i dont beleive in spanking , what are some creative methods, you have used?

Question

to disicipline your kids ? ( i know i mispelled a word in their, sorry )

Answer 1

stun gun

Answer 2

It depends on what age you're talking about. Around 3-6 you can use the old "sit in the corner" method (which I guess is like time-out). I used to hate that soooo much. After about 7 you can start taking things away like tv, video games, computer time. Its really not good to threaten punishment...you need to either punish or don't punish b/c if you just threaten them they'll realize that you follow through and they'll test you all the time. Around 11 to 14 is a good age to take away the phone...my parents used to the old babysitter threat (they would tell me they would hire a sitter if I misbehaved one time, I never acted up again after that) You don't want to be the only kid in middle school with a babysitter!

I'm not against a good old fashioned spanking though. When I think back to all the times I got a spanking...I totally deserved it. Although I don't think spanking should be used after like age 12...it really doesn't do anything...it hurts more to have stuff taken away!

Answer 3

Good for you for not wanting to spank! I have worked in a preschool/kindergarten for over 12 years and, of course, cannot spank or I would be out of a job. Spanking is a form of punishment, not a form of discipline. Parents need to discipline their children. Not hurt them for them to comply. Spanking a child only teaches that you are more powerful than them and that you hurt others so that they will comply with your wishes. Children who are spanked are fearful of their parents and will only comply in order not to get spanked, not because they have learned self-control. 90% of American parents spank! I would bet money that a majority of parents who spank have not taken any parenting classes, have not read any parenting books, and have not spoken to educators about disciplining.

Over the years I have had to come up with alternative techniques to disciplining children and they work! Using natural and logical consequences whenever possible work best. Taking away a toy or privileges when a child misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if he or she throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If a child makes a mess, they clean it. If they break something, it goes in the trash and no one can use it. If they can’t sit politely with the class, they get placed away from the group until they are ready to sit politely. The “punishment” always fits the crime.

Another technique I use when a child is misbehaving is this. As soon as they misbehave, I get down to their level and say "I don't like when you (I explain what and why)." I take them gently by the hand and put them in a spot by themselves and say "When you're ready to (stop, control yourself, listen, behave) then you can come back with us." This is not a time out because I do not set a time limit (me controlling the child). The child returns when he or she is ready to control themselves.

I notice children when they are not misbehaving. I say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You can run super fast! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders, great ways to show attention, and help children to feel powerful in a positive way.

I always set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. I’ll say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time I say it. I say "Yes" as much as possible. I am patient and consistent. All this without spanking!

Answer 4

Well fisrt off to say that there is a difference in spanking your child and beating them. Sometimes they just need a little smack on the butt.However you feel this is bad , sometimes i try redirecting my daughter's attention to something else. For example if she doing something she's not supposed too. Give her something fun that she can do. Dont yell that only encourages her to scream back. Or you could put her in a time out chair. Tell her she has done something wrong and she needs to sit there and think about what she did wrong and why it's wrong. Don't let her up untills he realizes that what she did wrong. Good luck!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Talk to them on there level. Look at them eye to eye and explain in words they would understand what is acceptable and not then if they don't listen use time out. Try a move i saw on Super Nanny. A behaviour jar, fill one with something age appropriate ( to prevent choking) I used pipe cleaners. For Evey time the child is good reward him/her by putting one in the behaviour jar, and promise them something special at the end of the week. Like video time with mom, or a new book ect. For every behaviour that is unacceptable use time out or take away something they like. This method also works with stickers on a daily/weekly chart.

Answer 6

Spanking. It's the best way.

Why do people think it sounds cruel? It's not. It's communicating love.

Punishments like time-outs and groundings only makes the child bitter and angry. I would know. Every time my mother engrossed me in a long lecture, I thought angry thoughts, became bitter, and only wished she would stop talking. Sometimes it would make me feel awful as well; and I felt like she hated me.
But with a spanking, I was immediately sorry and repentant, and knew that I was loved.
Remember this rule: Words break down the spirit, but discipline builds it up.

Just remember that after a controlled spanking (make sure you're not angry when administering it) be sure to tell your child how much you love him, and give him a hug, and tell him not to do it again.

Answer 7

1. Stay one step ahead of children intellectually. Ask not, "Do you want to take a nap?", but "Do you want to take your nap earlier today or would you prefer to take your nap when I'm finished putting the laundry away?"
2. Reduce the incidence of behaviors that lead to punishment by preventing as many as you have the energy for. Anticipate problems or temptations or whatever and reduce/remove as many of the contributing variables as possible. Feed a grumpy child a cracker and they'll cope better. Put a sturdier lid on the aquarium rather than fuss over a flimsy one that a child keeps getting into. Quietly eliminate toys for two weeks that are thrown or deliberately damaged. Supervise closely.
3. Discuss behaviors with children. Come out directly without heavyhandedness or threats and say that you need some help because whatever you are doing simply does not seem to be working. Solicit a child's perspective on situations and then negotiate. With older children capable of running away or theft or drug use, ect., I bluntly made it clear that if what I was doing did not adequately suit them and if they did not intend to cooperate with my supervision, then I would turn them over to the courts so that someone more capable would be assigned to be their guardian, because, ultimately, it was MY responsibility to keep them safe and well and if I was not able to do that then I would relinguish my role in the matter. That really works right away.
4. Reduce the incident and paradigm of "punishment" altogether. Such an environment "seems" to work but limits children from ascending to higher orders of personal ethics and accountability. Such environments also breed an underlying tension that actually feeds into itself and creates some of the stress and fear and confusion that leads to misbehavior.
5. With very young children, YOU are what they desire the most. If they create such disharmony that YOU become unbalanced and miserable, you must remove yourself from them. All living things, to be healthy, must move away from noxious stimuli. Occasional misbehaviors do not warrent your separation from them. But, repetitive and cluster misbehaviors can be reduced if you can leave them and go about some other aspect of your life. You and the child may just need a break from each other. But, children must learn that people other than them have feelings and tensions and rights to live in peace, too.
6. Never fall apart in front of them. Don't just LOOK calm. You feel calm. Stay calm and they will feel your balance and thrive off it. When there's tension, drop everything and bring harmony back into your lives with a shower together or a walk. Treat misbehavior as though something is hurting the child. Fix the hurt or "dis"-ease and the subsequent behavior will improve.
7. Never engage in tit-for-tat combat with a child. That teaches them to do more "combat" or testing of wills with you. Somehow convey to children that it's not about contest of wills, but, about love and service to each other and to the family.
8. Teach, don't punish. Use as many situations as possible, like pennies dropped into their intellectual buckets, to work through issues together, to figure out how to cope better, to learn something deeper about each other's hearts and beliefs and misconceptions and such.
9. Threaten to beat them regularly with wet noodles.

Answer 8

Whatever you do, don't yell. Talk firmly and take the child to their room and let them stay there for 10 minutes. Once that it up, go up there and explain why they got a time out. Give them a hug and invite them to come back to the family time. If they did not cool down, let them stay in their room for a little bit longer. Hope ti works!

Answer 9

I always try to make the punishment fit the crime; two recent examples are: my daughter blew out the candles after dinner when it wasn't her turn (and she knew it--it's a big deal at our house) so she lost candle-blowing privileges till we switch from a fall candle to a Christmas one. Also I keep a spray bottle of pure lemon juice in the fridge for "oral offences". It's a take on the ol' washing the mouth out with soap. I mostly have used it for biting, but also for potty talk. and my final two cents--
most kids need a good spanking on their butt now and then.

Answer 10

Grown adults who can't spell are my biggest pet peeve in the world. They wonder why the new generation of kids are borderline illiterate. Anyways, try starving them. Sensory deprevation is also good

edit:
In response to the time out idea, don't physically force them to go to time out. That's just as bad as spanking. As long as they do the timeout, it doesn't matter where they go. Just let them go and cool off. And in response to LGT: lol that's fu**ing hilairious man.

Answer 11

You can use timeouts.....
Or if you have watched Nanny 911, one method I like that she uses is the timeout mat, she takes a small rug and has the child sit on it for timeout, he can't move off the mat...... and put it in the middle of the floor where you are, and he can't talk either!

Or you can take things away from your kids as a disapline, toys, dessert, TV, computer.... I like that way..... they remember that....