A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back." "Where are you going, Cootchy Coo?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar Pretty Face, he answered. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar...You know...they have frozen glasses..." He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying. "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK? "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh? She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.
"But my sweet honey...at the bar...you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN SH*T! SIT YOUR A*S DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED A*S ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SH*T IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?
and...they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?---
2006-11-21 09:16:42 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Lovely. (That is the best I have heard all year)
2006-11-21 09:19:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 15⤊ 0⤋
If guys are telling you "look at that monster" and "how big is it" and crap like that Then I would say you sound as if you are one of the lucky ones who is overly endowed. Also I am slightly concerned about all the attention these guys are paying to your cok. Do you go to Queer High? I only had a few guys ever comment about my penis and they wanted to suck it. So don't bend over in the shower at your school, or watch for guys that keep dropping the soap at your feet.
2016-03-29 04:39:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah ...well he has only been married for two weeks, give him another 6 months and he will realise that women have got an answer for everything
Give him a year and he can put his encyclopedia collection on e bay, and can advertise them as no longer needed, wife knows it all
Good joke mate, liked it
2006-11-21 09:24:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fabulous!! That was really good hun i like that sort of thing I wish i'd said that to my husband and maybe he wouldn't have gone to the bar and met .... his new squeeze!!!
2006-11-21 09:27:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's happened to me....well, not all that crap before the last paragraph. Just the last part.
2006-11-21 09:21:15 · answer #5 · answered by bardstale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The end is kinda predictable, other than that it's a good one.
2006-11-21 09:23:22 · answer #6 · answered by red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the time! I love you
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2006-11-21 09:49:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She seems like a psycho
2006-11-21 09:28:24 · answer #8 · answered by ??Adriana?? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow... she sounds like a ***** but in the loving way
2006-11-21 09:21:33 · answer #9 · answered by brown eyes baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u owe me a minute of my life, hand it over
2006-11-21 09:21:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋