my ex girlfirend is pregnant and wants to have an abortion and i dont want her to have an abortion.?

Question

Basically we separated and still see eachother. when she found out she was 7 weeks pregnant. i told her we should work our problems out stay together and have the child... i offered to buy everything the baby needed cover bills while shes outta work and work hard to stay together and raise the child i love her more than anything but she just doesnt want the child wants to get rid of it and we go our seperate ways. Does anyone have any suggestions? something i can do maybe something i can say? theres gotta be something i can do?

Answer 1

Tell her how you feel, but ultimately it is not your body or your choice. You were not having sex with the intention of procreation therefore you had no agreement about this potential person. You gave up your sperm for an orgasm. It belongs to her now and if she doesn't want to go through the trauma of pregnancy and child birth, you would be a sick f*ck to force it on her. Support her decision and be glad that it's not your body that has to go through that crap.

Also, there is no need to hate her or try and make her feel guilty. The quality of a persons life is much more important than the potential child. You obviously do not love your ex/girlfriend.

A fetus is not a person. An abortion is an ordeal. It's a physical pain and hormonally annoying! If you hit her when she's down, you're only making the world a shittier place to live in. Hatred is not the way to live your life. Be a man. Accept it. Care for your partner and support her.

Answer 2

Wait a minute, you need to step back and rethink this. Abortion by any method really would be a huge mistake. Abortions can indeed sometimes give physical complications and problems with future pregnancies such as miscarriages being more likely. Common side effects (which can last up to two months) can include abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and bleeding. Some experience even worse complications. A lot of real guilt and shame often can come with an abortion. Perhaps it is for this reason that many relationships end not too long after an abortion is done. No matter who the father is of the baby. The other day a girl on Yahoo Answers commented that she could not stop crying ever since she had her abortion. Another girl on Yahoo Answers recently wrote, "I was 9 weeks pregnant and had an abortion a couple of days ago. I had a medical abortion where they brought on a miscarriage and I had to use toilet pans when I needed the toilet so they could examine everything. I saw the tiny fetus just laying there perhaps just over an inch long. It actually broke my heart and it's been haunting me with regret ever since. My boyfriend came in the room because I screamed and he saw it as well and he's been extremely sad about it.” Just the other day a guy on Yahoo Answers shared what happened after he got his girlfriend pregnant: “I pressured her into having an abortion against her will. She begged me to let her keep the baby and said we could raise it together as a family, but I harshly said no, then dumped her right after the abortion. I feel awful guilt about it still, cause after the abortion she fell into a deep depression and became a chain smoking nervous wreck, smoking like three or four packs a day and popping pills all the time. The guilt drove me to a drinking problem I still struggle with today…” But you can avoid this pain and heartbreak. By her having your child (either this time or if she gets pregnant in the future) it is no small aspect that you can go for the rest of your life knowing that you gave that child the chance to live out his or her life. The life of that child in her is more important than any life plans you may have which could be delayed but also could still go on nevertheless. By keeping the baby or putting him/her up for adoption you will choosing life for him or her and you are making a right decision. You can look at adoption if you really think you would not want to raise this child. Abortion is in no way necessary at all! There are millions of good couples waiting years to adopt and it can often be arranged to meet your hospital birth expenses if that need is there. If you want free over the phone counseling about your situation (advice which can be more helpful and personal than the brief answers here) in all this you can call Bethany Pregnancy Services toll free 1-800-238-4269. Tell them about your situation. I think they can provide you with real help and advice. You have nothing to lose by calling them. All the best.....

Answer 3

Sorry, but it's out of your hands. She's your ex-girlfriend for a reason. Why would you do an 'about-face' and now want to raise a child with her?

I'd support her decision to have the abortion and move on. You will meet the right lady to start a family with some day.

I guarantee that if you guilt and/or manipulate her into having the baby, that child will not have a good life. No matter how hard you try - if you force something like this, it will only breed resentment and drama.

Answer 4

My friend was just in a similar situation and there is really nothing you can do. It's up to the woman to get an abortion performed. My friend's ex-girl didn't even tell him about the abortion until after she had it done.

But, I would still urge with her not to have an abortion. Maybe even suggesto to her that you would take full custody of the baby afterwards if she didn't want anything to do with it. I wouldn't try to get back together with her. You might be actually pushing the abortion on her this way, just because if she thinks she has the baby, she will have to deal with you for the rest of her life, especially if she doesn't want to.

Answer 5

Coming from a woman's perspective there is not much to change her mind. she has to want to keep this child and make this decision on her own. You never mentioned how old she is because this makes a big difference. If she's very young then she is probably overwhelmed with the situation but if she is old enough then it sounds like she is not committed to you and therefore has no commitment to this unborn child. It's an unfortunate situation but she sounds very clear about having an abortion. Do you really want to be a woman who is this selfish and willing to have an abortion because she is not willing to commit? Pressuring her will only make matters worse. If she is not ready to be in a relationship with you and not ready to commit her life to this child then she's probably better off. Adoption is another option for both of you. You should have her seek some type of advice from someone that she trusts because this decision will be with her forever.

Answer 6

I have something for her to read.....
Month One

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.



Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.



Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.



Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.



Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?



Month Six


I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!




Month Seven


Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?



Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Answer 7

I'm sorry but the decision is pretty much up to her. All you can do is tell her how you feel. But the cold hard reality is, is that when your sperm left your body & entered hers, it became her choice ultimately. It is her body & she will have the final decision about HER body & her future. If she's not ready to be a parent, you should respect her decision, you don't have to agree with her decision or like it, but respect it & support it. It's HER decision. She doesn't need a lot of harsh judgement, she will need support & understanding. This is not a cavalier or easy decision to make & I'm sure she's thought long & hard about it. I wish you both well.

Answer 8

Curse her out why in the hell would she wanna take sum1's life. she might as well go 2 jail 4 murder. STOP HER NOW!!!!!!!!! I mean think about it would she like it if her mom got an abortion and killed her?But i didn't mean 2 say anything 2 offend u or her but a got wat i had 2 say out in my nicest way possible

Answer 9

I agree with Tutie, but I think abortions are cruel and unessicary (sorry about my bad spelling), if she doesn't want it and you do, tell her you'll take it after its born. And if that doesn't work, put it up for adoption!

Answer 10

OMG.....tell her to give birth.....and you should raise the child and have your exgirlfriend take care of him/her every now and then