I'm unmarried and 5 months pregnant. My parents are still upset with me because i'm not planning on getting married just because i'm expecting a baby. My grandparents are having Thanksgiving dinner at their house this year and asked me to come. Well, yesterday I took some stuff over there and was informed that I'm not to talk about my personal life with anyone on Thanksgiving cause they don't want to offend anyone or cause any family fights. They said if anyone mentions me being pregnant or asks when or if I'm getting married I'm to change the subject. Well, I can be very outspoken at times and I'm not gonna sit back and not defend myself or my reasons for doing things the way I am. Should I even go to Thanksgiving or should I just go to my boyfriends house where I know I'll be accepted without problems?
2006-11-21 11:08:29 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You should go to both. I'm sure everyone in your family is not shallow-minded.
2006-11-23 02:47:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heart at war or Heart at peace - I am not promoting anything to you. I learnt something from the website and I thought I share with you.
Every moment of our lives we have been bombarded with ‘do this’, ‘do that’, ‘don’t do this or that’, ‘this is not right’ or ‘this is wrong’. We live day by day following ‘rules’ of other people and we develop our own ‘rules’ over people who are ‘lesser’ than or ‘against’ us. Do we always have to have an answer to everything? Who do you think is in control? Who do you think is affected? Why is there always someone who losses, or someone who win?
Go ONLY for the thanksgiving. If you encounter anything - change the subject if it is or you sense controversial. If you can't indicate that the subject is of personal and excuse yourself and say you have to attend to other matters (this could probably be said when you arrive at the thanksgiving).
If others wants to be difficult, let them be. Think WIN-WIN. Remember you have a CHOICE.
2006-11-21 11:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by Phillip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go but remember you don't want to start a fight either. Families often get upset when someone gets pregnant and then decides not to get married. So what! You sound like a very smart woman and I don't believe you should have to get married. Remember when the baby comes things will change, they will all love your little blessing. Congrats and good luck on turkey day.
2006-11-21 11:46:16 · answer #3 · answered by terrellsmomma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you've picked a tough spot. I think I would just go to Grandma's, and stay awhile. If things get heated then just calmly ex used yourself and go to your boyfriends. Make sure your not the spot light of conversation. Do you have any cousins your age that you can mingle with? I think if I were you I'd still plan to divide the time between the two places. Make sure your not looking for a fight. If your five months a long, well just your appearance says a lot.
2006-11-21 11:34:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your grandparents invited you over, you should go. Whether or not your parents will be there. Make sure your grandparents tell your parents that you will be there in case they will be. Sounds like your grandparents have accepted your new little bundle. So they need to inform your parents that if they are going to try and start fighting with you over this issue, that they are the ones that will have to leave, NOT you. Bring your boyfriend along with you. Congrats and the best of luck to ya!
2006-11-21 11:15:10 · answer #5 · answered by PfcsBaby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i cant say my situation is similar but I am having problems with my mother at the moment and we are not getting along. She usually calls before now for thanksgiving plans and she has not called this year so i am thinking she is not inviting me. So my husband and I simply made other plans to go out of town to spend thanksgiving with his family this year.
Im hoping that my absence will let my mom know that she is wrong and I am not dealing with it.
2006-11-21 11:28:55 · answer #6 · answered by babyj248 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 17 and i have a two year old, i understand your feelings exactly i would go to my boyfriends house because i don't think you should have to explain yourself or "change the subject"for anyone.
2006-11-21 11:58:13 · answer #7 · answered by Brianna M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes still go but know that if anyone brings it up you are not going to keep quiet and are going to stick up for yourself...When it gets mentioned...try not to make it into a fight...with a calm voice just explain yourself...therefore if theres a fight you cant be blamed because you didnt get angry...
2006-11-21 11:18:12 · answer #8 · answered by hello hello! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound very mature to me. Do what you want to do. If you decide to go speak your mind. Good luck with all that. They will get over it.
2006-11-21 11:13:00 · answer #9 · answered by SKYDOGSLIM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you and your boyfriend swing by both places, your house first then his. It will show that you have support and will make you feel more comfortable.
2006-11-21 11:18:49 · answer #10 · answered by lizoffspring 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋