Is Reunion between birthfamilies/adoptees a 'right'?

Question

i am an adoptee and everyone think that i NEED to heal by reunion. unfortunately, i was hunted down by my bmom and it ended in an ugly matter and i cut all ties with her.

since then, i've been on sites where people think reunion who feel it is their right . .adoptees feel they have a right to know (with a disregard for the bparents who do not want reunion); if the bparent says NO, then the adoptee contacts the legitimate children and blows the bparents secret out of the water and they are not always greeted well . ..

and bparents feel they have a right to know the decision they made was 'correct' . .what makes it correct? if the relinquished child turned out the way they wanted? works in an office instead of a factory? and if it 'wasn't' right, then what are you going to do about it?

weren't the records sealed? how do these 'search angels' access databases/information with your private info? should court records remain sealed?

Answer 1

Yep, it's quite a pickle. Everyone involved should be afforded their privacy and the right to their decision. That said the other party involved should respect how the other feels. It's really hard when each side wants it their way, the records are sealed for a reason and should be kept that way. The only way people should be contacted is if both parties have indicated (to a unknown third party) there is interest. It's not right for any family member to be "outed" in a adoptive sense, it should be agreed upon all around. But i do agree with you , that although the bp, may be hopeful their child succeeded in life, they gave up the right to that information when they relinquished their child and have to accept that they lived their life with their own family.

Answer 2

Honestly, I think an adopted child has every right to know who their birth parents are... though it should be warned that the BP might not want the same, the child still has the right.
BP on the other hand shouldn't have the right, why should they, they gave up their rights to know the child a long time ago. As far as the secret being blown out of the water, oh well, like I said, it was their choice to begin with.
So to sum it up, its a right for the child, but not the parent.

Answer 3

I disagree with who's right it is. Our children are adopted and I will support their decision on making or accepting contact with BP. Having said that, I would hope that my parenting would have made an impact on them and be aware of all involved people and their feelings, and if the BP's are reluctant, they need to respect that, likewise, if my children are reluctant, I will support them. In the end, I do not believe that adopted children NEED to Heel by Reunion. In fact, as you know, it can be damaging. I would never enforce that nor recommend it. But I also wouldn't discourage others from doing it. It's a personal choice, with perhaps a bit of guidance and lots of support from the family.

Answer 4

yes