Shortest I can make it. We love each other. We know it. We've shown it. But she's afraid to move on b/c of something MAJOR in her past that is stuck between us right now. (I think I know what happened but not 100% sure) Now the more we hang out, the more...torn (?) she becomes b/c it's like she wants to get past it but she isn't ready to give up this wall she has up yet and I am the reminder it is there. So what do I do? I have seen the woman I love, and still do occasionally, but often I see this other side of her, which is fun and outgoing but unwilling to commit to anything at all in any area of her life (friends, family, me). I want to be there for her and always will be b/c we are great for each other, but how far can I go? I don't want to fall back into friend zone, I don't want a sex buddy, either, and I certainly don't want to push her away nor do I want to let her get too far away. Anyone else at a loss? Thought I'd also say she is worth every ounce of energy I have in me.
2006-11-21 09:34:10 · 3 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That describes me and my husband...I to was very afraid of a commetnent due to numerous things from my past...Give her time but you also need to let her know where you stand. My husband was persistant in his love for me. I was so uncomfortable that when he would tell me that I would laughout loud...I loved him to but I would not say because I was scared that my wall would come down...Four years later...i still go through things, still have issues...But my wall is down. anytime I start building it back up, he tears it down just as fast... Talk to her...tell her about somethings that may have happened to you. If that dont work come straight out and say,"Look, this is what i think it is..."
2006-11-21 09:43:17 · answer #1 · answered by nekiawhitaker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try finding out what happenned. My guess is someone broke her heart in a major way. Just try to re-assure her that you love her and you want to be there for her.
But sometimes you have to take risks. Ready.
If she keeps playing, before you reach your limit, let her know that you are there for her but whatever it is she keeps hanging on to has nothing to do with you and you will not suffer for another man's mistakes. Then be prepared to stand your ground.
2006-11-21 18:08:53 · answer #2 · answered by Carrie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to talk about her past and maybe one day she will tell u everything,what went wrong........sometimes we dont wanna talk about the past but we have to, so we can move on not stuck there cause we live in present.let her to become her self again, i know its verry long and hard way and maybe ur not ready to do this but u have to try if u love her
2006-11-21 17:42:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋