OK here is the deal I have a friend and she cuts her arms and wrist just to take the stress of her day away because her parents abuse her and beat her all the time even for things she has not done, they just do it to revelive their stress. I told her it is wrong what she is doing but she didn't listen. Today I saw her in the bathroom cutting herself. I hate what she is doing and I don't know what to do she has been to a few councilors but she still does it. What can I do to help my friend cause one of these days she may turn to suicide!
2006-11-21 12:08:35 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
well first of all you may want to realise that her cutting herself may not just be to "releive stress" it could also be because she blames herself for things that go wrong in her life (even if they are not her fault) as far as her stopping you can't make her stop (one of the very unfortunate things about it... she is the only ine who can make her stop. I started cutting when i was 14 because i blamed myself for everything, my mom my best friends even my boyfriends begged, pleaded and threatened me to get me to stop... well i am now 19 and up until a few weeks ago when i found out i am pregnant the urge still took over sometimes. The baby is the only reason i can say i stopped for sure now. (given it did slow up once i got to be about 16.) Just try to tell your friend that what she is doing is hurting you and try to help her find other ways of getting rid of frustration, like writing, running, singing, taking a bath, crying, anything besides this.... the scars are very unattractive and later will make her feel a little worse about herself when she stops cutting and still has the scars... mine bother me ALOT
2006-11-21 12:16:21 · answer #1 · answered by NewMommy!!! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you've done two things wrong here. One, you've told your friend that what she is doing is wrong----this may or may not be true, but it is definitely not your place to tell her that she is doing anything 'wrong'. She has been handling her pain in a way that she doesn't think is harmong anyone but herself, and she doesn't need you to give her the guilt trip over it. It's not fair to try to pull off a moral judgement when your real goal is just to get her to talk.
Secondly, you have not told the right people that her parents are abusing her. This needs to be done now. If you can't get her to tell a counselor for herslf, then YOU need to go to to a counsellor yourself and tell him or her what is going on. I don't care if your friend likes this or not. She needs to be in a place where she is safe, and that is FAR more important than what she ever thinks of you.
2006-11-21 12:18:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I saw something on TV about people who do this and you are right, she needs to see a professional. It ends up being something completely beyond her control. It's good she has you to talk to, but it is too much for even you. Of course she needs to get out of the home she is in too, that doesn't help at all. Tell her to get a punching bag or something else besides herself to relieve her stress, if she won't go see a counselor. The counselor is the only permanent solution though. Good luck!
2006-11-21 12:15:42 · answer #3 · answered by bible 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your friend needs to see a therapist, a psycholigist, a family doctor, and possibly get meds for depression. it takes a lot of support and therapy to stop cutting. cutting is addictive, and can be dangerous. she could end up cutting too deep and accidentally kill her self. She needs several good reasons to stop, and an alternative outlet for her pain and stress. there are several websites dedicated to helping yourself or a loved one in the journy to healing. Some of the sites have lists available of satisfying things to do besides cutting. Most of all, you need to tell an adult. Tell the school counselor, tell a youth pastor, Tell someone who can help. Call a hotline. She needs professional help asap. I know all of this because i used to be a cutter.
2006-11-21 12:30:02 · answer #4 · answered by Dora Lou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok this is how it is for me. i pretty much have the same thing going on in my life as she does but im not abused from my parents i am abused from kids at school with words and i hate it cuz i didnt do any thing to deserve their hatred or ne thing but i still have to take it and it seems like their is nothing i can do to stop it. so i do cut and i abuse my slef in different ways then that too i knwo i shouldnt but i feel like it is my fault when they do treat me like that and i cant stop myself from doing it i just feel like they hurt me in a way and i have to finish that hurt off. and i have alos thought of suicide i dont know if i ever will do it. but most of the reason i am this way is cuz i just want some one to love me. and i want a friend a true friend who really does care for me not a boy friend not my parents i just want a friend. i want to tell them my feelings i want to let it out in words and just put my pain some where else. i cant cary it any more so it has brought me to doing this even thou i know its wrong.
so id say if u really do want to help ur friend just be there for her cancle every thing out just for her listen to what she says cry with her and hold her try to make her laugh point out good things when things are going bad for her. i know thats what i want but i dont have a friend like that around for me. just be a firend to her and keep telling her u love her and tell her she hurts u too when she does that stuff.
2006-11-21 12:24:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to get some help. She may have borderline personality disorder. Common problem for people who have been abused. She needs to get to someone who understands how to help. You should validate her feelings. She is doing this to relieve her emotional pain. Let her talk things out with you if she will. Encourage her to get help!
2006-11-21 14:48:32 · answer #6 · answered by kar506 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup, she must have depression. I had that a month ago. cheer her up. its very stressful. do something special. talk to her because she may need a phsycyatrist. they really help. I have to take pills every day, but hey, at least im not cutting myself anymore!!!!!
2006-11-21 12:20:45 · answer #7 · answered by Sabrina C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most people who self-harm do not turn to suicide. They do not wish to die but rather do it to feel the short amount of relief they get from cutting themselves. She should definately be admitted to a hospital before it gets worse and see a psychiatrist.
2006-11-21 12:14:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, she has to help herself, and you cant place blame on yourself if she does kill herself, but if she is getting abused, call family services, she has the right to live in a happier home, and not get beat on.
2006-11-21 12:13:00 · answer #9 · answered by Grandma of six 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar spot as your friend
2006-11-21 13:22:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋