This is a toughie, but I've known a girl for about a year and we started dating a month ago. She is really special, but very secretive (hidden phone. etc). The thing is,. 1 day a week she worked in a brothel but has recently stopped. I find that hard to deal with. Do you think I should accept that she has changed, or always have that fear that she may return to it. She kept it secret from her last boyfriend. I really try and deal with it, but there was a time when a 'client' called her on the phone when I was with her. How can I deal with this? Am I wrong to feel bad about it?
2006-11-21 10:17:28 · 36 answers · asked by goodquestion9 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
only if you trust penicillin
2006-11-21 10:20:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You wanted the facts well here they are. You can't trust her now nor will you ever trust in her. You are afraid she is going to have sex with someone other than you. Or heaven forbid she find someone that she will like more than you. Small thinking is what is happening with you. Get over yourself and then get over her. If she trusted you enough to tell you of her past you should also have put enough faith in her words she was done.
Now I have know women who have worked in the sex trade to help put themselves through college. To see them now you would never have known. The reason for her secrecy is simple that she has an issue with being hurt and she didn't want it come out later and you thinking she was a liar. If you can't get your head around the fact that this woman loves you. The answer is simple move on.
She needs someone she can confide in that won't use her past or the trust she places in them to ever hurt her. Be it verbally or physically. But it sounds to me like your not the man for her. Be a gentleman and be honest that you don't think things will work out between you. That way you can both move on with you lives now.
2006-11-21 10:29:36 · answer #2 · answered by groundpilot43061 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is secretive, then stay away from her. A serious relationship must be based on trust and respect. How can you trust someone who is secretive? What else might she be hiding? The best way to judge a person is by their actions, not by their words. Do her actions reflect true change? Furthermore, can YOU deal with her past. How long have you been seeing her? Can you respect her regardless of her past?
2006-11-21 10:24:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right, am i glad i don't have to explain to you how i know the answer to this one! Think about it, do you believe that this girl really loves you? If she doe's there's no way she will go back to her old ways, unless of course she's a drug abuser. Prostitution could never be a more attractive alternative to true love can it? If she was in it for drugs though and still uses then no way, never trust a druggie. Good luck on this one! Seriously.x
2006-11-21 10:26:25 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it's possible, but in this case I think you shouldn't. That call was a sure sign of deception. I think you should always have that fear if stuff like this keeps on goin' on. The only way you could positively deal with something like this is to walk away.
2006-11-21 10:21:33 · answer #5 · answered by UVRay 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, most women go into prostitution to support a drug habit. If she does not have a drug habit then she has to be really money hungry to sell her body. I believe that people can change and maybe she is trying to change, but i would not trust her. There are plenty of nice girls out there looking for a good man-lol.
2006-11-21 10:25:34 · answer #6 · answered by gee-geeofmo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to go with what your gut feelings tell you.I'm not naive but not all prostitutes are the same.The trust issue comes down to you rather than her.If you think she is special give her a chance but with an open mind.Remember prostitution is the easiest job to get into and the hardest job to get out of.
2006-11-21 10:27:03 · answer #7 · answered by Sherzade 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she stays secretive and hides things then dump her but the fact that she told u and wants u to trust her i say give her a chance, and if she hid it from her other boyfriend and trusted u enough to tell u why not?
2006-11-21 10:20:59 · answer #8 · answered by JayNell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hiya!! give the girl a break..not being funny but we've all done things in life that we should'nt have!! ever heard the saying " innocent until proven guilty"... try to relax,talk to her and tell her your fears!! if you love her as much as you say,then forget the past and move on to a better future....why not ask her to change her number so old clients can't get in touch with her?? if she refuses then you have every right to be suspicious!! good luck mate
2006-11-21 10:38:39 · answer #9 · answered by chick07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only way to deal with it is to decide whether this is a deal-breaker for you. If you absolutely can't deal with her selling herself once in awhile, then you'd better break up with her. Especially since she's lied to other boyfriends about it - even if she promised to never do it again, you'd always be wondering.
2006-11-21 10:22:28 · answer #10 · answered by heehaw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think trust is the #1 issue here..
anyone who is in the sex business , for whatever reason, is likely to have some serious emotional and potential mental problems..
if she claims she has changed, ask her why she has changed.. maybe the answer she gives you will help you determine whether or not you can trust her..
2006-11-21 10:23:32 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋