I am a single mother of one. Sometimes friends will ask me to do things at the last minute and I can't because of work commitments or because I can't get a babysitter. I feel bad about this and try to explain why I can't, but lately I've noticed some people have stopped asking me to do things unless it is something with quite a bit of notice.
None of my friends have children, so I don't expect them to understand fully. Does anyone else ever have this problem?
2006-11-21 11:39:09 · 6 answers · asked by Not_a_toothless_pirate 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
All the time! Sometimes even parents who HAVE kids who have easy access to grandparents and sitters or the other spouse don't understand why I can't just up and go, or why I can't take so much vacation time....I can't afford it! Sometimes I just start crying because I'm frustrated. I'm a mother, not dead, and people need to remember that. If they want to include you, and they should, they should make sure that part of the time they give you a few days (heck, a week!) to prepare. If they don't do that at least once in a while, you need to find more considerate friends who, even if you can't join them, don't hurt you with impossible invitations...which are almost as embarassing and painful as not being invited at all.
2006-11-21 11:50:16 · answer #1 · answered by tmiller 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not a single mom but my sister is and she has shared her fears of this with me. I will tell you the same thing i told her. Make friends with children or ask them out when you know you can. Why wait to be asked? You deserve just as much fun as any girl your age so get out there. Find a babysitter. You can do it. and don't feel guilty. Kids love sitters they get away with more. Good luck to you and you sound like a really great mom.
2006-11-21 19:48:13 · answer #2 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even with my boyfriend now I still often have the same problem. He works a lot and since I am a stay-at-home mom now I babysit fairly often for a little bit of extra money. So, when it comes to a lot of things I need lots more notice than some others do. Unfortunately I have lost touch with a number of friends because of this, but all my real true friends have simply grown accustomed to it and do what they can to help include me - even with my hectic schedule and need for notice. It helps to find friends with similiar situation, too.
2006-11-21 21:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by magen n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what you are saying and i had the same fear and i told my friends this.and not just when they asked you to do something but i felt weird being the only mother in the group when we would go to each others house to just hang out and watch a movie that when my baby would start crying i would take her to another room to NOT DISTURB anyone.but after i talked to my friends they told me they had no problem with my baby coming and they loved it cause they got to play with her.even now if i do get to go somewhere alone they ask me why i didn't bring her they kinda get upset.but i wouldn't tell you to get new friends cause if they are really your friends they will have no problem with it cause your friends will understand that you still love to do things with and for them but you have another life that depends on you for everything hope that helps and good luck
2006-11-21 20:10:23 · answer #4 · answered by strawberry36445 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get it alot but its ok they will realise when they have a baby just what u went through and by that time ur child will be older and u will be able to go out more and they will be feeling the same as u r now
2006-11-21 21:04:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i get this all the time. i am a single mother with two lil' ones. it is normal for them to not understand entirely. and they may eventually stop calling you. i suggest setting up one night a month to hang out with all your friends. being a single mom you need a night to yourself once in a while
2006-11-21 20:17:31 · answer #6 · answered by maggie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋