Is it bad that I hurt myself to prevent hurting others?

Question

I'm 17 and I try very hard not to hurt other people but I get pissed off pretty easy and I just cant take the pressure
(and anfer management is not an option)

Answer 1

Its hard, I know from experience, you need someone to talk about it with, someone you trust or who knows from experience, if you want to talk more heres my email [e-mail],, I can help if you want because I'm going through the same thing and I know its tough. I'm 16

Answer 2

Why is anger management not an option? That is what you seem to need. It's good that you try hard not to hurt other people but you need to find a more constructive way of chanelling your anger. Running (or other exercise), hitting a punching bag, relaxation techniques, and sharing your feelings with the people you are angry at are better ways of dealing with your anger. If you can not take an anger management class, then I suggest you read some books on anger management.

Answer 3

You are in the right place mentally to move onto the next stage to woo your wife :o) Nows the part where you take action! Tell her you are very serious about having a loving and affectionate marriage. Tell her you want both of you to enroll with a counselor and work through all the stuff that has happened. Now start treating her affectionately. Tell her you love her often, tell her she looks so beautiful. Tell her that you think her quirky behavior is so cute when she does it. Stroke her hair, her back, run your fingers over her arms softly during a movie. It's the small things that all add up and show her throughout the day how much you really do appreciate her. Take her out to nice dinner, then dancing! (if you can dance with your health condition). Go do fun stuff, go fly a kite together, get ice cream together as a treat etc. you see where I am going with this.

Answer 4

I used to do that when I was a teenager, but it was because I had a bad self image and hated myself. I did self mutliation instead of committing suicide. Do you feel you have no control over your emotions, like you are 'another person'? If so you may have a chemical imbalance. If you can, go to a public library and find the book, "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalai Lama. It helped me a LOT with my road rage, believe me I really NEEDED that. You need to use your mind to combat your emotions, think before you act. I know it is hard to do, especially at first but if you are diligent and keep at it (constantly), you will get better. Meditation and Yoga also helps with stress and anger as well. I used to like getting angry and mad, it made me feel powerful, but it was just an illusion. I hope this has helped.

Here is also a neat website that may give you a different perspective on what the world is about: http://www.muse-net.com

Answer 5

No, it's not bad. Perhaps a bit misguided, but definately not bad. You are "channeling your anger" back towards yourself which is actually a very big part of the anger management process. Now all you need to do is have an outlet for the anger once it reaches you. Before you hurt yourself, you just need to remember to take an object, like a PILLOW, & pretend it is you & beat the he// out of that pillow. Tear it, rip it, cut it, whatever you need to do to release your anger that you would nomally take out on your own body. Soon, you will notice that you can feel almost as relieved as you would have if you still were hurting yourself, without actually doing it! It takes some practice, but a person CAN do it without taking the anger management courses. You are actually a very gifted person who has made it through some extremely difficult trials in your life. The mere fact that you even recognize you are pissed shows that you still have insight & self-love. You are on the right path. Stay where you feel safe. Take it slow. Eventually, that pillow can be re-named to represent the person you are angry at & you can take yourself out of the pllow & back into reality, without the fear of losing control & hurting another person. Many people do this on a daily basis & no one knows it but them! It's normal for many of us to hate other humans & have to work with them without smacking them off the face of this earth!

Answer 6

it is bad to do this ( i did for years) it ends up wearing down on both your self esteem and your mental health in general. You are probably like me in the fact that you avoid conflict (which can be a very good thing sometimes) but instead of avoiding the conflict and letting the anger simmer inside you you should find another way of letting go of your anger. some ideas would be: writing, singing, running, swimming, talking to someone close to you (or an animal or yourself- talking to yourself is only crazy if someone over hears you), taking a bath, and pretty much anything else that is going to relax you. Just don't let what other people do affect how you see yourself.

Answer 7

You need to figure out why you are so angry and work on ways to deal with this anger in positive ways. Anger management has to be an option if you want to have a good quality life.

Hurting yourself only causes you to have more anger. It may feel like you're releasing the anger when you do it but it's only temporary. You have to learn to respect yourself and see that you don't deserve to be hurt just as no one else deserves it. Self harm can only make anger become worse and more internalized.

Find someone you trust that you can talk to about this. If you have a family doctor then get an appointment and have them refer you to a therapist who can help you.

There's no shame in asking for help, in fact it takes a lot of courage and determination but if you want to change your life for the better you can.

Also, read through this site on self-harm, it has a lot of good information.
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+self-harm.htm

Take care of yourself

Answer 8

It is terrible that you hurt yourself, no matter the reason. I know about temper problems, I have some issues of my own. There's a good chance that some type of depression medication could help. I think that it calms the nerves a bit and makes you so you're not so defenseful. Please don't hurt yourself for any reason...even talking to a close friend about your anger may help you sort through it and you may even find a reason behind it in the mean time. Good luck.

Answer 9

Jordan is right, we need to know what you mean by "hurting yourself" before we could even begin t give you a proper answers.

You mention that anger management is not an option, are you anticipating that that would be a reasonable suggestion?

May we know why such a suggestion is not an option please?

If you would like to, you can edit your question to add more details.

Answer 10

yes, i hurt myself to avoid harming anyone else, but that landed me in the mental hospital. go to the gym and punch a bag for a while. thats the best anger management and stress control i found. yoga has helped me calm down and now i dont hurt myself so much cuz i take it out with the punching.

Answer 11

i do the same thing. its bad i know that and some times i go way beyond the limit and hurt my slelf way to much but it is just to keep my anger under controll so i dont get in a fight or any thing cuz at school i have alot of crap going on all these girls are talking s*** so i dont know i really dont i wish i could help but first i need help with me too