Do you think I'm being a mean girlfriend?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. He just recently got a approved for his first apartment. He told me he couldn't buy me anything for Christmas because he is trying to save and he will have to make it up to me. So I said I'm not buying you anything either. Do you think I'm being mean? I have to save money too you know. Also I don't like the fact that I will tell him things and he goes back and tells his family. I don't think it's any of their concern or business. Do I have a right to be mad at either of these situtations?

Answer 1

Oh girl, hell yea you have a right to be all sorts of upset of these issues!! First off, he should WANT to get you something for Christmas, dispite the fact that he is "trying to safe". Christmas one of the most important holidays when your in a relationship. he seriously needs to get his act together... As for him telling his family sh*t... that is just wrong. You are right, it is none of their buisness or concern!! If he continues this let him know that its the two of you in a relationship not the two of you and his family!!

Answer 2

As far as the gift giving goes. I understand why he couldn't afford to buy you anything. If he was being rude about it sure I'd be mad but you can't make him. He might surprise and buy you something anyway. I've been with my boyfriend for four years now and he's only bought me something for one of our Christmas'. All the rest of the time we never had enough money and would rather spend it on our kids. I do buy him alittle something anyway even though most of the time it was just a card. It's really the thought that counts. I'm more exciting being able to buy him something rather than what he's going to buy me. That's where the love factor comes in I think.
As for the other question. If he feels the need to run off and tell his family everything then it sounds like he is to immature and maybe you should take some time off to let him grow up a bit.

Answer 3

You shouldn't be mad because he is not going to buy you a gift, that is so immature, the man has bills and wants to save. What if he is saving to buy you an engagement ring? Your being selfish may ruin a blessing later on. And if you don't have extra money don't buy him anything, it will not ruin your relationship. If christmas gifts ruin what ya'll have, then ya'll don't have much. Now the family thing, my boyfriend does that same crap, I used to get mad because I am a very private person, but after being around his family more and getting to know all their business, I really stopped caring. You should talk to him about that, because if it something that is just between you two, you should talk to him seriously so he doesn't cross that line again, ya'll gotta have some privacy. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Mean? NO! However just because he wants to save money does not mean that you have to be rude back and say you are not getting him anything either. Why not plan a special night for just the two of you instead of exchanging gifts. Light some candles, make a nice dinner, turn off the phone and cell phones and just be together. Or what about donating your time to a soup kitchen and give someone else the greatest gift ... the gift of time and compassion. If you are understanding and this relationship was meant to be then sooner or later it all comes back and he may just do something really outstanding for you sometime when you least expect it.

Answer 5

ok so first if you tell him things that aren't meant to be told to other people then he has no right to tell anyone. Just tell him it makes you uncomfortable and ask him to stop.

Now about the presents. This year I am too poor to buy anyone presents. Not even my family so I told my boyfriend that I couldnt get him anything. I am still planning on making him a card and possibly writting a love letter (even if guys say they don't care about that stuff we all know they do). I know my BF is going to get me a present because he is being understanding and realizes that if I had the money I would get him a present. I think that giving a present should not depend on whether or not you are going to recieve a present. You don't have to spend a lot of money but get him something to show him that you love him.

Answer 6

Whoa whoa...over the whole apartment thing, no offense, but you were definitely harsh, a little rude, in fact. Gifts are not things that you simply exchange. You give them with all your heart, so in your announced decision to *not* get him a Christmas present JUST BECAUSE he was honest about not being able to afford to get anything for you, was a bit naive.

As for him keeping his family informed, maybe it's just that. Perhaps he has close ties with his family and they like to know how both of you are doing. However, you do have your right to privacy. If there are any topics you feel uncomfortable about him sharing with his family, let him know in advance.

If the two of you make good attempts to communicate, a lot of unneeded issues will clear up. :)

Answer 7

No not really. instead of trying top find a reason to be mad why not try compromise. Agree to no gifts but you can always give each other "favors"-- any type you both could agree on would be fun. --could even bring your relationship up a notch or two. As far as the family business -- tell him how you feel, if its truely personal information then it should be private but if you just dont want him to talk about your relationship at all then you're too insecure. You're not married and that is his family. Don't expect too much or you'll just push him away.

Answer 8

those are 2 different situations that you are feeling the same angery feelings toward, but you need to treat them as 2 things....for the christmas present, if it were me and my bf I'd offer to help, or get him like a small home welcoming gift for his new place, but i don't know yours , he may be a ahole, if so then i wouldn't get him anything either, as for the talking about your conversations, tell him how you feel, and you don't like the invasion, it isn't fair to you bc now you feel like you can't talk ot him and don't feel comfertable with that in a relationship. He SHOULD listen to that, if he doesn't and continues to pass along information that was just meant for you and he < maybe a bf, bc guys talk too> then take a break, show him that your serious about it making you feel uncomfertable and no longer able to talk to him. I'm not saying leave him, but this way you both will learn to trust wach other from that experience or you will learn that he messes that up too......sorry you are feeling this way i hope you cheer up, and always have a gf or something you know you can at least talk to, or hang out, it helps and it makes you realize you can still be happy when you are having fun.

Answer 9

If he is trying to save up for a apartment I don't see why you would be mad..its not the gift of material things that count but what he gives you from his heart. He did say he would give you something later...Your being petty to not give him anything ..maybe you could give him something for his apartment since I'm assuming you will be there allot. As for him telling his family your business you need to talk to him and tell him you don't like that his family knows yours. To please not talk to them about you in certain matters. You should however be happy that he has such a good relationship with them..not all men do.

Answer 10

It depends. Is your bf normally generous? If so, I would give him a break about the gift. If you're saving money too, that's fine. You can both agree not to get each other gifts for Christmas. That isn't what Christmas is about anyway. There's no reason for anyone to be mad about that. However, i would be upset about him discussing your personal conversations with mummy and daddy or anyone else. That is a bit childish.