ok this is a long sorted story but here's the short version
when i was 15 i found out that my dad had molested my sisters.
that not being worse enough my mom knew and never did anything about it they are still together to this day.well they where not suportive parents to me and my sisters either like saying "you can't go to college,you stupid asses,I wish i had 4 sons instead of 4 sluts for daughters (beleive me we were not sluts) so a few months ago i saw them and they treated me like crap again then they are complaining why i don't let them see my kids . my point is i could never let my kids go to their house knowing that my dad is capable of doing anything to either of them.but now my mom is in complete denile about any of the abuse she and my dad afficted on us do you think i'm doing the right thing about keeping my kids away from my parents? and when should i tell them(my kids) about their grandfather? my kids are 8 and 12
2006-11-21 12:11:56 · 16 answers · asked by vtpatbrat 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
the molesting happend almost 45 years ago to my 2 sisters.I was just fortunate enough to get the verbal abuse.
2006-11-21 12:18:44 · update #1
would you want to know if you where my kid?
2006-11-22 05:06:03 · update #2
Your life sounds similar to mine minus the verbal abuse. My mom stayed w/ my dad after finding out he had molested me. I think he was part of the reason I chose not to have children. He died this year (that was very surreal too, having to help take care of your abuser). If he were still living I don't believe I could put my children around him. If my parents were like yours, I don't think I'd take my kids around either of them. I'm not an expert on kids, but I would assume that they would understand if you told them that your parents didn't treat you guys as "normal" parents should and that you feel that they are better off without them in their lives.
2006-11-21 12:19:20 · answer #1 · answered by E B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell the authorities. If he is capable of doing it his own child he could do it someone Else's. He is a predator and should be stopped. You are doing the right thing by keeping your kids away from both of them. I don't see how a mother could let her own child go through such trauma. My advice to you would be never even contact them again. You or your children don't need to be around anybody like them. Good luck in whatever happens in your life and I hope you keep making the right choices.
2006-11-21 20:19:26 · answer #2 · answered by hotredblnd788 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are ABSOLUTELY right to keep your kids away from your parents!!! They have no right to see them, and can't be trusted with children, obviously.
Your kids may not be ready to hear details about their grandparents. But at this age, you can tell them in a general way that you do not allow them to see them because their grandparents have done some really bad, hurtful things. You may elaborate that they are not responsible enough to be around children, and that they harmed you and their aunts. Tell them that when they are a bit older, you may give more detail, but for now, this is what you feel they can handle.
2006-11-21 20:18:11 · answer #3 · answered by from HJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Yeah, I recommend that you keep your kids at a distance. I don't know anything about parenting, I'm 15 years old, but if I have any say in this, I recommend keep your distance. I don't know when you could tell them about everything. Maybe you just shouldn't at all. Well, I probably haven't helped much, but you have my sympathy. Do whatever feels right to you. Good luck.
2006-11-21 20:18:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep them away from your parents. Don't tell the kids now .. they are too young. Wait at least 4-5 years if you feel they must know.
... and I agree with the first answer ... if you can still file charges, DO IT!
2006-11-21 20:15:49 · answer #5 · answered by MyPreshus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pick up the phone and talk to them. some people change, some people dont. find out if they really have changed, but dont take them to their house, ever. perhaps have them over to your house if you feel you can trust them enough, but DO NOT let ur kids out of ur sight when he is there. as for your kids knowing about what their grandfather did, 16. Keeping things from your kids is wrong, and they need to know so if he hasnt changed, and he comes over to your house, they know what to do.
2006-11-21 20:23:17 · answer #6 · answered by Poptart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them that their grandpa is not a good person, and they should not be around him...on another note, you and your sisters need to get together and turn your as* hole father into the authorities. Your Mom is just as bad, since she knew all along. Sorry your parents are such jerks.
2006-11-21 20:17:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a difficult situation you are in. Your first and most important job is to protect your children, follow your gut feeling on this one.
2006-11-21 20:18:13 · answer #8 · answered by Josie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell your kids when you think they are ready to handle the truth but sometime in their lifes they might say mommy where is our grandparents
2006-11-21 20:17:17 · answer #9 · answered by E. I 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should call the police and ask about the statute of limitations for filing charges.
2006-11-21 20:15:12 · answer #10 · answered by autumn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋