A "friend" who I had not seen in 2 years, spoken to in about 1 year, and emailed an occassional "hi" recently got married. When she gave her list to her soon to be sister-in-laws they invited me to the bridal shower, which I went to and brought a nice gift. While at the bridal shower it became apparent that I was the only one who was not "in the loop" and I soon learned that the wedding was the next week and was a private ceremony in the bahamas, but that a reception was planned after the bride & groom returned. After the bridal shower my friend pulled me to the side and said she felt bad that she hadn't invited me to the reception/brunch but she hadn't spoken to me in a while, yadda yadda yadda-whatever! She then said she would love for me and my husband to come. A few days later I recieved my mercy invite in the mail and I kindly declined. A few days ago I recieved a card announcing thier marriage. Am I know supposed to send a gift?
2006-11-21 10:52:32 · 22 answers · asked by justwonderin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
no! I totally wouldn't....you already got her a gift, which should totally sufice. I absolutly detest it when people invite people to showers and not weddings....its like saying "hey, we'll sponge a gift off ya, but your not good enough to come to the wedding!" How tacky! I don't understand what the logic is when she can invite you to a shower to give her presents when she hasn't seen ya, but is gonna use the very same excuse not to invite you to the reception. not cool at all. You've done your share, let this one go!
2006-11-22 01:37:34 · answer #1 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gift is not required and you are not obligated to feel bad by not getting them one.
You are not that close of a friend, as already you stated by the time passing between you two. You also were not on the "invite" list originally. To which, I find that abit rude to do a last minute invite and expect a gift still.
I just don't find it justifiable to get her a gift.
However, out of your own kind heart, you can provide one. That is all up to you on what you would like to do.
You already provided one gift. I personally think that is enough to settle on.
2006-11-21 11:24:22 · answer #2 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not obligated. You gave her a nice gift at her bridal shower and that should suffice. She is just trying to make sure she includes you with mailings because I am sure she felt badly that you came to her shower and she hadn't thought of inviting your herself. A card congratulating would be nice if you can do that...prayers =)
2006-11-21 10:57:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do not have any obligation to send a gift. I would just send them a congrats card and leave it at that. You only speak every once in a while and card would say it all. That's all I would expect. If you feel like you need to send a gift. You have up to one year to send. That is the etiquette thing to do. Whatever you decide is what is right.
2006-11-21 10:58:21 · answer #4 · answered by iamwashu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got married fairly recently, and I have NO idea who didn't get me a gift. (Except for this one Uncle that kept saying, I'm gonna get you a gift, I promise . . . it ended up being a combo wedding/birthday gift, cop-out!) Don't feel bad, and they probably won't even notice if you got them a gift or not. Especially if you're not at the wedding. Besides, you already gave them a shower gift!
2006-11-21 11:02:48 · answer #5 · answered by belson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way. If you aren't good enough to be invited to thier wedding/reception thing, then they don't deserve a gift. Sorry, I can be harsh sometimes...but the answer is still NO.
2006-11-21 10:57:30 · answer #6 · answered by lion75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you were invited to the wedding a gift is not required.
It's nice to do but that's not the reason you're invited. You are invited to a wedding to witness and share in their happiness.
In this case you really don't need to send a gift....a nice congratulation card would be nice.
2006-11-21 10:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Of course not! If youre not "in the loop", and all you got was a pity invite, why go through the hassle of getting this friend a gift?
2006-11-21 12:32:58 · answer #8 · answered by Josh-U-A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see it as a "mercy invite"... Perhaps she did want you to come to the reception. I would have gone, and had fun. Send a small gift.
2006-11-21 11:00:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not under any obligation especially if you are not going to the reception. A card may be nice.
2006-11-21 11:02:48 · answer #10 · answered by xox_bass_player_xox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋