is there anyone who can give me advice on stopping my ex from aboarding our child?
2006-11-21 11:14:04 · 15 answers · asked by JAY P 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Wow...would she consider having the baby and giving you full custody? Unfortunately, I don't know how much you can do about it. I hope everything works out for you! Good luck!
2006-11-21 11:18:12 · answer #1 · answered by Renee B 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wait a minute, you need to step back and rethink this. Abortion by any method really would be a huge mistake. Abortions can indeed sometimes give physical complications and problems with future pregnancies such as miscarriages being more likely. Common side effects (which can last up to two months) can include abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and bleeding. Some experience even worse complications. A lot of real guilt and shame often can come with an abortion. Perhaps it is for this reason that many relationships end not too long after an abortion is done. No matter who the father is of the baby. The other day a girl on Yahoo Answers commented that she could not stop crying ever since she had her abortion. Another girl on Yahoo Answers recently wrote, "I was 9 weeks pregnant and had an abortion a couple of days ago. I had a medical abortion where they brought on a miscarriage and I had to use toilet pans when I needed the toilet so they could examine everything. I saw the tiny fetus just laying there perhaps just over an inch long. It actually broke my heart and it's been haunting me with regret ever since. My boyfriend came in the room because I screamed and he saw it as well and he's been extremely sad about it.” Just the other day a guy on Yahoo Answers shared what happened after he got his girlfriend pregnant: “I pressured her into having an abortion against her will. She begged me to let her keep the baby and said we could raise it together as a family, but I harshly said no, then dumped her right after the abortion. I feel awful guilt about it still, cause after the abortion she fell into a deep depression and became a chain smoking nervous wreck, smoking like three or four packs a day and popping pills all the time. The guilt drove me to a drinking problem I still struggle with today…” But you can avoid this pain and heartbreak. By her having your child (either this time or if she gets pregnant in the future) it is no small aspect that you can go for the rest of your life knowing that you gave that child the chance to live out his or her life. The life of that child in her is more important than any life plans you may have which could be delayed but also could still go on nevertheless. By keeping the baby or putting him/her up for adoption you will choosing life for him or her and you are making a right decision. You can look at adoption if you really think you would not want to raise this child. Abortion is in no way necessary at all! There are millions of good couples waiting years to adopt and it can often be arranged to meet your hospital birth expenses if that need is there. If you want free over the phone counseling about your situation (advice which can be more helpful and personal than the brief answers here) in all this you can call Bethany Pregnancy Services toll free 1-800-238-4269. Tell them about your situation. I think they can provide you with real help and advice. You have nothing to lose by calling them. All the best.....
2016-05-22 10:35:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... you can't do much more than talk to her about it in a reasonable, calm manner. Telling her she's a murderer... she's a sinner (or any other typical ultra-conservative accusation) is just going to push her away and she'll do what she wants anyway.
From her perspective, if I was her I would not trust you to keep your word and if she is not capable of raising a child or does not feel it right to carry it full-term then what happens if you don't keep your word?? I also think it's a horrendous suggestion to "pretend" to get back together with her until the baby is born. It is not anymore okay to lie to keep her from getting an abortion. To me that is a completely hypocritical answer for any christian (or person that is against abortion) to suggest. NO... it is not okay to lie to get your way. Just talk to her calmly about it, in the end it is her decision.
I would say that if you are that concerned about not having any future girlfriends get an abortion... then you need to take more precautions and talk about it BEFORE you have sex with someone. Use a condom and then you don't have to go thru something like this.
Personally, I doubt I could ever get an abortion... but I do believe this is every woman's choice and do not consider all women wrong for getting one. There are many valid reasons and what a woman does with HER body is not anyone else's business but her and partially the father.
2006-11-21 11:39:29 · answer #3 · answered by KooHara 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can tell her you will take the baby and want sole custody after it is born. You will have to raise the child and support it one way or the other. If she does not want a baby that is her choice to make.
Pregnancy and childbirth is very tough on the body. If she does not want to go through this you should let her make the decision because there are a lot of things she can do while pregnant that can injure the baby. A fetus can feel that it is not want and not nurtured and this is really a bad thing.
2006-11-21 11:24:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a very tough thing. I DO NOT believe in abortion. It is wrong and it is murderous. I think that there are just a couple of ways to stop her, one would be to explain that you want to keep the child and that you are willing to pay all child support and even keep the child after it is born. Another way is that if you are the one who broke it off, then you need to put it back together, just for the sake of the child, then after it is born, you can move on if that is what you want still. I think that would be the best advice I can give you, otherwise you can tell her that these are murderous thoughts and that needs to be dealt with in a reasonable fashion. Talk it out, I am sure she will listen. I think!! Good luck!!
2006-11-21 11:20:36 · answer #5 · answered by fatiima 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
I would think that the only way you could do this is to have her signing a legal document stating that she is the carrier of your baby and you agree to take custody of the baby in return for payment of her medical bills, reasonable related expenses, etc. Sort of like when you contract to adopt a pregnant woman's baby.
Legally, I'm not sure you can "force" her from aborting the baby.
2006-11-21 11:40:37 · answer #6 · answered by katheek77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer to take full custody of the child once it's born and to pay the hospital bills and for her care while she is pregnant. Legally if she wants to she can abort him/her without your say so so your options are limited.
2006-11-21 11:23:05 · answer #7 · answered by sprydle 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That unfortunately is difficult at best if not impossible. You are not married and so your ex does not need your permission.
Have you tried to talk honestly with her and offer her an honest and serious offer that she can't refuse?
I am not sure anyone other than a mental health professional can help you deal with this.
2006-11-21 11:24:11 · answer #8 · answered by Notorious 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just to let you know if your have any part of her abortion, you and her have sin. Abortion is almost a one way ticket to hell, you may have herd this from a lot of people or may not. It will eat at you for a long time if you two do this. Please give the baby away for adoption, don't do this please. IT IS MURDER if you do. I can not do this for you, no one can. Just ask God!!!!! Go to a chruch ask your parents. Do not do this, thats what I woud tell her.
2006-11-21 11:31:07 · answer #9 · answered by Brian Johnson 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Since she is your EX, you don't have much say in the matter.
Are you REALLY sure you want to have the child and be responsible for it 24/7 for the next 18 years.
Have you even REALLY thought about it?
Believe me, your EX has.
Give her a break & leave her alone.
2006-11-21 11:23:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋