if he knew how important it was to you.
2006-11-21 12:58:30 · answer #3 · answered by Sugar Plum Fairy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems possible that you and your husband have different expectations for what should happen at mealtime. Perhaps he just sees it as a time to eat and provide his body with nourishment, while you might see it as a time to spend time together. Therefore, if he has completed getting his nourishment,he might think that he's done and leave, while you feel disappointed because you didn't spend that much time together.
The only way to find out this is true, of course, is to talk to your husband and tell him that you are disappointed and you're not sure why. You'll have to work it out together. You might also want to find a good marriage and family therapist to help you work on your communication. I think Sue F has the right idea.
2006-11-21 18:55:19 · answer #4 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very rude. If you have a spouse there is no reason why you should eat alone. If you are single and at home alone, then that's how it is. He should eat at the same pace as you and end the dinner together, not leaving you to eat alone. If he really won't change, try eating faster than him and leave him to eat alone everytime. How about when having sex, you get up to go before he has the orgasm........that should teach him.
2006-11-21 22:16:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is rude BUT it is also a back-handed compliment as well. He feels comfortable enough with you to do what he wants. Is the fact that he leaves the table when you are still eating bothering you or the fact that you miss him & want to spend time with him and he just doesn't get it? Tell him why it bothers you. He knows its rude but he doesn't know why. Talk to him! Good Luck.
2006-11-21 19:52:38 · answer #6 · answered by Julia B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, it is rude
When eating out with my relative at a Restaurant, she will get up and go sit in the car while I am eating. Oooooooh! it pisses me off. It's like I came to eat this all by myself and people will stare. Sooooo rude! Especially when eating at home.... see, I treasure moments like that with either significant others or family because it is priceless and the only time you can spend with them if you are a busy person. Evidentally, they or he don't see it that way. Ask him if he is married to the PC or you.
Happy Gobble!
2006-11-21 19:41:49 · answer #7 · answered by itsme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is disrespectful and like he'd rather be on his computer than eat with you. Does he even tell you he's leaving? Does he come back before you finish eating? If not, then that's pretty rude too.
2006-11-21 12:54:00 · answer #8 · answered by Tee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
proper manners or even at the worst resturant in the world when one wants to leave the table they must ask if it is ok with the others seated to be excused from the table
normally the answer should be yes or replied to as i would appreciate it they stayed while i complete my meal
its kinda rude for him to just get up and walk away
2006-11-21 13:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You find it offensive because it's rude and disrespectful.
But there's something you can do to get back at him...rather than fix his plate for him, fix yours & your children (if you have them) and leave him to feed himself. Better still, an even better thing to do would be to serve him his dinner at his workstation and close the door behind you once you leave.
The isolation technique will work.
2006-11-21 12:57:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is rude and bad etiquette and your husband should be respecting your wish out of love however I mean how mong have you been married? Don't make a huge deal out of something small. I mean I'm not married but if you're just at home and you're married then it seems a little too casual to be worrying abou the rules of etiquette.
2006-11-21 12:57:37 · answer #11 · answered by loved16 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋